How long are you likely to live?

[sir_arthur_strebe-grebling]

Most people underestimate how long they are likely to live so the government is considering providing estimates of average life expectancy - based on factors such as gender, where they live, whether they smoke and whether Labour ever gets another chance to ruin the country - to encourage them to save for their old age.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27062273

[joe_bloggs*]

A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through … Why change now?"

The man leaned forward and explained: "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

[5129frederick]

Good grief, that's the last thing I'd want to know !  I'm a pensioner - just.  I don't know how long I've got, but if I knew, it would take all the fun out of living.  God has given me a wonderful, wonderful life health-wise.  I've had a few wake-up calls, including a serious car smash, but by and large, I've had a good run for my money.  I just give humble thanks for every morning He wakes me, especially when I read of those who never made it.  If I'm going to go at 86 I don't want to know about it because I'd then plan for the final curtain and wind up waiting for God.  When I do go, I want to skid in sideways, brandy in one hand, pork pie in the other, and say: "Man, that was one heck of a life you gave me.  Thank you."  

Don't plan your death - plan your LIFE!

[saasher2012]

Good advise!. lol.

[al**bear]

In loads of places in the UK

60% of the Populace will NOT even reach retirement age

a shocking figure for a suppossed 1st World nation

[clifford2031]

Love this Japanese Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[upthecreekyetagain]

---

@al**bear wrote:

In loads of places in the UK

60% of the Populace will NOT even reach retirement age

a shocking figure for a suppossed 1st World nation

---

I agree Al but the improvement in life expectancy in general over the last 65 years or so makes a mockery of the current retirement age.

In 1948 the average man could expect to live for about 10 months after he retired - now it is more like 12 years.

[al**bear]

Creeky ,

The figure 60% is not a 'Historical' figure,

it was worked out for those in the poorest areas of the UK

For People born in 2005

[Anonymous]

[electric*mayhem*band]

'How long are you likely to live' ?

Until your metabolic processes are history ! Until you're off the twig, have kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible, that's how long you can expect to live.

[Anonymous]

LOL

[saasher2012]

Get on with living you die soon enough!