Who's Jesus?

[5129frederick]

A thief breaks into a church.  While he is unloading all the silver, he hears a voice screech out:

"I can see you, so can Jesus!"  He drops everything in terror and is about the run when he sees a parrot, perched on one of the crosses by the altar, and heaves a sigh of relief before laughing.

"I can see you, so can Jesus!" it continues to squalk.  

"And what's your name?"  he asks it, as he reverts back to his sinful deeds..

"My name is Lucifer, my name is Lucifer."  It replies.

"That's a funny name for a parrrot."  He replies.

"What about Jesus for a rotweiller?  I can see you, so can Jesus..."

[chickengrandma-2008]

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@ilove2patch wrote:

OMGS is a brand of American Candy. 

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That's only OMG's  not OMGS.

Like I said, it MUST stand for Onions Make Good Soup! 

That's as good as any! 

[****merlin*****]

i only like lentil soup

so do i need to go to LMGs?

[ed_blackadder_1]

😉

[chickengrandma-2008]

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@No, you need LMGS****merlin***** wrote:

i only like lentil soup

so do i need to go to LMGs?

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No, you need LMGS  not to be mistaken with LMGS (lettuce makes good soup) or LMGS (leeks make good soup).

[****merlin*****]

i'll stick to cheese 

i knows where i am with cheese

unless the christmas ninjas sneak fruit and weird things into it

[chickengrandma-2008]

Well just be careful HOW you say 'cheeses'.  Some people might think you're being blasphemous!

[****merlin*****]

i'm Scottish not Irish

[ilove2patch]

Watch out there's a BP about! 

[****merlin*****]

Sadly you dont surprise me Maggie

always the way when you dont agree with the fanatical

no wonder FHG has gone the way it has

you used to be able to debate and have a laugh

obviously not any more

[ginap.123]

As if we don't know who it is!

[****merlin*****]

divine intervention?

[evoman3957]

WHO'S JESUS..................I you asked somebody that question in Guatemala, they'd probably point you in the direction of the House belonging to the Head of the Local Drug Cartel.

[mouse4702]

One of the best things about Fred is that although he's a Christian, and sets out his stall so we all know, he never tries to convert us, or tell us we're wrong if we aren't Christians.  He's accepting of all us of different faiths on here, and he can take a joke and a difference of opinion with good grace. 

[ginap.123]

Do you think so?

[mouse4702]

I do, Gina.  He's got his opinions and I don't agree with all of them, but he doesn't give us the Christian hard sell on here.  There's another  occasional poster who wears their faith on their sleeve and attempts to link everything to God, but I haven't seen Fred do it.

[soppysofty]

Who's Jesus?

Well, if He is the same guy that I know then He is The Christ, The Son of The Living God.

[evoman3957]

Not to be argumentative of course, but that's what you've been TOLD / TAUGHT...............NOT what You KNOW !!

[bankhaunter]

I very much doubt there is a single Christian that actually follows all the reported words of Jesus.

Perhaps no bad thing because much of what he is supposed to have said was either poor advice or in some cases, incredibly stupid.

Don't worry about tomorrow. Don't save money, don't store food for the winter, don't plan for retirement... live for today and trust that God will make everything work out.

At one point he tells people to abide by the law and then proceeds to break it, he also believes in thought crime, to think you would like to kill someone is no different than actually doing it.

Jesus had no difficulty with the concept of slavery and since he was alongside God right from the beginning (John 1:1-14), he was there watching when, at God's instigation, the Israelites slaughtered their way through Canaan, so he obviously had no problem with mass murder either.

Probably a good thing that Jesus at best was no more than just one of many messianic preachers around at the time. I became an atheist when I realised that a belief in God simply didn't make any sense and the more I thought about it the less sense it made, just so many convoluted explanations to get round countless contradictions.

[chickengrandma-2008]

I tend to think at best it's just a load of 'chinese whisper' type stories that have been passed down through the generations.  Mainly to keep the lower classes and less educated  'in their place' and to manipulate people into doing as they're told for fear of some awful consequences that have been literally 'preached' at them.

[evoman3957]

It does tend to work best on those that have ( lets say ) a less questioning Mind.