Book titles - any more ideas?

[onemorewonthurt]

Elf hypnosis by Si Cologist

[littleme61_6]

Enjoy Eating Your Dinner By Chris P. Chipps

[lindum-49]

Laughter From A Simple Joke By Ken Youtellone

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbour that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. 

She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. 

She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

[littleme61_6]

How To Finally Understand The Problem By Penny Dropped

[lindum-49]

The Russians Are Coming So Let's Party Somewhere By Ivan Ideer

[lindum-49]

How To Make A Useful Donation By Poppy Seller

[lindum-49]

Collecting Car Numbers Is Illegal By Reg Plates

[littleme61_6]

Enjoying Wildlife While on Safari By Ellie Phant

[lindum-49]

The Mysterious Case Of The Motorway Patrol Car That Just Disappeared By Emma Won

...raining in Surreyshire.......no mowing or leaf raking today....

[lindum-49]

Removing The Exit Signs In Tesco's Car Park Cuases Havoc For OAP'S By Anne Noyingkid

[littleme61_6]

It was raining in Lancashire, then some sun arrived.  

Perfect Decorating at Home By Matt Paynt

[vanjim50]

Back Again,Gone Again,Back Again. By Minnie Victory

Richard,my old friend.Ihave just trawled back to post 9820 and i am so sorry for your loss.The girls are supposed to outlive the boys ,but when they don't,it is such a shock.You have good family,old chum.Use them often and wisely.

Constant battle with the weight and have just dropped into the Type 2  category.It has been the kick up the a**e i needed and have lost weight nicely since.Long,long way to go but inspired to carry on.Doc reckons a controlled diet will be the best treatment for me and is hopeful i can crack it.All mowers sold and my new hobby is my AJS Model 14 motorbike from 1960.Rode it a magnificent 6 miles this summer,Steady boy!!Knees are a problem but hope carrying less tonnage will improve my walking.Both kids now at University.Abbie studying philosophy and religion (who knew??)at Bangor and George doing computer sciences at De Montford in Leicester.Both come home to see us regularly(free food and laundry)so weekdays quiet and some weekends a little rowdier.Wouldn't change it.Onward......

[littleme61_6]

Putting Petrol In Your Car Tank By Phil Itt

[lindum-49]

Landscaping: Green Side Up By Lorne Mower

Thanks for your words Jimbo and nice to hear from you again. We have come to terms with our loss but haven't got over the shock, so sudden and no warning. Surprised her as well I should imagine. Big hole in our lives still.............. and I have had to learn to cook!

Funny this bit - you and me being like minded - I have just sold my 2012 Harley Davidson Super Low having taking a rusty riders course to learn to ride it last year after 40 years out of the saddle! Passed with colours of course, but traffic so much different than yesteryear. Lovely bike in heritage paintwork, have always wanted one since seeing one back in 1959 at the motorbike show in London with the scouts. Couldn't find a buddy to ride with though and daughter worried about a 'hog on a hog' so said goodbye to it a few months ago. Now flogging the gear that cost a fortune for being overly large! Ho hum. Hence me taking up bowls. Playing for the club this weekend after being picked for the first time for the first team. Glad your kids are doing well, ology's eh. My daughter now in own house with partner, eldest son still here with me and youngest son renting with mates - Sunday lunch draws them home every now and again - at least I haven't killed anyone with my cooking....yet! Have already done a Christmas with all the chefing so looking forward to the challenge in a few weeks time. Baked spuds and corned beef on the sidelines if it all goes wrong! Like you must stop eating, have invested in a proper treadmill and now doing 3 miles a day on it for exercise. Seems to help along with bowls 4 times a week. HSBA1 levels down and maybe Dr will decrease the Metformin tablets soon. Apart from that, I have nothing to moan about...........but will find your phone number in the archives and surprise you...........yep, reverse the charges! Stay fit and welcome back electronic friend...........cheers, Ricardo the ex hog.

[lindum-49]

Winter Draws On By Jack Frost

....time for thermal undies and heated fleeces....

[littleme61_6]

... Earmuffs, scarves and bonnets. 

Making Lovely Jewellery By Pearl Neklass

[lindum-49]

How To Make Sparkling Christmas Tree Baubles By Crystal Drops

....crikey, soon be getting out the deckies and putting up the tree.............could be a theme here to follow?.........

[vanjim50]

Seven Weeks To Go by Chris Massey

I won't even consider Christmas until December 24th.Bonfire Night begins 2 weeks before November 5th,poppies are worn weeks before Remembrance Sunday .Christmas is at Christmas.Bah humbug!!!

[littleme61_6]

Packing and Pulling a Sleigh By Rudolf Raindear

[lindum-49]

Christmas Is Like Marmite? By Twiggy Letts

........so Jimbo, do you want to get put on the "Norty" list this year?............embrace the lead up to the big day like millions of us old kids did in our day........."it's a kind of magic"..............only time of the year when the shops seem to put on a show and brighten up the landscape...........you can still keep your hands clasped firmly round your wallet and loose change though..........he says smiling at that thought..........but yes events do seem to start early to get us customers parting with hard earned brass and pensions.........so donate your firework banger money to the Poppy appeal and wear your Poppy with pride...........(still writing out my list to Santa though Ho Ho Ho).

Rather chilly in Surreyshire at the moment........was -3c.........and if anybody wants some free leaves please make contact 🙂  

[lindum-49]

Coat Hangers, Tinsel & Sticky Back Plastic By Mustapha Go

........do you remember.....

making paper chains that broke when you put them up at home or school?

colouring in home made xmas cards?

hanging stockings at the foot of your bed 2 weeks before xmas?

writing thank you cards to the aunty and uncles after xmas lunch?

....no, me neither.