Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[margaret*e]

Caution, you need the youngest person you know to sort these things out.:^O

[bill-xxx]

Caution, you need the youngest person you know to sort these things out.:^O

Like my grandchildren ~ tech wizards! :^O

[margaret*e]

A I tell my daughter when I've asked the same thing for the thousandth time we weren't brought up with these things.:-D

And her buying a t shirt saying I'm not fixing your computerX-(isn't going to stop me asking her.:^O

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Caution, you need the youngest person you know to sort these things out.:^O

:^O  That's true.

Honestly, I go into a shop like Curry's these days, and I don't recognise most of the things they have for sale.  😐  Irons and kettles are, obviously within my remit, but once I have strolled into the technology bit, I am stumped.  I think they should run tours for people like me, going up and down each aisle, explaining what everything does.  Who knows, maybe I need some of this stuff.  I might even buy something. 😛

[tommy.irene]

[bill-xxx]

Good morn...afternoon 🙂

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Afternoon, Bill. 😄

Blowing a gale here again.  😐

[bill-xxx]

Hi Caution 😄

Same here. Was terrible during the night too. But the night before, the gales blew down five Vodaphone masts in this area. 😮

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

😮

That will interrupt signal coverage.

[bill-xxx]

Can you see what the arrow is pointing at in the Bar restaurant?

Scroll down...:-)

This...:-D

[ernstkleeman1]

Crickey, this is a long thread.

It seems very welcoming too.

[absolutemarket]

Are you looking for a band for the bar?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x32ssPkRC_E&context=C3b9a87bADOEgsToPDskI00Zk4BeXQmb6pXHG7bhMg

I only can find one minute of this.

This girl has just recorded an 4 track ep,no record deal so far.

I heard the other 3 sings on radio and their better.

I bet she will be worldwide in one year.

Her name is

SHAEFRI

Don’t say I did not tell you.

[bill-xxx]

Crickey, this is a long thread.

It seems very welcoming too.

Hi ~ drop in anytime.  Join the club! 😄

[bill-xxx]

Are you looking for a band for the bar?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x32ssPkRC_E&context=C3b9a87bADOEgsToPDskI00Zk4BeXQmb6pXHG7bhMg

I only can find one minute of this.

This girl has just recorded an 4 track ep,no record deal so far.

I heard the other 3 sings on radio and their better.

I bet she will be worldwide in one year.

Her name is

SHAEFRI

Don’t say I did not tell you.

Hi

Yes, I like the group and they could play at the Bar anytime. Thanks for putting in on ~ drop in anytime 🙂

[cee-dee]

Bill looks over his crowded bar and sees a gorgeous young lady sitting on her own looking sad so he walks over and asks "Hi, you're all on your own looking sad, are you OK?"

The girl looks up and shouts at the top of her voice "NO, I won't sleep with you tonight."

Bill's a bit embarrassed in front of all his customers so he goes back behind the bar, blushing.

The girl gets up, walks over, smiles sweetly and says "I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

Bill responds by shouting "WHAT, two hundred quid, no way".

[bill-xxx]

Why is CD like a UFO?

Because you don’t know where he comes from, what his mission is, or what time he is going to take orf.  😄

[cee-dee]

A chap walked up to the bar and asked Bill for a pint of Lager and a double Scotch. He knocked them back quickly then asked for the same again.

After knocking them back quickly again he says "I shouldn't be drinking like this with what I've got".

"Why" asked Bill "what have you got?"

"About 50p" the bloke replied.

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

:^O

Are you OK, Bill?  You have gone terribly pale and twitchy.

[bill-xxx]

:^O

Are you OK, Bill?  You have gone terribly pale and twitchy.

:^O

Pale? Twitchy? I collapsed! :_|

The business will go down the drain where our beer comes from at this rate  😮

Orf to find another CD joke >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> :^O

[bill-xxx]

By now, everyone has heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as Area 51. Late one afternoon, the Air Force folk out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. But security guards immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled CD, the pilot, into an interrogation room.

CD's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on him and held him overnight during their investigation. But CD had seen extraterrestrial 'UFOs' lined up at the base and had to be sworn to secrecy.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that CD really had got lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying 'you-did-not-see-a-base or any UFOs' briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him, Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the guards surrounded the plane, only this time there were two people in the plane.
CD jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but Bill is in the plane with me and you have to tell him that UFOs don't exist ~ pleeeeease?!"  😄

pfffft! 😛 :^O