Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[tommy.irene]

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara Desert on a camel.On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead.After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.''I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.' 'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?''Anything, Father.''I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.''Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.' The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he fondled them for several minutes.'Father, could I ask something of you?''Yes, Sister?''I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?''I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe. 'Oh Father, may I touch it?' The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can Give Life.''Is that true Father?' 'Yes, it is, Sister.''Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!' 😛

[margaret*e]

I'm just off to A and E Bill, I feel a bit dazed, even worse than when I was trying to communicate with Ebay.

You didn't have to get a bricklayer in, I would have sent my son along to fix it, he's a  brickayer too, he would have done it free of charge for you, seeing that it was my fault.:-x

[bill-xxx]

I'm just off to A and E Bill, I feel a bit dazed, even worse than when I was trying to communicate with Ebay.

You didn't have to get a bricklayer in, I would have sent my son along to fix it, he's a  brickayer too, he would have done it free of charge for you, seeing that it was my fault.:-x

Poor you :-x

But don't blame yourself, Margaret! I have been banging my head on it for weeks now! 😞 I must have loosened the bricks ~ and my brain! :^O

But your son sounds like the kind of bloke I could well get to like. Free of charge, you say? I will make a note of that :^O

Good luck at A & E. My hospital locks the doors when I try to get in 😮

:^O

[Anonymous]

Good afternoon guys. :-x

Could I have a black coffee please?

And I would like my own bed in this place as I'm sleeping here most of the time. 🙂

[margaret*e]

Psst Bill, he doesn't like anyone else but me mentioning free work, look at his little face when I said you had suggested he worked for free.:O

http://www.andrewfphotography.com/men/scary_man2.jpg

[bill-xxx]

Afternoon Harry :-x

One black coffee...

Will ring www.beds.com and see what they have for you...:-D

[bill-xxx]

Psst Bill, he doesn't like anyone else but me mentioning free work, look at his little face when I said you had suggested he worked for free.:O

http://www.andrewfphotography.com/men/scary_man2.jpg

😮

:^O

That's a very similar expression I have when someone asks me to pay for something :^O

[Anonymous]

Thank you Bill.:-)

Will you make sure the bed isn't too hard...I hate hard beds...they make my bones ache...I'm not as young as I used to be...;-)

[bill-xxx]

Thank you Bill.:-)

Will you make sure the bed isn't too hard...I hate hard beds...they make my bones ache...I'm not as young as I used to be...;-)

Okay Harry

I will make sure it's not too hard for you 😐

Will get them to use the best straw 😄

[Anonymous]

Straw? I'd prefer horse hair......:-p

[bill-xxx]

Okay ~ I will snip a bit orf that nag mule of yours 😛

[Anonymous]

😮

My mule doesn't like anyone touching him....

and I said horse hair.....X-(

[bill-xxx]

Harry, I have to pop off for a while. Have my DIL calling round with the grandchildren.

Take charge for me and there will be another sixpence in your pay packet! 😄

See you later...

[bill-xxx]

😮

My mule doesn't like anyone touching him....

and I said horse hair.....X-(

I have a way of making people happy 😮

:^O

[Anonymous]

If you think I'm guarding this place for that kind of pay you must be kidding....

I'm off too.......I will leave the door open....:^O

[bill-xxx]

If you think I'm guarding this place for that kind of pay you must be kidding....

I'm off too.......I will leave the door open....:^O

Peasant! :^O

[tommy.irene]

Give me a whisky and were is the ice bucket..Its 30* here today..

[skyfly2112]

EVERY WEEK!!!!!sheesh couldnt  manage that!

 It really does make it easier caution, every week and it takes onyl 5 mins to do.

Here you go, Margaret.  Your very own wall! 

Watch out, Bill!  They're after you!

Love it, very good.

[skyfly2112]

God sake, give us a vodka and ice, no lemon.

These pages are taking for ever to come up and as for the smilies, they are taking even longer.:|

[bill-xxx]

Hi Lin :-x

One vodka & ice ~ no lemon...