BANNED from shopping :-) Hope this brings a smile to your day

[tintinthegingertomcat]

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

... Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

Dear Mrs. Woolf,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.

I wonder if I'll have to go along on many more shopping trips?

[leoleoleo123]

I saw this on facebook the other day.....

I don't know why, but I didn't find it funny at all..

[petitecalicocat]

Seen this  along time ago , still funny though:-D

[guardpig]

Shop in my big Asda and you would Leo.  Was so not happy when the woman who'd put the milk out had just shoved it anywhere it would go(and under a much cheaper price label) because she's been told to put it out but not where(and yes i had a few suggestions).  Stuff is just shoved anywhere where there is a gap in the shelves, which naturally is where they sold out the offers, and if there's no gap just abandoned in box, on floor or on pallet.  

[duck_a_lorange]

Stuff is just shoved anywhere where there is a gap in the shelves, which naturally is where they sold out the offers, and if there's no gap just abandoned in box, on floor or on pallet.  

Ah. (A lightbulb moment!) That would explain the state of my nearest Asda - which I hope never to have to visit again. I thought I could cope with shops, I don't even mind Ikea, but that place nearly gave me the screaming heebie-jeebies. 😐

[leoleoleo123]

well, for my sins, I work in the big orange supermarket..

[guardpig]

Ah. (A lightbulb moment!) That would explain the state of my nearest Asda - which I hope never to have to visit again. I thought I could cope with shops, I don't even mind Ikea, but that place nearly gave me the screaming heebie-jeebies. 😐

Ah yes but when I shop in Asda I tend to say very loudly over that inane radio thingie "This place is getting as bad as Tescos" and indeed it is.  I think a lot of the problem with Mr T is the total arrogance of the staff, their shop, you are only a customer, don't move MY trolley and I'm not moving it either so you can't buy Mayonnaise today, etc.  Asda used to be a lot better but recently I think the staff may have migrated.

 Apparently Morrisons are losing their market share - well I bet if they built a decent sized supermarket down here(instead of a decidedly small one), built it where it could be found(not in the middle of modern housing estate roundabout heaven) and changed the yucky green floor tiles they'd find we'd be queueing at the door.

Getting to the stage where lidl is so much a better experience and they tend to have the customer service of a mosquito..I have 2 Sainsbury, 1 Tesco, 2 Asda, 2 Lidl within 3 miles and go out to 5 and I'll add Aldi, Waitrose, another asda and the Morrisons I get lost looking for so I can certainly compare!.

[fishpieface]

I don't shop in Txxxco unless I really have to - we have three huge ones within five or six miles and they are all the same - staff don't seem to care two hoots, they never look spotlessly clean and there is no excuse for the extreme greed and attitude of Txxxco, trying to take over everything, everywhere.

Asda seems attract a certain type of shopper, more often than not huge, couldn't-care-less-how-they-look, mucky whingeing badly behaved children in tow, usually having to rush out for a fag break during their shop, along with half the staff!  I don't find the quality of their stuff that great either.

We've got a few Morri's down in the South now and they're ok for a change.

Sains has to be my favourite, probably 'cos I've always shopped there - tradition!  Also their stuff is alright and their shops always look clean and staff usually helpful and polite.

If places had indpendant supermarkets with good quality food etc, that would keep these biggies on their toes, but sadly any indpendants are no competition as they just can't keep up.

[mustard-tree]

I don`t get any of the problems.

I do my shopping online and the supermarket delivers it.

[captainbovine]

well I'm suprised by you guys who say T's staff are arrogant. I work for T's and we have customers who come from miles around to shop at ours.

You have to take into account that T's do not give a hoot about the staff anymore. They used to be a lot more tolerant and staff morale has plummeted:-(

We try our very best to be polite and helpful, and it is a two way street. When you have customers snarling at you from the start and being down right rude, it can be very trying.

You wouldn't believe the rudeness I had to put up with when I worked on checkouts.

It's a sad thing to say but people are not very tolerant of each other these days.

[leoleoleo123]

🙂

[guardpig]

well I'm suprised by you guys who say T's staff are arrogant. I work for T's and we have customers who come from miles around to shop at ours.

Maybe that is why they travel miles.  My Tesco is bad enough but the BIG one well.  Customer services replies:

The baby change toilet isn't open.  Yes it is.  No it's not, it's locked with a notice on.  Well it was supposed to be fixed last week, use the one upstairs.  I've just come down and I didn't see the one upstairs. When will it be fixed? How do I know it was supposed to be fixed last week.(now one could see the notice on the toilet door from the CS desk!!!!!!)

Can I have a trolley please.  You need a £1 coin.  I haven't got one and, as it's my first visit I didn't know I needed one.  Well if you give me a pound I'll give you a trolley.  I was hoping you might fetch me one.  You'll need to give me a pound.  And if I do you'll be fetch me a trolley.  No, you go fetch one yourself.  (I had just carried baby and changing bag to the trolley bay from the car(not far) couldn't get a trolley so had to walk into shop(a goodly way) then prat thought I was going to stagger back nearly to the car babe under arm, bag falling off shoulder and put a pound in the trolley - well i did just that. I staggered back to the car, loaded up and went to asda!

