Manners (lack of)

[*maetrix*]

Just wondering whether anyone else on ebay - sellers & buyers - have noticed a lack of manners in communication recently?

Had a poor experience from a seller last week - the item arrived broken (in bits) to which his reply was "what am I supposed to do & return it at your own cost"..followed by wishing me "good luck with getting ebay to sort it out"  (they did within the hour)....THEN today a buyer bluntly messaging me "want it by Tuesday or i'll send it back"...no please or thankyou...2024 folks,where manners seem to be a thing of the past...these are just a couple of recent examples but it seems to becoming more frequent.

[tressygirl]

Oh,  I think it's a 'worldwide' phenomena, not just exclusive to eBay.

Manners seem to be a thing sadly, of the past for many, and I speak  concerning not just the young,  but some of the ' old',   too.

[simplyessential_uk]

One of the reasons I shop less on Ebay - Im not sure if its because English may not be the sellers first language or just plain rudeness, but I find my experiences on Ebay are more poor than just being the minority.  Not sure why as I dont get that on other platforms, but I guess sellers become complacent. Mind you if you work in a company who treat you like a number,  on poor salary with no motivation perhaps they are past caring. 

[tommystrezures]

As the old saying goes, "manners cost nothing"

Like previous responses a please and a thank you go a long way in life. Like the OP says if i get an issue and the customer is " Sorry to bother you but there is a problem it is x y z, is it something you can sort out" type of thing then I am sure as heck going to be help them a lot more than the rude, and almost arrogance of some buyers of "get it sorted" attitude.

[arkwebus]

It's possibly denying tactics [or perhaps more kindly lack of knowledge].

In the particular case of the breakage it is best not to bother the seller.  No arguments.  No need to send photos to him ...

Messaging him?  What can he do? 

The correct method is simply to open a "not as described case" to which the seller simply sends a label through the case [if he really wants the bits back] or refunds in full.    @*maetrix* 

As for the "good luck with eBay" if you use the system properly you will 100% get a refund.

[the-nutwood-collection]

It's an eBay thing.  On other sites I receive well-writen, coherent messages including phrases like 'sorry to bother you', and 'could I ask you to ...' 

On eBay, the messages are generally abrupt, seldom any 'please' or 'thank you'.  When I message back saying that I will do as the buyer asks, there's no follow-up 'thanks', just silence.  Similar dialogue on other sites evokes a smiley emoji, or 'brilliant'.

It really is an eBay buyer thing.  I have no idea why buyers are, in the main, so discourteous.  Courtesy costs nothing. 

[wyattharrisx]

You be lucky to get an hello on ebay. I had a message today simply says " not got yet" no hello 

[pillarboxred]

The "want it by Tuesday" buyer can be reported for requesting something unreasonable or not in the listing. I'm not certain of the wording but it is something like that.

[pillarboxred]

The horrible entitled ebay buyers think that they are buying from an automated warehouse not individual people.

[joy_spnfan]

It's exactly the same when people communicate via Facebook marketplace too. I tend to think it is because many people just see words on web pages and completely forget that there is a person behind those words who deserves to be spoken to with respect. Ironically the vast majority of these people would probably never omit the use of eg "please" and "thank you" when speaking to people in real life yet do not think it matters when speaking to a faceless person online. They are very wrong, it matters a LOT!

[kath3735_wxmjn]

well so far i have never had a problem with anyone, the grammar may not be too good but there has been no actual rudeness.    If someone sends me a message and i respond I usually get a thank you back which then sits on my message section waiting for a reply.  Unfortunately i do not know anyway to get rid of those responses until they eventually time out.  How many times can you say thank you!

[kath3735_wxmjn]

I personally have never had a bad experience with messages on e bay but sure it will happen sometime.  However i have had plenty of examples of bad manners in real life!   Why would e bay or any other site be any different to what actually happens in person?  Should not happen but that is life now unfortunately.

[eastern-lights]

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@kath3735_wxmjn wrote:

well so far i have never had a problem with anyone, the grammar may not be too good but there has been no actual rudeness.    If someone sends me a message and i respond I usually get a thank you back which then sits on my message section waiting for a reply.  Unfortunately i do not know anyway to get rid of those responses until they eventually time out.  How many times can you say thank you!

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If the message is against a particular item you are selling, go to you list of active listings and find the item. It may have a note on the lines of "awaiting a response" (I can't remember the wording). If so there is a selection in the drop down menu for that item on the lines of "mark as responded".

Otherwise in messages, select message and "mark as read".

[eastern-lights]

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@kath3735_wxmjn wrote:

well so far i have never had a problem with anyone, the grammar may not be too good but there has been no actual rudeness.    If someone sends me a message and i respond I usually get a thank you back which then sits on my message section waiting for a reply.  Unfortunately i do not know anyway to get rid of those responses until they eventually time out.  How many times can you say thank you!

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My experience is similar. Virtually no rudeness, usually fairly courteous. I wonder if it varies with the type of items being sold? I sell collectables. Nice people, collectors. 

