Threads Morphing into Bullying

[kiss*my*pixel]

Okay - some of you may know me, others won’t. I don’t post as often these days as I would like.

Here is one of the reasons. Bullying, pure and simple.

I have popped in during the last few days, and yet again I can see certain posters ganging up and attempting to bully others into submission.

As I see it, this is a public forum. It is here for all to post a point of view. If anyone cares to disagree, then why can it not be done calmly, respectfully and with thought to a person’s feelings? A bit like real life. I have friends of long standing, whose views I don’t always agree with (and vice versa). We are still able to exchange views without things getting personal, aggressive and downright rude.

A few threads I have read over the last few days appear (in my small, limited mind) to have morphed into bullying, and quite frankly, it is not very comfortable to read.

If you don’t agree with another poster’s view, then why is it not possible to just say so nicely - rather than resort to ridicule and name-calling. None of us ever always agrees with another's point of view. That's life!

This behaviour is not pleasant, and is putting me off from posting (can’t speak for others, of course, this is just my feeling). 😐

[lovelyarse]

:^O so she's calming down ,thats good news.

[upthecreekyetagain]

Many of my posts can probably be called "nit picking" but it really annoys me when I see claims being made that are without foundation or are used in such a way as to generate hostility towards a particular group.

As for "bullying" I have always made it a principle to attack the posts I don't agree with and not the poster who made those posts - sometimes I have broken that rule where personal attacks have been made against me, for that I apologise.

I seem to have attracted my own personal troll or trolls, both on and off this board, that only seems to surface when I disagree with another individuals views.  Yes I should ignore them but I've grown to quite enjoy the on-board exchanges as all they are doing is making fools of themselves - the emails on the other hand have been vile and offensive.

[bidder.17]

Yes I should ignore them but I've grown to quite enjoy the on-board exchanges

To be honest I find many of your posts self-indulgent and they tend to end threads. This may be to your satisfaction, but that is rather self-centred as it simply spoils many threads to the point where it's no longer worth others posting on it.

[upthecreekyetagain]

Not quite sure what you mean by "self-indulgent" - if you mean I should just ignore personal insults then I agree but sometimes it is difficult to do so.

[bidder.17]

I could be more specific, but I doubt whether you would wish to hear it or take it on board.

The OP has said what puts her off, what put'sme off is nit picking for the sake of it, and those who think the board is solely about them and their needs.

The remarks I saw were your average disagreement, you could just agree to differ, but you seem to have a knack or desire to lead threads up a cul-de-sac, so rendering them  inaccessible  for others.

You have made a few personal remarks in your post at 21.

I think some ought to review their posting and realise the board is there for all, and not just a personal plaything for a few.

[upthecreekyetagain]

In response all I can say is that I post on this board because I enjoy doing so.  Presumably others do so for the same reason.

Should I change my style of posting? - well if it were an information board like the old Q&A then I'd probably agree but it isn't - it is a general discussion board and as long as my posts don't break the BUP nor the UA I see no reason to do so.

I would most certainly dispute any claim that I have taken part in any bullying such as the OP dislikes.

[bidder.17]

It's not Q&A , which I recall with some fondness, but that isn't the point is it?

I am sure you don't see any reason to do so, and that is part of the problem.

I haven't seen any bullying recently, so I don't share the same view as the OP on that.

If it's a reference to your recent exchanges then i'm afraid that is in part down to you.

[upthecreekyetagain]

I am sure you don't see any reason to do so, and that is part of the problem.

And that is where I fundamentally disagree with you - if a post complies with the BUP and the poster complies with the UA how can that be a problem.

I haven't seen any bullying recently, so I don't share the same view as the OP on that.

In which case are you not doing exactly what I have been accused of - diverting a thread rather than addressing the subject of the OP ?:|

[bidder.17]

Do you really wish to labour every point ?

Simple, thread about living on £53 pounds a week was quite interesting, informative, and unlike the usual examples a bit of a change, until that is it got hijacked, as happens frequently with some. It isn't anymore, but then some consider only their own needs.

No, because I disagree with it, and as you pointed out, it's not Q&A or SC

[upthecreekyetagain]

Time to end this diversion I think -goodnight 😄

[right-then-petal]

goodnight Creeky 😄

[merehazle]

#10 Mr X...

Looking closely at this thread so far. I find this thread more ''informative'' than ''amusing''.

Yes PIX, an excellent thread.

How's bidder, and babs?  long time no see.

[kiss*my*pixel]

In response all I can say is that I post on this board because I enjoy doing so.  Presumably others do so for the same reason.

Should I change my style of posting? - well if it were an information board like the old Q&A then I'd probably agree but it isn't - it is a general discussion board and as long as my posts don't break the BUP nor the UA I see no reason to do so.

I would most certainly dispute any claim that I have taken part in any bullying such as the OP dislikes.

For the record, I don't think Creeky is the perpetrator of the offence I had in mind and I do hope no-one has taken that from my OP. (In fact, if anything, I would say from some threads I've observed, he has actually been on the receiving end of some of the bullying). Sorry if I'm being presumptive, Creeky, and you may not agree with me!! 

