A bit of fun quotes.

[Anonymous]

I tried to follow my dreams, but now I have multiple restraining orders.

[astrologica]

I prefer not to think before speaking....I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

[astrologica]

I hate it when the little voices in my head go silent....I never know what they're planning.

[astrologica]

I never argue....I just explain why I'm right!

[astrologica]

I speak my mind...because it hurts to bite my tongue all the time.

[astrologica]

It's not my fault that I have a double chin...When God was handing out chins, I thought he said 'gin', so I said I'd have a double.

[Anonymous]

And when God was handing out noses, I thought he said roses and I asked for a big red one.

[Anonymous]

Not really a quote...

And the Lord said unto John, "come forth and you will receive eternal life".

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

[astrologica]

And didn't the Lord say...'Go forth and multiply'.....the worst piece of **bleep**e advice ever. Look at the mess we are in now!

[cee-dee]

Medicine is the Art of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sick, I'm twisted.

Sick makes it sound like there is a cure.

[cee-dee]

There are three kinds of lies:- Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I'm sorry....did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

[cee-dee]

I can resist anything except temptation.

[cee-dee]

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything and the young know everything.

[Anonymous]

When a woman says "what?"  it's not because she didn't hear you, she is giving you a chance to change what you said.

[astrologica]

Harry....that little gem about John and the toaster has had me laughing all day! Thanks for that!😄

[evoman3957]

Just because you can't do the right thing ALL the time, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do the right thing ANY of the time.

[jd.linklater]

If you love somebody set them free.

If they come back set them on fire.

[evoman3957]

Freedom is another word for nothing left to lose.