09-04-2013 4:53 PM
Okay - some of you may know me, others won’t. I don’t post as often these days as I would like.
Here is one of the reasons. Bullying, pure and simple.
I have popped in during the last few days, and yet again I can see certain posters ganging up and attempting to bully others into submission.
As I see it, this is a public forum. It is here for all to post a point of view. If anyone cares to disagree, then why can it not be done calmly, respectfully and with thought to a person’s feelings? A bit like real life. I have friends of long standing, whose views I don’t always agree with (and vice versa). We are still able to exchange views without things getting personal, aggressive and downright rude.
A few threads I have read over the last few days appear (in my small, limited mind) to have morphed into bullying, and quite frankly, it is not very comfortable to read.
If you don’t agree with another poster’s view, then why is it not possible to just say so nicely - rather than resort to ridicule and name-calling. None of us ever always agrees with another's point of view. That's life!
This behaviour is not pleasant, and is putting me off from posting (can’t speak for others, of course, this is just my feeling). 😐
09-04-2013 6:53 PM
hi kiss, i do hope i can call you that. for the few years i have posted on this particular so called adult forumi to have seen the same. take stevie blunder for an instance (sorry stevie) but just about every post he makes, in come the vultures to peck at him. others i notice call you leftie if you disagree with them, and others also get so upset when you dont agree with them. as far as i am concerned every one has a right to post (within e-bay rules) whatever they belive in on whatever subject, every one has the right to post an alternative argument against another posters views without said person spitting out their dummy and preaching their ways and thoughts as the only ones viable, to bully a person imho tells me the bully has lost the argument, and the same imho goes for the name callers.
09-04-2013 7:06 PM
Never a truer word written Pix and well done for taking the time and trouble to say what we a lot of us all think! :-x
09-04-2013 7:20 PM
Totally agree.
09-04-2013 7:25 PM
09-04-2013 7:34 PM
You don't have to answer the bullies you can ignore them!! which I've found to be the best way of dealing with them, It's always been the same on here, for as long as I can remember.
If I want to comment on a subject I will, I don't bother if people choose to ignore what I've said, that's good for me, then I don't have to get into arguments.:-D
I can't mention names on here but there was a poster who suffered with depression who was forced off the board by bullying, he asked his tormentor to 'Bury The Hatchet' BUT NO, and in the end the person stopped posting, and that was all through one VERY vindictive person.
09-04-2013 7:55 PM
Hello Barbara - that is such a shame!
Thankfully, I've not personally been the recipient of such treatment (although have been the target of several posts being reported, Ho Hum, not important). This is just what I've observed from some threads over a period of time, a couple of posters seem to have a personal vendetta against others. It would just be nice if sensible people could engage in sensible debate without resorting to personal insult. In an ideal world, there would be world peace too!! 😄
09-04-2013 8:00 PM
Strangely Pixel, I was thinking something very similar yesterday when I popped in to catch up on a thread I've been posting on and was disappointed to see that it had gone the exact same way that a lot of other threads on here seem to go these days.
I'm not sure if the particular instances I'm thinking of could be classed as 'bullying' or 'ganging up' exactly as to me, they look very much like a case of six of one and half a dozen of the other to be perfectly honest
I'm all for someone playing devils advocate now and again to liven up a debate but it's getting really boring now especially when interesting threads are being derailed because of all the irrelevant nitpicking and posturing.
Anyone who posts to threads to be deliberately argumentative, shouldn't be too surprised if they end up getting in to lots of arguments I suppose.
09-04-2013 8:11 PM
I agree, Lola - there are certainly some posters who seem to argue just for the sake of it. Bullying, ganging up - it's all the same. Kills the threads, 'cos lots of peeps simply drift away once it starts. It is such a shame - this used to be a friendly (sometimes lively), but mostly friendly board, with some really lovely posters (some lovelies are still left, of course) but it is sad that some just seem hellbent on causing conflict where it is not necessary (and not even to do with the subject in hand, just some hidden personal vendetta).
09-04-2013 8:16 PM
09-04-2013 8:25 PM
Hi...
Here is my view...
It is not the 'bullies'... ( Sticks and stone..etc etc... ) that have killed this particular forum... it is a certain few who for some strange reason they it is 'their forum'..
They report every post they do not agree with.. try and have the slightest bit of fun and they report...
THAT is why people stop posting on here... Give it a few months and it will be down to 6 or 7 regular posters... and even now they know who they will be...
i find it sad and amusing in equal measure...
09-04-2013 8:36 PM
Agree with what you've said Pixel.
How you doing 🙂
09-04-2013 8:38 PM
It rather depends as they say.
Looking back over a long period of ebay boards, quite a number were far more combative a few years ago - something, some posters I have seen, appear to miss
By comparison todays boards are far more sedate.
Can't say I have seen much bullying or ganging up recently, just a few regulars indulging themselves, but I take post 7 's point in the need for some to want to argue and nit pick on every thread just for the sake of it, it just ends threads that might have been more interesting.
Someone once described what they call the Rose West principle applying to forums. That being that if Rose West were posting regularly, she would in some posters eyes, be innocent regardless of evidence or conviction, simply by being a regular poster. Funny how some forums and posters act, just to post.
Some regular posters do think it is their forum, with their rules, and that i'm afraid goes to the heart of the matter, and has done for a long time. What you see now is partly the result.
09-04-2013 8:40 PM
Well, I agree to an extent Mr Ex - that is part of it. I have contributed to a thread on FH&G about malicious reporting (strangely, out of everyone who contributed to that thread I was the only one who received yet another slap)
However, there are some threads on here that when I see a particular poster has posted I just think "Oh, no - here we go again" and this is possibly more annoying - certain people hijacking threads and attacking other posters simply because they have a hidden agenda. Again, I've not been personally involved in that, but it is really irritating - as Lola said above, it is just posturing and vying for position.
Anyway - I'm going to say 'nighty night for now, I have to put the rabbits away before Mr Fox comes out to play and clear the kitchen. Thanks for views on the thread, everyone. Sleep tight
Pixel x
09-04-2013 8:42 PM
09-04-2013 8:43 PM
09-04-2013 8:47 PM
09-04-2013 8:50 PM
I'm fine thanks Pix hows your daughter?
09-04-2013 8:55 PM
09-04-2013 8:57 PM
She's fine thx - how lovely of you to remember!! She's in Australia at the mo, just been to Thailand for five weeks. Done some wonderful things, sky-diving, surfing, cuddling various creatures, asked for lots of money 'cos she ran out a few times :_| Hopefully she'll be a bit more grown up and appreciative when she comes home - she's certainly calmed down a lot since you and I last chatted! Teenage years - sigh! Hope life is well with you too. I will come back later, must put the rabbits away, we have a particularly nasty and persistent fox around at the mo, who won't run away even when he's chased, I've had several stand-offs with him, little so-and-so! x x x