Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[Anonymous]

Thanks Bill. :-x

Hi Suze. :-x

Yes, she is going to do some pictures to add to her site. They don't have to be professional photos. Just showing her at her best.

Just trying different clothes, different looks, different hairstyles and make-up. We're doing it over a few days as all this takes quite a bit of time.

[Anonymous]

Carp here at the Costa da Manc. :_|

[bill-xxx]

Thanks - that does look refreshing.

Lovely here on the UK Costa del Sol 😄

Thanks...

Grey skies here at the Costa del R Sol 😞

:^O

[suzieseaside]

:^O

Poor bill and harry

I initially mentioned why Manchester was so wet compared with the north east, in my explanation to steve. Then I removed it as I thought of harry, and didn't want to rub it in! :^O

[bill-xxx]

:^O

Poor bill and harry

I initially mentioned why Manchester was so wet compared with the north east, in my explanation to steve. Then I removed it as I thought of harry, and didn't want to rub it in! :^O

So you come on here and rub it it? :_|

Good mind NOT to tell you what Charlie & I have in mind to offer you for that! X-(

:^O

[Anonymous]

Our time will come Bill..don't worry.:-)

Got to go now...see you laters.

[bill-xxx]

Our time will come Bill..don't worry.:-)

Got to go now...see you laters.

It will, Harry.

See you later..

[bill-xxx]

This one is rather long...

Irish Declare War On France.

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Sarkozy asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Sarkozy sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no f****n' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.

:^O

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

My wife drives me to drink.

You lot are going to have to walk....

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

A drunk goes to court.

'You have been brought here for drinking',says the Judge.

The Drunk days...

'Whopeeee!!!!!!!! Lets get started!!!!!!!

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

I'm saving up for a Rainy Day..

So far I've got a sou'wester,two macs,5 umbrellas,and a canoe....

[bill-xxx]

:^O

Hi Phil. How you doing?

Can I get you a drink?

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

A hose walks into a Bar and asks for a drink.

The Bartender asks.

'Why the Long Face?

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

Whiskey please Bill.

Bloomin fantastic drink.

It makes you see Double and feel single.....

[bill-xxx]

One whisky, Phil...:-)

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

Why did the idiot put starch in his whisky?

He wanted a stiff drink.....

[bill-xxx]

:^O

That made me laugh, Phil - have another on the house!

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

A man walks into Bill & Charlie's Posh Bar,with a lump of tarmac under his arm..

'What would you like?' asks mine host Bill.

The man says

'A pint of beer please'

And since you are in such a generous mood Mine host.

'I'll have a pint for the road.'

[pm_booksandstudiopottery]

Shakespeare walks into the bar while Charlie is on duty,and asks for a beer.

'I can't serve you' says Charlie.

'You're Bard.....'

[bill-xxx]

:^O

She would too! :^O

Even when sober ~ which ain't all that often! 😮

:^O

😛