Ridiculous return process by Power Seller. The best!

[bunny--boiler]

I queried an item I received but was not worth my time returning for £4.

The seller responded with this...

The FREE return procedure is as follows :
Put the item back into the Envelope ( in which you have received it ) with a short note describing your problem and Reseal it.
Cross out your address and Circle the Sender Address.
Also Write ( RETURN TO SENDER ) on the Top of the Envelope.
Drop it in the nearby Post Box.
(As no need to use a new Stamp or go to the Post office. )

You couldn't make it up lol.

[cee-dee]

How about this?:-

A chap buys two items for about £29, one of which is quite long. The long item was faulty. The seller asks the buyer if he'd accept £15 and keep the items.

Buyer (not me BTW) says no, he wants to send it back for a refund. OK, seller sends a return label. Buyer packs the item, puts the return label on it and takes the package to the Post Office.

"Ah, you can't use that label with that item, it's too long.".

Buyer contacts the seller, seller doesn't respond. Buyer phones the seller, seller wants him to accept £15 and be done with it. Buyer says no and wants more. Seller says he'd be losing money then and won't take any further action except "send it back" and won't comment on the label fiasco.

It seems obvious that the seller's trying to wangle out of it by sending the wrong label hoping the transaction will get out of time and the buyer can't get an ebay refund unless that label is used. Sooooo, guess what the buyer does?

He folds the item in half, packs it up and uses the label. Package is now short enough and the Post Office accepts it. Ebay knows the label has been used and issues a full refund. Not a word from the seller!!!!!

[jd.linklater]

It would be interesting to know what the item was that he folded in half

[cee-dee]

Guess? It was three feet long!

[jd.linklater]

A poster in a tube?

[cee-dee]

Nah. Plumbers sometimes use one.....

[right-then-petal]

[cee-dee]

Nah Petal, ya can't fold those in half.

[jd.linklater]

Drain rods?

[cee-dee]

Nah, it was made of Aluminium.

[jd.linklater]

A prosthetic limb?

[cee-dee]

Do you know many plumbers with such a limb? I suppose you'll continue down the same road if I say old ones used to be made of wood?

Hmmm, concentrating on the item rather than the sellers attempts to get out of giving a refund?

[jd.linklater]

I was just trying to ascertain whether he'd destroyed the item by bending it in half. If so, I think the seller has a right to feel aggrieved especially as a refund has now been issued.

[cee-dee]

Well the issue was that the buyer found the item was faulty, it could not be used for the purpose intended. When asked for a refund, he tried to get out of it by offering only a partial refund. When the buyer refused as the item was of no use, the seller knew full well what he was doing by sending an ebay return label that he knew would be refused by the PO as the length was over the limit for that class of postage. The seller knew that ebay wouldn't issue a refund if that label wasn't used, the system would show that the item hadn't been returned and that would mean the seller then had the item back and would keep the money. The seller avoided answering queries about the label and return postage and it became clear he (the seller) was stalling for time hoping the issue would drag on to the point where the transaction was out of time.

That being so, the buyer felt most aggrieved so with no further response from the seller, he took the only action he felt appropriate and used the label issued.

[jd.linklater]

So what was it?

[cee-dee]

I thought you'd have guessed by now? I thought you'd have cottoned what long things a plumber sometimes used (but a builder, more so) which used to be made of wood but are mostly aluminium these days?

[bunny--boiler]

[jd.linklater]

I'd already thought of a spirit level but how could it possibly be unfit for purpose? And more to the point how the hell would you bend it in half?

[cee-dee]

Why didn't you say so?

The buyer used it to level a pipe run, thought it looked a bit skew-whiff, tried the "level" the other way round and sure enough it was out of true.

Easy enough to bend if you're strong enough?

[jd.linklater]

Don't know why anyone would need a spirit level for pipework other than to mark a rough line on the wall, what he bought would have been plenty acccurate enough for that. Plumbing pipework for washing machines etc generally have a run of 1/4 inch per foot, so if for instance you were using a 4ft length you'd mark a line at one end an inch lower than the other. Job done.