Did you know your trolleys don't take trolley tokens.  Of course they don't madam, we have just had new ones delivered and they are specially designed not to fit.  Hmm, I am off to Asda then.  She's been so proud that she had put one over on me!!!

Oh the big Mr T can be fun.  OH and daughter wince and hate going in there with me.

[mandymoosie]

CB I couldn't agree with you more 🙂

I have worked in retail all my life. I have also worked for Tesco on the checkouts and have worked in a very, very busy, fast moving catalogue shop "A" where I did a bit of everything.

Years ago working in retail was nice, a pleasant job, chatting with customers and the firm really looked after you well 🙂 I worked for Price Rights, remember them?? It, to this day, has to be the best job I've had in relation to job satisfaction, it was only a small store, as they all were back in the 70's, us staff were like a family and we liked our customers too 🙂

Sadly as CB has already said, the firms do not look after their staff very well now, in fact, the general store manager probably has no idea who you are 😐 The personal touch has gone, and they have the attitude that so long as you're getting the work done, that's all that matters. Obviously this has a major impact on staff morale, staff need to be happy and satisfied with their job and also need to feel appreciated, this just doesn't happen now, you are now just a payroll number 😞

CB is also absolutely right in what she has said about some of the customers that retail staff have to deal with day in, day out.

I wont even dare to mention the things I've been called by customers and the way I have been spoken too, you would be horrified 😞 What makes that situation far worse, is that you're expected to stand there and take that, there's no back up from management, you're supposed to stand there smiling sweetly while you are being verbally abused 😞

That is why I got the hell out of retail, I was just not prepared to be treated like that, I wouldn't for anything, ever consider going back into it either.

As has been said, it is a two way thing and there are problems on both sides 🙂

[stroppy*cow]

I used to like the Lakeland store at Castle Point, Bournemouth - they had a "man creche" - comfy sofas with radio, newspapers etc.

The staff in our local A*** are lovely, really go out of their way to be helpful.

[captainbovine]

moo's Moosie;-)

[10phizz]

I use the local large Co-op. Staff extremely helpful.....leave anything they are doing to escort you to the shell where asked for item is. ..........probably not as cheap as others but they are 8 and/or  14 miles away so by the time petrol and time are taken into consideration, hardly worth the effort...........oh and within the last 2 weeks have had TWO x £16.00 off coupons if I spend £80  at a time. Have redeemed one already............and I get me divi  ..........!!!!

and when on the rare occasion I venture into the vast Tresco  at Mansfield I see all those items I never usually see and come back loaded with sparrows kneecaps in aspic and the like  !!

[guardpig]

I used to like the Lakeland store at Castle Point, Bournemouth - they had a "man creche" - comfy sofas with radio, newspapers etc.

The staff in our local A*** are lovely, really go out of their way to be helpful.

Brilliant store that one. Just park male(s) on sofa with papers, remove cards from wallet and pick them up when you had shopped out.  A truly painless shopping experience for men. Rarely go there as we have problems finding it and absolutely hate the "shopping experience" of Castle Point itself.  Wet, windy and nowhere good to eat.

[mozart5255]

my local asda is lovely,  the staff are great and very helpful.  ( a certain kind of shopper indeed)   when i go shopping for monkey world in dorset,  they throw in free stuff,  keep back reduced fruit sand veg for me.  open up a special checkout to enable us to goi through easily.

they also go out of their way to order 100 coconuts for me.

i did manage to wind up Mori;s staff once.  well some of them ]:)

There was a kitchen roll that had an offer.    you bought one and then took the token off the wrapping and got another free that i spotted.

I bought one,  took it to the car,  whipped off the token and went back in ,  picked up another and took it to the checkout.   free packet of kitchen roll,  nuffin to pay.

back to car,  whipped of that token and back in.   you know where is is heading dont you ?:^O

chose another checkout and repeated this exercie until i had emptied the shelf and my car was piled high with kitchen rolls.

During the course of this keep fit exercise some of the check out staff laughed but i had stroppy remarks about havnt you got enough now,  to which i replied   oh no  theres stil some left.

[ilove2patch]

I like our Asda & the staff are very good. I have had no problems in Tesco but they are a bit dearer on the things I buy. I go shopping with a smile & I am polite & that is what I get back from shop staff. I expect they get fed up with miserable shoppers.;-)

[chickengrandma-2008]

I agree Maggie, not that I've actually been in the shop since just before Christmas, but I've always found the staff at Mr Ts pleasant and helpful.  Price-wise Maggie, I don't know if it's just for delivered groceries but just recently they've been giving a voucher for the difference in price if it would have been cheaper in any of the other big three stores.  They all do it now.  I've had a couple of refunds in the last month or so.:-D