Has the buyer opened an eBay case in relation to the chocolates that he/she wants to return? If so then reply via the case, saying something along the lines of "Please return the box of chocolates to me that you purchased and I will refund your money in full as soon as I receive them back again." That way it puts the ball back in the buyer's court. The buyer may well have eaten some of the contents of the box, and so feels embarrassed about returning a half-empty box of chocolates!
If the buyer has just asked for a refund but has not replied via the eBay Resolution Centre then reply to the buyer via the case, starting the response with something like "In response to your message sent on [insert date here] via eBay Messages..." then just say whatever you were going to say. This should serve to draw the attention of any eBay Customer Service Representative to the fact tha the buyer has been avoiding responding via the case should you need to appeal a defect relating to the matter, especially if the buyer never returns the item but eBay force the refund. They should be able to check whether the buyer returned the item by checking to see whether the eBay returns label was ever downloaded and used. If not then that would further support your claim that the buyer never complied with your request to return the item for a refund, which should strengthen your argument to get the defect removed, as well as any negative feedback left.
Should you need to contact eBay to appeal a defect on your account in relation to this matter contact eBay Customer Service by clicking on the Help & Contact link shown at the top and the bottom of this page. When the next page loads up click on the mobile phone icon at the bottom of the page where it says "Need more help? Have us call you."
Shortly after clicking on the mobile phone icon you should receive a phone call from an eBay representative. Explain to the person you are speaking to exactly what has gone wrong and state that given that the buyer point blank refused to return the item for a refund as requested you don't feel that it was right of eBay to have automatically forced a refund, and ask for the defect to be removed, as well as any negative feedback if applicable. Make sure that you ask for the refund to be reversed, although if eBay are of no help in this regard then try contacting PayPal in relation to the matter. Explain to them that eBay issued the buyer with an unjustified refund and see if you can get PayPal to revoke the refund and reinstate the funds back into your account. If PayPal decide the case in your favour you'll get the money back again.
Finally, if you have not already done so, add the buyer's User ID to your Blocked Bidders List so that he/she cannot purchase anything else from you in the future and cause you any further aggravation.
