Exposing bad sellers (redacted names)

[martstoc_0]

Hi,

Please can I get some people views on rude sellers & also the notion of why the seller is heavily protected from criticism.

I've had recent bad experience in which I attempted to buy 2 items, these items were actually sold to me & the payment went through pay pal but the seller then cancelled the order.(the payments were complete messed up, showing as multiple split payments & such, paypal hasn't offered any explanation for it & the usual ignoring stance, while I've got the refund, I am also not happy with the messy receipts that ensues.

I've taken the step to post the conversations - while redacting vital details - with the aim to gauge other reactions as to why I am very disappointed & somewhat angry with eBay & PayPal lack of empathy or even a response to my raised complaints.

As you can see hopefully coming from an unbiased prospective, would you be happy with a seller talking to yourselves like this? would it instill you with confidence?

please add comments & views.

I was happy to buy the items still but now have found similar items but nicer & better.

I have no desire for anything now but if it creates a debate into what is acceptable behavior then I'm eager to do this.

It seems to me with no offense intended to eBay or paypal - the seller is heavily protected  - even with proof that the seller has acted & spoken quite appallingly.

if the boot was on the other foot I'd be banned for speaking to seller like this, indeed if I spoke to anybody in my further education or work I'd be instantly taken down a few pegs, there seems to be no middle ground, very poor really & it has made me question several purchases from ebay since & I've found other avenues so long-term ebay has only damaged itself.

please comment & share.

Oh I'm happy to add context if needed, I just wanted to keep it short as poss.

Please note photos have gone on in reverse order sorry

 

 

 

 

[jckl1957]

In my opinion, the seller did not behave badly.  There is nothing appalling in their messages.

They gave you a clear instruction to help you complete your purchase, which you seem to have entirely ignored.

They had concerns about selling to you - maybe seeing you as a potentially difficult customer - so they chose not to deal with you. They have the right to do this.

[papso22]

Looking at the messages there is more to this than just a cancelled order.

You seem to be asking the seller to do something they are unwilling/unable to do.  If they has asked on here we would probably have advised cancelling, depending on all the circumstances. 

Ebay really doesn't care how members talk to each other via messages. I don't know what PayPal has to do with it.

[ed_58611]

The seller clearly tells you that he does not decide on the shipping charges, yet you go on to say that you will only decide to purchase when he gives you an approximation of said fees???

It seems that instead of waiting for the seller to list the 2 items together especially for you to purchase - therefore only the one shipping fee to pay - you went ahead and purchased the 2 items separately anyway.

It looks as though the seller has become exasperated with the timewasting and foresees potential problems owing to your lack of competance and/or comprehension... he may even suspect that you are a minor using an adult's account.

[*vyolla*]

I can't see that the seller has done anything wrong here, certainly there's nothing that you can report them for either. 

[plpmr]

adding to the advice already given -

you say  "even with proof that the seller has acted & spoken quite appallingly.".

Perhaps you could post the proof to support your claim here?

[m25jet]

Although this may not be the kind of response that you were hoping to receive, try looking at the situation from the seller's point of view for a moment in order to try and get a better understanding of how the transaction may have appeared from his or her perspective.

You may or may not be aware that eBay have recently introduced Simple Delivery, which gives sellers far less control over the different postage options than they had before this was imposed.  Prior to the introduction of Simple Delivery sellers were able to select their own couriers, set their own postage prices and offer buyers combined postage discounts, yet eBay appear to have put a stop to this with their latest changes to the postage options available to sellers.  As such, if a buyer wanted to buy two or more items from the same seller that had been listed separately following the introduction of Simple Delivery and also receive a postage discount for them to all be sent in one go, the best option for the buyer would be to ask the seller if he or she would be willing to create a listing to include all of the items in question so that the buyer could then pay for all of the items in one go and only have to pay for one lot of postage.  However, by paying for the items separately the seller would have had to send each item separately, as all of the individual purchases count as separate transactions.  The reasons for this are outlined below.

If a buyer chooses to pay for each item individually the seller would have then been required by eBay to supply a tracking number for each of these indivudual transactions in order to prove that each item had been successfully received so as to minimise eBay's hold on the money, given that they now won't release the funds to the seller swiftly until proof of delivery is received.  By taking several separate transactions and posting each item in one package this makes things more complicated for the seller, as he or she would not have been able to upload the same tracking number for the first item against the remaining items purchased via different transactions, which would have left him or her vulnerable to an unjustified Item Not Received case being opened in relation to the items that hadn't been given a tracking number.  If you look at it this way perhaps you'll understand why the seller saw it as a red flag and decided to refund your money.

In view of the above, if at any point in the future you want to buy more than one item from the same seller but the items in question have been listed separately contact the seller via the Ask Seller A Question option and ask him or her whether he or she would be willing to list the items in question in one listing so that you only need to pay one lot of postage when the items are sent.  By approaching the matter in this manner it is less likely to make sellers feel uneasy, and you may well find that many sellers agree to the request and list the items in one transaction for you to purchase, as opposed to refunding your money and adding your User ID to their Blocked Bidders List.

[jma2815]

If a ‘buyer’ came on to me wittering on about being ‘interested’ in multiple items and postage this or that, not listening to what they’re told (seller does not set postage) and making offers - I don’t entertain offers by message - I’d block them for ‘red flags’ too, but with luck I’d have time to do it before they had a chance to buy anything. 

I think your seller did the right thing cancelling. The way they put it may have been a bit rude but that’s not uncommon on ebay. 

