Might be moving home.. Am I doing the right thing?

[**streety**]

How are you all?

Had a major decision to make over the last couple of weeks and it's been hard.

Last year I was going to move into my Mums home until after going through the finances i realised I couldn't. One year on and our lodger has decided to probably move on, and the possibility of moving there has risen it's ugly head again.

It would mean some more space, the kids would be able to have their own room and with my son turning 11 and going to secondary school, that would be a bonus and we would have a garden...

My really big dilemma has been the fact that if we move we won't be able to stay forever, roughly 7 or 8 years.  If we stay in our flat we have the potential to stay for much longer if not forever, but at the flat we are running out of room. So in time I might find it really hard and have to search for somewhere else, who knows?

My argument for not going was security, and the kids would just have to put up with sharing until it became unbearable, then I'd sleep on the sofa maybe, as it cant be fun for a teenage girl to share a small space with her older brother.. I don't know.
Everyone I've spoken to think that while people have to make do with the space they have, as there is an opportunity to live in a bigger house (mortgage free) even though it's not forever, I should take it.

I should just jump of that cliff and go for it, even though I have no idea what will happen to us when it's sold (to pay for Mum's care)
So at the moment, this is what I've decided to probably do.
Just wondered if you guys thought the same if you were in my position.

i'm in bits about leaving my little flat, as I love it here, but trying to tell myself that people move all the time.

[brynteg11]

could you rent your flat out with a plan to move back there. In 7-8 years your children will be older and off to college etc so maybe you'd need less room again? Just wondered how did you arrive at the 7-8 year figure (tell me it's none of my business if you want)

[hightara]

streety what age are your kids?

right now i'm in a terraced house.......two medium sized bedrooms and a small (slightly bigger than a box room)

i have tara in the little one........... the three boys (all over 6ft and some) in the other room (i have those bunks with a double on the bottom and a single on the top)

me and hubby in the other.

the eldest (in aussie) gave up his room when tara came out of our room........ he used a fold up bed at night in the living room, this wasnt ideal for him so he moved in with his granny just up the road.

depending on the age your kids are..........can be a major factor in your move.

[ilove2patch]

In your position I would go for it. Save all you can during the time you are there mortgage free so when you need to move on you will be in a position to put down some money up front. As has been mentioned your two will be so much older then & may even have moved out.

It might be seven years but the rules change on selling homes to pay for care. Have you looked into whether the house would have to be sold if you and the children are living in it & have no other place to go? Ask at the CAB if you haven't already. I really would go if it was me.:-x

[**streety**]

Hello Tara, My son is 11 by the end of the week, my daughter is 8.
Both bedrooms are small but the kids one is slighter bigger than mine.  Unfortunately because the rooms are in a converted roof, the walls jut out and there are beams so have never been able to have bunks.

if my kids were the same sex, I wouldn't be considering it.. (although losing Mums house, does pull on the heart strings a little)

Cant rent flat, need to sell it to pay for mums care, and besides, my kids will still need to sleep somewhere at night even if they're at college (school leaving age is now 17)

If I dont move now, Mums house will be sold an the opportunity will be lost forever because lets face it, I'm never going to able to afford such a property rent wise.

What a dilemma!

[**streety**]

Thanks Patch.. It's classed as Fee avoidance as we were not living there when she went into care, so not allowed to stay unfortunately.
If the money from the sale of my flat lasts for 7 or 8 years, the kids will be 15/16 or 17/18

[ilove2patch]

I would still take the opportunity to have more space & less expense for the present time. Who knows what is around the corner. I am rather a 'live for today' person since losing my husband. I believe we should take all the opportunities we are given & sort out any problems as they arise. It has served me well so far.:-)

[**streety**]

Thats exactly what my auntie said Patch ! 🙂
However I'm so scared about making the right decision as this time last year it wasn't the right decision at all..

[chickengrandma-2008]

I agree with the rest.  You really need the extra space now, you don't know what your position will be in seven or eight years.

Do you mean you'll be moving in with your mum, until she needs to go into a nursing home?  Again, you don't know that she will, my mum was in good health in the afternoon and dead in the evening,  sorry, but these things happen.

Your circumstances might be completely different a few years from now.  Go for it!;-)

[**streety**]

Hi CG, Mum went into a home in Feb last year unfortunately

[chickengrandma-2008]

Oh, I took too long with that didn't I, I understand the situation better now.  Can you rent your flat to get the money for your mum?

I think your children wouldn't be too happy having to share a room as teenagers.:|

[**streety**]

No as the cost of renting it doesn't cover the costs of the care home at all.

[brynteg11]

streety have you had any advice about this? It seems unfair that if you sell your home and pay the fees with that that you then have to sell the house you're living in when the proceeds from the sale run out.

[**streety**]

I rent from my Mum!  The flat is legally hers...Hindsight is a wonderful thing, had we'd known Mum would get ill, we would of put the flat in my name, but obviously know one knows whats around the corner health wise.

[guardpig]

Ok, you take advice, you think, you decide, as best you can NOW.  Then and this is important you do not look back, you do not "what if".  All you can ever make is your best or least worst scenario.  If it is the best now then do it. 

[**streety**]

Thanks guardpig...
I've had a lot of sleepless nights over this. I've always played the safety card, but maybe now it's time to not second guess the future and just go for it

[chickengrandma-2008]

I think you have to do it, otherwise you'll be sitting in your cramped flat wishing you had.  I'm sorry to harp on, looking at the black side, but you don't know how long you'll need to pay the care home.:| 

[dark_castle1]

Are there not new rules out or coming out with regards to the amount of assets money wise you can have before paying for care ?

Streety, I would go for it just now because no one knows what is around the next bend in life and really good fortune could be just around your next one waiting.

[**streety**]

Knowing my Mum, years and years!   She never seems to get ill, bless her

[**streety**]

Why isn't there an edit facility?  That 'years and years' comment was in response to CG.

Things may well change further corgi, who knows..

Thanks for all your advice and reasurrance...  I'll just say that the FHG lot told me to do it if it all goes wrong 😉