Creeky makes a lot of valid points, argues well, sometimes I agree with him, sometimes not (and I don't mean to sound condescending there, so sorry if it comes across that way). He manages to make his points without relying on personal insults, and also injects some humour. Creeky is simply very good at arguing! 🙂

I actually had others in mind, but clearly I'm not going to mention names.

Just one other thing, I've also been accused of self-indulgence in the past. Again, that is not intended, it's just sometimes it seems necessary to provide a tale of personal experience to be able to demonstrate that you are not spouting from the top of your head.

Again, I'll reiterate, most people on here are lovely and it's great to chat with you all. Just a couple of not so lovelies who try to make trouble for others where it's not necessary.

It's nice to see different viewpoints from everyone as well! 😄

In short, I think this should be a nice board where everyone can express a view but not get nasty!! 

Have a nice day, everyone :-x :^O

[*.*..lola..*.*]

Yes I should ignore them but I've grown to quite enjoy the on-board exchanges

Clearly

[bidder.17]

I don't wrap children in cotton wool, so I am not about to do so with adults.

If posters willing engage in some juvenile tennis match, and then claim they enjoy the exchanges, they are more likely in my experience to be perpetrator than victim. If you willingly engage and claim you enjoy it, that is not a victim.

[spawnjohnuk]

In response all I can say is that I post on this board because I enjoy doing so.  Presumably others do so for the same reason.

Should I change my style of posting? - well if it were an information board like the old Q&A then I'd probably agree but it isn't - it is a general discussion board and as long as my posts don't break the BUP nor the UA I see no reason to do so.

I would most certainly dispute any claim that I have taken part in any bullying such as the OP dislikes.

Hi creeky ,I really didnt want to join in this but just wanted to say a couple of things .. 

creeky, you always get the discussions going imo not as others feel and end them,The style is excellent and pick up on the inbetweens and these are what make a discussion rather than a row or simply a hardened immovable one view vs another.

I have never seen you insult someone and have only seen you make a few reaction posts to what I would call hounding and sometimes personal attacks ..no way can I be so restrained in the same situation,a credit to you. Banks and others are very similar (not going into my fav poster rant lol)

I dont agree with anyone who uses personal to try and win arguments even though I am 100% agreeing with the point of view.

Hope I'm not one of those you mean pixel as if so it's unintentional .

[shaun6660_7]

when I first ventured into this place I was made very welcome - I had 'discussions' with many of the regulars and the banter was extremely funny and done with mutual respect. I enjoyed visiting regularly and soon found likeminded posters but for some reason there was an influx of trolls and I became a target which I could handle until one particular person made it her goal to twist every one of my posts and was extremely nasty and personal - I eventually gave up posting altogether and although I missed the banter I stayed away simply to avoid conflict. had this happened in real life I would have been able to deal with it in my own way but on here you are very limited in your actions. I can honestly say that I was bullied into submission and it was not a nice experience. as long as these people are allowed to carry on regardless and without penalty they will continue until the RT is dead and buried. RIP 😞

[mr-expresso]

#10 Mr X...

Looking closely at this thread so far. I find this thread more ''informative'' than ''amusing''.

One trait that I find as bad as bullying ...is jealousy.... Now that is one nasty emotion...

Take it from me there are one or two jealous/envious  posters on this forum...

Perhaps they should practice Buddhism....

Apparently if you underline it has more meaning....;-)

[merehazle]

One trait that I find as bad as bullying ...is jealousy.... Now that is one nasty emotion...

Take it from me there are one or two jealous/envious  posters on this forum...

Perhaps they should practice Buddhism....

Apparently if you underline it has more meaning....;-)

😄  Perhaps if you underline it it has LESS meaning 😉

😄  Some might be jealous/envious? Of you perhaps???  Where?  

😄  Perhaps they should practice what they wish as you are bringing religion in to it ...wonder why?

Hi, shaun 😉  #36.  Do you remember smocky?

[kiss*my*pixel]

when I first ventured into this place I was made very welcome - I had 'discussions' with many of the regulars and the banter was extremely funny and done with mutual respect. I enjoyed visiting regularly and soon found likeminded posters but for some reason there was an influx of trolls and I became a target which I could handle until one particular person made it her goal to twist every one of my posts and was extremely nasty and personal - I eventually gave up posting altogether and although I missed the banter I stayed away simply to avoid conflict. had this happened in real life I would have been able to deal with it in my own way but on here you are very limited in your actions. I can honestly say that I was bullied into submission and it was not a nice experience. as long as these people are allowed to carry on regardless and without penalty they will continue until the RT is dead and buried. RIP 😞

Hi Shaun - welcome back!! It is such a shame, for you to have felt that way. I do hope you feel able to participate once more, I'm sure many posters would like to see you back!

Could I ask - are you the Shaun who was looking for a missing friend in the Cornwall(?) area about a year or so ago? If so, I often wondered how you got on (I've never been a very regular poster). Did you find him?

(No, Spawny, it's not you - you're safe :^O ) I wasn't trying to single out anyone in particular, just an observation from several threads, that's all. Seems to have stirred up some feelings, though . . . 🙂