[moonlight-rhapsody]

I see you've only been a member of ebay since 2 April and I do think the ebay way of working takes a bit of getting used to.  As others have said, the seller's reaction seems quite appropriate under the circumstances.  I think the best thing you can do is take on board what experienced people here have said, and next time try and follow the lead of the seller.  After a while, you will hopefully get a "feel" for the expectations of sellers and have a more successful outcome.  Good luck with your next purchase!

[moonlight-rhapsody]

"I see you've only been a member of ebay since 2 April"

My bad, I misread your joining date which was 2024 not 2025.  All the same, I can see you haven't made many purchases so I think the rest of my previous post is valid.

[martstoc_0]

Wittering, how demeaning , I am a human being ya know.

I already purchased the items using the discount codes that was sent to me, by my working out this would of been cheaper and also I was not aware you could use more than one discount code, anyway I will post this .

[martstoc_0]

Hi yes the four screenshots , I will add more as I kinda know I would have the skeptics answering.

Various comments , not gonna break me but if I spoke like that to people I'd be up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

But is it really the way to conduct yourself , seei g as I already had purchased the items and then she canceled themz no idea why.

I'll add all this proof, I will redact the names of the seller.

[martstoc_0]

Maybe demeaning somebody is ok in 2025.

Others might find it acceptable to act like a Karen in your messages to somebody who's going to spending money on items.

Reality is the seller was a disgrace to Hispanic items and culture, my grandparent and the bloodline will be spinning.

[jma2815]

Wittering, yes.  That’s a big red flag. The rest I couldn’t make much sense of. 

The thing you don’t understand is that sellers have NO protection. We cancel or block orders when experience tells us that the buyer will be trouble. You gave that impression to your seller and s/he quite rightly cancelled in order to prevent the complaints, expensive returns and bad feedback that often follows a sale to a buyer who has instigated a lot of messaging, especially if the messaging continues after the sale and before despatch. 

The tone was one of frustration more than anything - you keep saying you’d be in trouble if you spoke to clients like that but your seller is not ebay’s employee. They don’t police messages for acceptable levels of customer service, the bots just search them for security infringements. Outright insulting messages, which this was nowhere near, can be reported to CS, who are able to take a look at them, the usual advice is simply to ignore messages and block the sender if you find them offensive. 

You are a new member so I’d advise, as others have -  learning more about the way ebay operates and working on your written English in order to come across as more mature in your communications with other users. 

Good luck with future purchases. 

[jma2815]

Referring to someone as a ‘Karen’ is an ageist and misogynist insult that needs to be stamped out. 

You came here because you wanted help of some kind but you’re not doing yourself any favours are you? 

[jckl1957]

Please don't add any more 'proof' - you asked for comments and, overwhelmingly, people who have responded have agreed that the seller did nothing wrong.

The seller queried your age - that was a response to your comment saying you had used your 'mom's' phone and computer.

They also commented on your poor English.

That was unnecessary, but probably as a result of their frustration; it is clear to anybody looking at your exchanges that you were either not reading or not understanding their messages.

You did not have any grounds for making a complaint to Ebay.

You just need to move on.

Sometimes adults have to agree to differ - that is the case here.

[martstoc_0]

Hi there just to clarify on the kearn statement.

I could say with respect that so many sensible invaded bloggers, even legal channels on social media use this term regular 

Look up the definition of it.

It's not misogyny as it can be used for males females and all races.

I'd ask that the term is not weaponzed or politicized

[martstoc_0]

Hi replied to the wrong one sorry.

Yes just adding the term Karen can be used for all genders and races.

It's not a politicized term.

Even legal channels on social media use the term with some jovialality and is intended to poke fun.

Look up the meaning of Karen or male equalizer Kevin I fault os we where it's targeted at age also.

The comment about the lady/ store being a disgrace to Hispanic culture, once again taken out of context.

My growing up with the culture as I have  Hispanic bloodline from the Mexican region is that politeness overrides everything, this is down to beliefs in things such as brujería or bruja ( again segregation by male female equivalents).

So with all due respect I will not be retracting that comment but have added context.

Lastly if we deep dive then surely the sellers come to about my age and red flags (with no evidence) and using my mom's computer( as explained I don't have WiFi upstairs due to cost and I don't like the constant updates therefore when I went wifi I use my mom's via VPN downstairs). Does that not constitute some do what I'm poking fun at?

Encouraging debates where seen fit .

[m25jet]

You state in your most recent post that the use of the term "Karen" can be applied to both genders and all races, and that even legal channels on social media use the term in joviality with the intention to poke fun at people, but in reality using comments such as "Others might find it acceptable to act like a Karen in your messages to somebody who's going to spending money on items" is not an acceptable way to speak to people who are posting responses on your thread with the intention of providing you with feedback, as per your request.  Addressing people in a manner which is likely to cause offence is out of order and should be avoided at all costs, especially given that you posted this thread asking for people's points of view in the first place!

You also state that you grew up in a Hispanic culture in which politeness overrides everything.  With that in mind I would advise you to refrain from using terms which have the potential to cause offence and focus instead on addressing people politely, even if you disagree with the opinions that they have put forward.

[moonlight-rhapsody]

"politeness overrides everything"

^ In that case, it would be a good idea if you just thanked everybody for taking the trouble to try and help you understand why things went wrong with the seller, and take on board what everybody has said instead of arguing with it.  You are likely to run into problems with other sellers if you react to them as you have reacted to the helpful people on this thread.  Just saying.