My favourite announcement advises passengers that beggars sometimes operate on the train and we must not give money to them because the rail company "has made a donation to a homeless charity on your behalf".
Who is it that decides to issue such patronisingly idiotic advice, and why? Do they have training colleges dedicated to devising phrases that will sound irritating and condescending in equal measure?
The masters of this genre are, of course, government departments, which seemingly employ armies of bureaucrats compiling statements of the blindingly obvious presumably because they have nothing else to do.
We are grateful to a former minister, for this gem: "Whatever the weather, a traditional festive walk is a great way for families and friends to avoid that sluggish feeling and have a more active Christmas." You don't say. In any case, how does the suggestion that we venture out for this walk "whatever the weather" square with the counsel of the AA or the Met Office whenever a flake of snow falls from the sky that we should "only travel if absolutely necessary". Soon, we will go to work accompanied by a disembodied voice telling us to "breathe in, breathe out".
We are exhorted and harangued, often for no obvious reason other than that someone or some agency feels it necessary to ensure all possibility of risk or potential for discomfort are removed from our lives. I had thought this had something to do with a fear of being sued – but there is a deeper reason.
We live increasingly in a world where it is assumed that the authorities, whoever they are, will look after us. The trouble is that many people believe they should be looked after. Society is gradually being infantilised; and it is this that destroys individualism, erodes common sense, removes discretion, stifles creativity and entrenches dependency.
We are all to blame: it is easy to point to a scapegoat when anything goes wrong, and our children are chaperoned wherever they go, yet they are more adventurous than we were, travelling the world and hurling themselves out of planes or off bridges attached to elasticated rope. Only at home are they cossetted by parents with a disproportionate idea of danger and a government that thinks it is helping matters by turning much of the adult population into a reservoir of suspected child molesters.
The biggest change we have seen in recent times is not children growing up too fast, but a paternalistic bossiness that is simply a displacement activity for sensible government and which has infected most walks of life. I wonder if those left on here can think of another outstanding example of this behaviour?
The bulk of this article is edited and originally appeared in the Daily Telegraph, written by Philip Johnston.
