Maggie had 2,500 mourners - how many will YOU have? Lol!

[5129frederick]

About 2500 people crammed into St. Pauls to say farewell to Thatcher.  I'm wondering how you'd match up to that when your time comes:-D The thing is, how many of those were genuine mourners?  In India and other Far East countries, it's big business.  You, or your dearly beloved, can actually hire mourners - mostly women, who will howl at your funeral to give you a good send off.  They openly advertise their services, like plumbers or electricians.  For a modest fee, you can get fifty or sixty women who will weep and pray for you, giving the impression you were well loved. It's not really my scene, but I can understand why people do it.  I would love Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus, and Thine Be the Glory to be sung at my funeral, but with just three perceived attendees, I know that no hymns would be sung, and that it would all be over in less than twenty minutes, as it was with my aunt.  Her's was an improvement - she had eight attending her funeral, but again, not enough to justify any hymns.

As we get older, our circle of friends become less.  relatives move away and loved ones relink in another world.  It's not easy to make friends.  You either socialise or you don't, and we don't.  Do I come across as sad? 😄 

[5129frederick]

The best one I read about was the person who brought out Puzzler Magazine.  A couple of directors went round to his house because some important documents had to be signed and he hadn't been seen for about three weeks.  They found he'd been dead for about two weeks and managed to track down some of his relatives.  How many people turned up at the funeral?  Two, both company representatives so he too died alone and, apparantly, unloved. 

Although I hope God spares me for a good few years yet, I've given my wife written instructions to be read in conjunction with the will on whom NOT to invite to the funeral, or indeed inform.  The very last thing I want is a dozen or so "relatives" come to "pay their respects", never to be seen again.  If they can't honour me while I'm alive, even with a Christmas card, why go through the crass hypocrisy of "grieving" for me when I'm dead and gone?  I hate funerals, with everybody kissing and hugging outside the church:

"Oh, Anthea dhaarling. It's been too long.  We really must keep in touch.  What's your email address?"  So email addresses and phone numbers are exchanged, knowing full well that the next time Anthea and Samantha meet up will be at the next "family" funeral!

Cynical?  Yes - VERY!  :^O  After three score years and five I've seen all I need to see regarding funerals.  Genuine mourners only, please!

[ilove2patch]

But you won't know who turns up. You will be dead.:| My lot can do what they like with me as long as they don't waste any money.

[confusedjohn]

I think that was a misprint...it should have read..'moners'

[confusedjohn]

'moaners'

[suzieseaside]

I don't care. I have no close family and have lost touch with most cousins.

However, if I get some warning I might deposit a couple of grand behind the bar of my favourite pub for a wild wake. That should bring a lot of friends out of the woodwork :^O

And if I have enough warning, I might have a practise run, so I can be there to enjoy it too 😛