Punography ... It's fun - I'll start!!

[ronnybabes]

You've all heard some of them, now let's put them all down... 😄

I changed my iPod name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.

I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

[right-then-petal]

:^O i thought you misspelled the title

[stan3502]

 Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

[ronnybabes]

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

· PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

· Why were the Indians in the USA  first?  They had reservations.

· Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

· The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

[jimbo1lee]

You can't get pain killers in the jungle, because the parrots eat em all.

A man is incomplete until he's married,- then he's finished.

What is the longest sentence in the English language,? ---- "I DO"

[ronnybabes]

· What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.

· I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

· Velcro - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

· Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

· I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

[renomarvinm]

How about the Blind Hungarian Vampire!  He couldn't see what he was biting, and the only thing that didn't get out of his way was religious statues.  So he bit them!  Yessss, he was a real Buddha Pest.....

[geographically*challenged]

 Should you ever need an ark, I Noah guy.

 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.

 Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

 The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

[mr-expresso]

I bought 8 venison thighs for £25...... is that too dear?

[ronnie-dog]

..............tip toes back out of thread

*must put glasses on before opening threads*

:^O