Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.
We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.
Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.
Come on in...:-D
So, not content with the mule, the cat and the goat we've acquired a rat now? Manuel's rat? I dunno, Bill...sounds like we've got a zoo here, not a Bar! 
Stop getting ideas, Charlie. I know what you're thinking. No ~ you are NOT erecting another annex! We have more annexes than pub space as it is! :_| We now have hedgehogs knocking on the door at night because of all this. You could get yourself pricked by one of those y'know...:| :^O
You still haven't had that eye test yet have you? No wonder Jimbo's happy with the huge pints you keep givin' him! 
Your biccies were not the titchy posh ones I ordered! And I thought the customer was always right.....
I did go for an eye test and waited ages to be seen. You should have come with me like I asked. But the lady at the chip shop was very understanding and helped me along to the optician further along the road. They were shut 😞
😛
And the customer IS always right. But since you never cough up any dosh you ain't a customer! ha! :^O
This is new, Bill ~ this "evil cackling"? Is it curable? Would it show up on the brain scanner? Assuming they can find a brain cell? Hmmm? 
Not curable, I'm afraid Charlie. Contageous though 'cos I caught it off you. 😛 But you have insulted me by your slant on my brain capacity. Now how you managed that with the brain the size of a peanut baffles me. :^O But you are a bit of alright just the same...:-x
*try rent-a-brain!* :^O
:^O
:^O
You cannot hide from my keyboard, Charlie :^O
It is almost on fire here, you know! :^O
Good grief, this is such fun! :^O:^O
"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard and saw that Charlie was there..." :^O More next time...:| :^O
*tap-tap-tap ~ type-type-type* :^O
Stop getting ideas, Charlie. I know what you're thinking. No ~ you are NOT erecting another annex! We have more annexes than pub space as it is! :_| We now have hedgehogs knocking on the door at night because of all this. You could get yourself pricked by one of those y'know...:
:^O
There is loads of land out back, y'know! We could expand into ...
well, not sure yet but I am thinking! 😄 We'll have to take over 'Arrods, T***cos, of course and the Co-op but they won't mind ~ they hate the Bar anyway! Too upmarket for them! :^O
I did go for an eye test and waited ages to be seen. You should have come with me like I asked. But the lady at the chip shop was very understanding and helped me along to the optician further along the road. They were shut
:^O
Spec Savers next door was open but you missed that didn't you? Tsk!
Have a vodka and orange, Bill....
Can you see it OK? It's ^^^ there...:-)
*bless!* :^O
And the customer IS always right. But since you never cough up any dosh you ain't a customer! ha!
Oh I've paid! Many times, many many times! Just because your one memory cell has packed up! 😛 Look, here's some more....! :^O
*I bet that gets swiped as soon as he sees it!*:^O
All this happy talk has made me thirsty, could I have "Sex on the Beach" please. B-)
Do you know how to do it? 😐
:^O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_on_the_Beach
B-)
There is loads of land out back, y'know! We could expand into ...
well, not sure yet but I am thinking! 😄 We'll have to take over 'Arrods, T***cos, of course and the Co-op but they won't mind ~ they hate the Bar anyway! Too upmarket for them! :^O
:^O
We have already built a swimming pool and nicked half the garden from the lady in the wool shop next door! Her washing line is now stretched across the pool and people are complaining about her unmentionables getting tangled around their scubas 😮 :^O
But trying to take over 'Arrods and Toscos would be an expensive business. But I'm up for it if you are 😐 :^O
Spec Savers next door was open but you missed that didn't you? Tsk!
No, I didn't. I did actually go in for a haircut ?:|:^O Made a bit of a spectacle of myself too! ha! 😛
Have a vodka and orange, Bill....
Thanks for the drink, Charlie :-x *feels around for it*
Here's one for you. 🙂
Oh I've paid! Many times, many many times! Just because your one memory cell has packed up! Look, here's some more....!
Lots of 'manys' up there ^^^ But there are still many more times like that to come 😄
But there is nothing wrong with my...what was it you said? ?:| :^O
*I bet that gets swiped as soon as he sees it!*
:^O Not swiped, Charlie, but checked just in case it came from a robbery 😐
:^O
Don't worry about the wool shop, Bill. I'm doin' a deal....she sells us the shop, she gets access to the pool whenever she wants. 🙂
Well okay then, but would you mind waiting until she's finished knitting my cardigan please? 🙂
*and my bed socks* :^O
No, I didn't. I did actually go in for a haircut 
Made a bit of a spectacle of myself too! ha!
I heard about that!
Did you really call them that?
In a word ~ yes I did. 😄 A few weeks later even the Magistrate laughed. Then fined me! 😞
I was employing sarcasm but I see it's wasted!
*memory of a goldfish*
A goldfish? Shall we open a bar aquarium? There are lots of fish down here. We could fill it with cod and plaice. You could chip in and we could buy it between us.
Did you see what I did there ^^^ :^O That'll slay her! :^O
But sarcasm, Charlie, tsk. You tell me orf when I use that. But I do like sarcastic twit ~ sorry, I mean 'wit'. Well twit does sound rather apt, doesn't it? pffft! :^O
No, it's from the ATM in our Bar, Bill
*oh dear, shouldn't have mentioned that...he'll be playing that ATM like a one armed bandit now!*
Goodness, I like that! ^^^ My arm is already aching! And I am winning! :^O
I am saving the best ones for later. Have hundreds for you.
Oooh nooo....!!:_|
:^O
May as well reply to this while you're watching Jack and Annie Walker at the Rovers. 😄
Well okay then, but would you mind waiting until she's finished knitting my cardigan please?
*and my bed socks*
Another image dashed!
You will love it. It is red white and blue and comes down to my knees ~ modern :^O
In a word ~ yes I did. A few weeks later even the Magistrate laughed. Then fined me!
I should think so too! Disgustin' language! The Magistrate I mean, not you!
:^O
Yes, he was a pig, but I shouldn't have said 'oink-oink' when he gave me a fifty-pound fine ~ he doubled it! :O:^O
A goldfish? Shall we open a bar aquarium?
No, but how about opening a chippy? I feel hungry now.....
A chippy? That's my image gorn up the spout! :^O What happened to the strawberries and cream woman I once knew? You'll be cursing at football matches before you know it! :^O
But sarcasm, Charlie, tsk. You tell me orf when I use that.
Well, when I use it, it's more "wit" than sarcasm ...so there IS a difference!
And poking your tongue out at me is wit, is it? But hey, I'm not complaining ~ nice tongue :^O
Goodness, I like that! ^^^ My arm is already aching! And I am winning!
If you're winning it means yer spending!
Step away from the machine, Bill ......
I can't, Charlie. I have won 75p and I feel lucky! :^O
Better go and get some dinner now..
fish and chips seem nice!
Kent sends its fish to your area, you know. Good it is too, so is he water it comes from ~ I paddle in it :|:^O
See you soon, Charlie :-x
BFN...
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