Boring tea time food thread that goes on and on and on and on and on.....

[ed_blackadder_1]

Speaking as a boring woman whose only pleasure in life is talking about food.

We are having homemade burgers with coleslaw, tomato, cheese slice, sliced gherkin tomato relish and splash of burger mustard.

[ilove2patch]

lol! I will be having Chicken Keiv with new potatoes & sweetcorn followed by gooseberries & ice cream. 

[**towery**]

pork chop, mashed tatties, green beans, carrots, pease, gravy

[chickengrandma-2008]

We had liver, kidney, new potatoes, garden peas, carrots, cauliflower, Yorkshire puds and gravy.

Now let's all get off our hubby's computers before he gets home from work, and tells us orf for not being in our rightful place, the kitchen!

Did you remember to put on that clean dress and comb your hair?  We wouldn't want him to wish he'd stayed in the office with his secretary, would we? 

[bitsnknots]

We had diced chicken in sauce, new potatoes and mushy peas.

You are definitely not boring ed.

[merc1_clocks]

I'm a good wee housewife, & knows me place...we had stovies & a selection of fresh veg...just the way my hubbie likes it 

[dairyview123]

wot the 'eck is stovies? we are from the souf unnno.........;)

We had 2 steak meals and a bottle of red for £16.99.....eating out gets boring too!

[stan3502]

All dressed prim and proper, hair and make-up done as I lovingly prepared ............... pizza and chips

sadly hubby stayed with the secretary at the office so I shared "my lot" with the hunky half clad mechanic ............. phwoarrrrrrrrrrr

[captainbovine]

gammon I did in the slow cooker last night, kale and carrots, leeks and mashed tatties. Rather jolly good and I forgot to comb my hair

[stroppy*cow]

Cheese on toast

[malacandran]

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@stan3502 wrote:

All dressed prim and proper, hair and make-up done as I lovingly prepared ............... pizza and chips

sadly hubby stayed with the secretary at the office so I shared "my lot" with the hunky half clad mechanic ............. phwoarrrrrrrrrrr

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I salute your revenge - having it off with the mechanic!   But the mechanic probably went away, after his brief lust had been satiated.

You need to plan more carefully, if you want to keep a man on a long-term basis.

Bear in mind, woman, this essential fact:

Men are driven by their testicles and their stomachs. 

So if you, as a wife, can learn to satisfy both of these  - which means good cooking - you will have a better chance of keeping your hubby.

[ilove2patch]

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It's a very handy thing", God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very ability."

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..."

On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability.

And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while.

"Fine," God said looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What's left here? Oh yes, brains...."

[malacandran]

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@ilove2patch wrote:

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It's a very handy thing", God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very ability."

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..."

On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability.

And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while.

"Fine," God said looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What's left here? Oh yes, brains...."

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A good post, and it brings out this basic point:

Men can urinate proudly standing up, with some dignity.

Whereas women have to squat and leak.

What this means, I'm not sure.  Perhaps it shows that men are more advanced, towards Godhood?

[023mjc]

God was a woman - till she changed her mind.

[malacandran]

Geroff, you're whistling in the wind. God is a man.  I mean how could you have a woman god ruling the Universe.?

The idea seems absurd, because a Woman God wouldn't allow wars, surely?

[023mjc]

Well with the mess the world is in right now I agree - God is a man.

(no offence intended to men)

[023mjc]

Personally I like the teatime thread. I don't often join in but I look in every day and it gives me great ideas when I don't know what to cook. I often think  "Oooh that sounds nice - I'll do that tomorrow".

[leoleoleo123]

Or, we ladies can get one of these... rotfl!

http://go-girl.com/

[leoleoleo123]

How does that float your boat malacandarina!?

[cookiecookuk]

god is a man because if  god was a woman men would give birth then the world would die out as men could not stand the pain 

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@malacandran wrote:

Geroff, you're whistling in the wind. God is a man.  I mean how could you have a woman god ruling the Universe.?

The idea seems absurd, because a Woman God wouldn't allow wars, surely?

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