Etiquette in Speaking

[mustard-tree]

When speaking to someone and referring to another person, do you refer to the third party by the name you call them, or the name or title that the other person calls them.

I am talking about adults here, the way some people talk to young children is totally alien to me.

For example, I am talking to my 30 year old niece and asking about my brother.   Do I refer to him as "Your Dad", "My Brother" or his first name.

Regarding young children, why do parents and others always seem to refer to themselves by their name or title, instead of using the pronoun "I"

Surely, children learn by example, if you talk to them properly, they will learn to speak properly.
What is the point of baby talk?  Why not teach them to talk properly from the start.  They only have to learn twice.

I am not having a rant, these are just some observations.

[chickengrandma-2008]

I don't know if there's a 'proper' way, but I would, when speaking to my niece about my brother, ask her 'How is your father?'  just the same as I would if talking to my daughter and asking about my husband.  I wouldn't ask her, 'How is my husband?'   I'd ask 'How is your dad?'

I agree about talking to children, why teach them one thing and then teach them another later.  It just makes it more confusing for them.

[023mjc]

Baby talk makes them laugh, and a babies laugh is priceless. It never stopped either of mine from from nattering (properly) incessantly.

[wskneil]

Never bothered with baby talk with Onions which is probably why she sounds like a 30year old at times rather than a 3 1/2 year old!

As for your example I would probably say "Your Dad" . What I find odd being a southerner marooned in Yorkshire is the necessity for any member of someones family to be prefixed by "our" . As in " I was out shopping and met our Ray and our Shirley and they said our Bill ..... etc etc etc" !

[malacandran]

I never called my Father "Dad", or my Mother "Mum".

It was always "You".  

[stan3502]

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@malacandran wrote:

I never called my Father "Dad", or my Mother "Mum".

It was always "You".  

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then it is quite clear why you still to this day have no manners

[dark_castle1]

I always called my dad, dad and mum, mum, until I came home on leave once from the navy and dad told me it was time I called him by his name but still always called mum, mum. Sadly both now gone a long time.

Even to this day I call my uncle Jim, uncle Jim and I am 61 this year.

[wskneil]

My mum and dad were mum and dad until the days they died. Anyone could have been Joan and Don, but only they could be mum and dad

[rainydaywoman11]

I thin you are wind up merchant Mal pal - it's not etiquette you need - it's a psychologist. 

[harrydog10]

Perhaps they should have washed your mouth out with soap and water, then maybe you might have learnt some respect. 

[chickengrandma-2008]

Who changed the question?

It was, what do you call a third person, not what do you call your mum and dad!  😄

Ok, I know it's all 'conversation' but it just shows how Chinese whispers go round. 😉

[ed_blackadder_1]

Would call a third person mr mrs or miss, family would be mum dad auntie uncle gran granny nanny grandad gramps etc, cousins by christian name.

[chickengrandma-2008]

[malacandran]

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@rainydaywoman11 wrote:

I thin you are wind up merchant Mal pal - it's not etiquette you need - it's a psychologist. 

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The psychologists are no good. They can't cope with us Aspergers. We Aspies represent the future evolution of humankind.

We are rational, and don't muck about with emotional baby-talk like "Mummy" and "Daddy". If we want to discern a parental relationship, we label it in precise terms.   Such as "Mother" and "Father".  

And to avoid any sloppy ambiguity in addressing these persons, we prefer an all-purpose gender-neutral term, such as "You".

I think that sums it up.  At least, some people on here may understand.  I can see hints from certain posters, who may share a similar world-view

[mustard-tree]

I know what you mean WSK,  I have a friend in Lancashire who always prefixes her son`s name with "our"

Reminds me of that Dinah Dors sit com, with "Our Douglas"

[vamo48]

In the example given by the OP, I would most likely say "Your Dad";  however, when I speak about my OH to our grown-up children I am just as likely to use his first name.  They know who I mean!

In the case of baby talk, I have never had any patience with it.  I remember years ago when my eldest daughter was in her pushchair an elderly woman said to her "Look at the gee-gee!"  "It's a horse!" replied my daughter, who was no older than 2 at the time.

[leoleoleo123]

Malacandran. Oh, how I laughed!
The future of humankind? Soooo funny!
Delusions of grandeur ...