[tommystrezures]

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@eastern-lights wrote:

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@kath3735_wxmjn wrote:

well so far i have never had a problem with anyone, the grammar may not be too good but there has been no actual rudeness.    If someone sends me a message and i respond I usually get a thank you back which then sits on my message section waiting for a reply.  Unfortunately i do not know anyway to get rid of those responses until they eventually time out.  How many times can you say thank you!

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My experience is similar. Virtually no rudeness, usually fairly courteous. I wonder if it varies with the type of items being sold? I sell collectables. Nice people, collectors. 

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I think there may well be an element of truth in that regarding types of items/ field being sold in. Whether collectibles brings in different age groups too etc? We generally have polite customers and in most cases in the example I gave above the would fall in to former rather than the latter group.

[superchallenge]

I think it does depend on the niche, for sure. I sell mainly to collectors, too.

In the last month, I've had multiple people neglecting to use the "Make an Offer" button and instead just messaging "£10?" as if that's a way to say hello to someone or ask for a favour. "I want my money back sned me a return label" without a please or thank you, because (it eventually transpired) they bought an item that they already had is also apparently perfectly reasonable in this world.

I've had one guy demanding that I photograph EVERY page of brand new 42-page videogame manual "because I'm a collector" (and therefore I should work for him for free to potentially make a £20 sale, I guess?) before calling me a scammer and accusing me of trying to hide something because I wouldn't do it. Didn't even say please. Another asked me to disassemble an £8 (with free shipping) memory card - "because I'm a collector" - and photograph the inside of it. Again, no "hello" and no "please." Just a demand.

Was told very rudely last week that "you clearly don't care and don't put in any effort" when it comes to packing items, for the simple reason that I don't include hard acrylic collectors' cases (which cost £10 a pop) with my items. Not that I have ever once advertised that I did, the £30 item was never photographed with or near a collectors' case, or that I've had a single other complaint about packaging, ever. Didn't want to send the item back at my expense for a full refund. Wouldn't provide any pictures of the apparent "damage" on the item. Just wanted to send a rude message.

Or how about the guy who sent a demanding 2,400 word document (complete with hand-drawn diagrams) - I swear I'm not exaggerating - to show us how to "correctly" package the £50 item he had just purchased. The diagrams even told us how to tape the box, where to buy the exact boxes and tape, and how many strips of tape to use. Pre-threatened to return the item if it wasn't packaged exactly to his specifications, regardless of the condition in which the item arrived. We sent it out the same way we send everything else (which is nothing like he asked) and he left us positive feedback for following his instructions to the letter. Work that one out!

And let's not forget the less-demanding but equally as sweet checkout notes such as "MAKE SURE YOU PACK IT SO IT DOESN'T GET DAMAGED IN THE POST I AM A COLLECTOR" that occur on a good 20% of our sales. As if that message would make ANY difference to somebody who wasn't going to pack the item well anyway. I love the pre-accusation that I'm a cowboy who is going to just throw the item in an old Tesco bag and stick a postage label on it. Makes me feel good. 🤣

This is all since the start of December. To clarify, the large majority of our customers are absolute diamonds, but collectors are as much of a mixed bag as anybody else. Certainly in my niche.

Rant over. Man, I feel better now. 🤣

[the-nutwood-collection]

You videogame manual person reminded me of an eBay listing I saw for a craft magazine from a seller that specialised in vintage craft publications.    

The description listed the articles featured in the listed magazine.  At the end, all in bold capitals, was the following: 'No, I will not send you a photocopy of the article you're interested in so that you can make sure it's what you want.  Nor can you come to my house and read though the magazines to the select the ones you want.  Do not ask me.  I'm a business, not a library'.

That was one ticked off seller!

[kath3735_wxmjn]

THANK YOU!  I shall do that the next time i have one, not sure why i did not ask on here first...

[selective_distribution]

I had to thank you for the laugh. As reguards your last point, some customers are suspicious to the point of being rude and aggressive. I have had a few of those `Make sure that you pack it .........` messages, even giving me instructions as to the method of packing required. As a seller of Vinyl records I had a customer last week quite aggressively message me asking for MORE photos of the item, I had to point out to him that there were already good clear pictures of the FRONT cover, the BACK cover, the INSERT, the INNER COVER, the RECORD LABEL, and the VINYL! And what other pictures was he actually wanting? A picture of the vinyl would not indicate that the record would play, but the description of `Excellent condition`, plus the 30 day money back guarantee would indicate that all is well. And this was not even an expensive item. Sellers just don`t have the time to deal with this stuff.

[superchallenge]

Haha, gotta love it when they do that. I had someone do the same with a CD-based game a week or two ago. Had photos of all sides of the case, the front of the disc, and the manual. But he wanted shots of the reflective side of the CD, photographed in a dark room, with the camera flash on, at 200 ISO with a shutter speed of 1/60.

Needless to say, it did not photograph well at those settings, what with it being...well...a mirror.

(Just bought a couple records off you this morning, incidentally 😁 )