A bit of fun quotes.

[Anonymous]

I tried to follow my dreams, but now I have multiple restraining orders.

[fallen-archie]

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

[Anonymous]

Astro, when I read that one I also cried with laughter. 

[fallen-archie]

Never trust s man in brown shoes!

[suzieseaside]

On a cynical note .......

A good deed rarely goes unpunished!

[Anonymous]

If a woman tells you that you're right, that's called sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying you are stupid, I'm just saying you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking.

[Anonymous]

Some people are like clouds.........When they disappear, it's a beautiful day.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered............

"who ties your shoelaces for you?"

[Anonymous]

The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree!"

The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella!"

The walnut says, "I look like a brain!"

The banana says, "Can we please change the subject!"

[Anonymous]

My daughter wanted a Cinderella-themed party,

so I invited all her friends over and made them clean the house.

[cee-dee]

United we stand, divided we fall.

[Anonymous]

After Tuesday, even the calender goes W T F.

[Anonymous]

I gave my father £100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

[cee-dee]

Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

[cee-dee]

Oooops................

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

[logbox]

I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong.

[cee-dee]

Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.

[littleme61_6]

''Live your life - Don't let it live you''

(Too many people expect an individual to live their life the way they want them to live it - In my book as long as I don't go out to harm anyone, then I will live my life as I choose. )

[cee-dee]

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

[Anonymous]

Not a quote, but funny.

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”