Mrs May

[john.b74]

.

Letter to Mrs May - Genius!!

Dear Mrs May,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[fallen-archie]

I've been speaking up for ages and where has it got me😀
But a great lesson in micro economics there and one which I believe has great merit.

[j_uk643]

awww bless, haven't seen those for a few years or so.

When all those vast sums have been apportioned out, perhaps reserve some for remedial basic maffs

It's macro economics if dealt with rationally, or loonytunes as is.
Even cutting numbers drastically, it would be a low grade result in most econometric models

prisons and illegals thrown in as well, gosh happy days

There are so many things wrong, it's difficult to know where to start, it's like going back in time when you know these
issues have already been covered, time and again, yet nothing seems to have dented preferred myths

prisoners, even in the new cat c prison, discussed on here, are not really allowed internet access
some may have illicit phones but these if found will be confiscated
nowhere routinely on the net then for a daily whinge and whine - oh wicked wicked, world lol

[cee-dee]

Justa minnit, justa minnit, no internet, no mobile phones???????:-

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/take-look-inside-britains-newest-9942730

[j_uk643]

So if I post a picture of a flat piece of earth, that means the earth is flat??

Here's a 'local' one for you

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/inside-britains-biggest-prison-inmates-12678253

'The phones in the prisoners’ rooms can only be used under strict conditions and when earned as a privilege'

There are pin code restrictions

The laptops will not have access to the internet

(my italics, colouring, underlining, for the hard of understanding )

The Governor Russ Trent has already stated this, and it was mentioned on the other thread here, yet some would prefer to believe otherwise - aint it funny??

Oh and that's in the latest new build cat c prison, which is not representative of most of the others.
Like illegal substances, mobile phones including those with internet access exist, but will be confiscated if found.

[theelench]

Points 1 to 5 plus PS --- great ideas but I would add that all MPs and Councillors should take an immediate pay cut of twenty percent.  They've cut everything for everyone else while managing to not cut a penny off their ill gotten gains.

I remember many years ago a terrible famine in Biafra and a report on TV saying all the millions sent there being a waste as they were doing no good at all.  The reporter saying it would be more effective if the ambassador  gave out sixpences in the street. 

That's the basic problem,  govt. has has too much of our money leaving everyone with too little.

"Money that moves is money that grows"  possibly said by Keynes?

[upthecreekyetagain]

I love point 3 

How much of the million will be left if 10 million people all want to and have the means to buy a house - zero, zilch, nothing, nada.  

It's not demand that is the problem, it's supply.

I wonder how many would be willing to wear a permanent ID tag as an earring? 🙂

[john.b74]

I would go for a ID chip in the arm.

[astrologica]

Me too.