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r9)c!s!BMe7Sm0zi!~~_7.JPG "electric*mayhem*band"){kind=avatar}
What about punishing according to the degree of harm caused? Apart from teeth marks and wounded pride, there was no significant harm caused by Suárez’s bite. No blood was drawn, no flesh was torn. Nobody got eaten. It wasn’t a career-wrecking assault. It was a violent act, but was it any worse than a punch, a headbutt, a studs-up tackle or an elbow to the throat? Clearly not. So why does a bite warrant a stiffer penalty than all these acts of violence?
It seems that Suárez is being punished for violating a social taboo. Biting, like spitting, is considered uncivilised. Suárez’s punishment therefore would appear to include an additional moral premium. But whose morals are we talking about? Sure, there’s been plenty of frothing outrage, particularly in England. But while some were outraged, the rest of us were pissing ourselves laughing. That’s right: we thought it was bloody hilarious. Top notch entertainment. So, there’s not even a moral consensus over the alleged crime.
I propose a simple and proportionate punishment, based on philosopher Jeremy Bentham’s ‘hedonistic calculus’, weighing up the amount of pleasure or pain caused. The bite itself deserves a three-match ban (actual cannibalism would carry a stiffer, six-match sanction). However, as the bite caused almost as much pleasure as it did pain, I’d offset the penalty with a two-game ‘mirth bonus’. The net result is a one-match ban. A reasonable sanction or a recipe for cannibalism? I’ll leave you, dear reader, to chew over that question.
This is the third similar incident that this yobbo has been involved in. Clearly the message that his behaviour is unacceptable has not yet penetrated his thick skull. All that has happened on this occasion in retribution, is that he's been deprived of a bit of pocket money. Maybe a more fitting punishment would be to extract all his teeth - without anaesthetic - and then enforce a two year ban, instead of a paltry four months.
The amusing thing though in this display of childish behaviour, was the fact that he started to clutch at his molars as if they had suddenly developed a life of their own, and had decided to attack his opponent. That and the fact that he expected everyone to believe his amateur dramatics.
But of course try telling that to his legion of followers, who think the sun shines out of his penalty area.
I think Tommy, that we're all well aware of the obscene amounts that the football fraternity 'earn', and how much they are held in high esteem by some people. It's not only Count Dracula. Probably the reason why a lot of them think that they're above reproach - and in many instances, that seems to be the case.
