A little joke to maybe cheer you up !

[dark_castle1]

A young lady calls her dad after midnight saying "Can you come and collect me as I have missed the last bus and it is pouring with rain" ?

Dad says "Of course I can ! Where are you ringing from" ?

Young lady says " From the top of my head right down to my knickers" !

Maybe this wee joke will only be a bit funny to Scots as ringing (wringing) means soaking wet in Scottish slang.

[5129frederick]

Hi ya,

Missed me or remembering me for all the wrong reasons?   Not the latter I hope!  I've mellowed with age. 

[merc1_clocks]

  Ach fred...I don't think you'll ever cahange 

[john.b74]

Hi everyone.

[ed_blackadder_1]

Afternoon

[dark_castle1]

I love it driving in the early hours of the morning merc when the roads are really quite with very little traffic, only a few of us delivery drivers either trying to get to deliveries or having overnighted in some layby moving again trying to get home. Views like that make it all worth while and I get to see some spectacular views with different lighting from normal people who are in bed when I see them.

[5129frederick]

I knew somebody who sold holiday homes in Spain where time-wise every second counted.  It was during the early sixties where you'd have "Goods to declare/Nothing to declare" which you stuck to the inside of your front screen.  A seasoned traveller he knew the system inside out.  The world and his uncle would stick the green badge "othing to declare" on the inside of their car and if four ferries all came in at the same time, you were in for a three hour wait.  Not this bloke - he was really smart!  He'd intentionally buy an extra bottle of brandy and prominantly stick the "Goods to declare" red sticker on his front screen.  All knew him by name.  On each occasion he was waved down and was on his way in ten minutes flat with handshakes all round.  He didn't even drink!  Very clever! 

[john.b74]

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce. The husband says nothing, he keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph. The wife speaks again. "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it." She says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are." Again the husband stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph. She pushes her luck. "I want the house." She says insistently. Up to 60 mph. "I want the car, too." She continues. 65mph. "And," she says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes her nervous, so she asks him, "Isn't ther anything you want?" The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need, " he says. "Oh, really," she inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles. "The airbag!"