Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[logbox]

No moles in my caravan, EMB skinned the lot and made himself some nice gloves for when he goes out nicking washing off peoples lines to sell to the Polish immigrants he sub let his council house to.

Ooops, was I supposed to let that out? 

[electric*mayhem*band]

Oi you, it was Willums that called you a Spiv, not me. See him......*sidles out of thread leaving them to it*

[electric*mayhem*band]

Has Logs scared you off, Willums ? Mind you, I don't blame you. He has been known to knock the skin off the top of a rice pudding, when he gets his dander up.

[al**bear]

Harry

Kim Little scored a hat-trick as Scotlands Women ended the Cyprus Cup with a 3-1 win over the Netherlands in Larnaca.

[tommy.irene]

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, "Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here?" The man answers, "Yeah, I live down the street." "No kidding?" says the first man, "Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school?" "Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in '66. How 'bout you?" "Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in '66, too." "Where'd you go to college?" "Beloit, in Wisconsin." "No way! I went to Beloit too. What dorm?" "Kevin Sullivan dorm." "Sullivan? You're not going to believe this . . ." Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, "Joe, you won't believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn't that amazing?" Joe looks at them both and says, "Yeah, that's just plain amazing." A third man comes in and says, "Hey Joe. What's new?" Joe says, "Not much. The Johnson twins are drunk again."

[margaret*e]

Just popped in to serve logs and EMB with a writ for slander, oh and stealing my dogs dinner.

[bill-xxx]

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@electric*mayhem*band wrote:

Has Logs scared you off, Willums ? Mind you, I don't blame you. He has been known to knock the skin off the top of a rice pudding, when he gets his dander up.

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No, not scared me off at all, Embsie. I've been to the gym to muscle up. I understand the little thug can give a good right hook in the kneecap ~ if he stands on a box.  

[bill-xxx]

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@marg*e wrote:

Just popped in to serve logs and EMB with a writ for slander, oh and stealing my dogs dinner.

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Shocking goings-on, Margaret. I have posted mugshots of the hooligans all over the town. How much will you pay me if they are caught? 

[Anonymous]

Knock knock Al, knock knock Al, knock knock Al......................

Could you refrain from making fun of the Dutch please...................

....unless of course you would like to become part of this evening's dinner.....

[electric*mayhem*band]

Did someone mention a writ ? Thought not. *clouts ears twice....and moves on*

[electric*mayhem*band]

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@bill-xxx wrote:

No, not scared me off at all, Embsie. I've been to the gym to muscle up. I understand the little thug can give a good right hook in the kneecap ~ if he stands on a box.  

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(Moved from up aloft).

[margaret*e]

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@bill-xxx wrote:

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@marg*e wrote:

Just popped in to serve logs and EMB with a writ for slander, oh and stealing my dogs dinner.

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Shocking goings-on, Margaret. I have posted mugshots of the hooligans all over the town. How much will you pay me if they are caught? 

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I couldn't possibly offend you by offerng payment.

[tommy.irene]

This is the story of Head A man had a son, but he was born as only a head,no body parts just a head. The man loved his son very much and took care of him, even though he was only a head.When he turned 21, the man took him to Bill & Charlies bar."One whiskey for my boy, bartender!" said the man."You don't want to do that," said the bartender."He's a man, just turned 21! Get him a whiskey!""I'm serious," the bartender insisted. "It's a bad idea.""Just do it!" ordered the man.So the bartender got the head a whiskey, and when he drank it, he sprouted a body! The head and his dad were excited, but the bar tender wasn't pleased."Wow, another one of those for my boy!" yelled the man."It really is a bad idea," the bartender stated."Just give him a stupid whiskey! Geez, I'm paying', ain't I?" said the man, a little angry now.So the bartender gave the son a whiskey, and he grew an arm! The father made the bartender give more whiskey to the head, and he grew another arm, a leg,another leg, and finally the head was a whole person.The son was so excited that he ran into the street, screaming and shouting happily, and was hit by a car and died."I told you,"Bill the bar owner said. "You should've quit while he was a head."

[bill-xxx]

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@marg*e wrote:

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@bill-xxx wrote:

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@marg*e wrote:

Just popped in to serve logs and EMB with a writ for slander, oh and stealing my dogs dinner.

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Shocking goings-on, Margaret. I have posted mugshots of the hooligans all over the town. How much will you pay me if they are caught? 

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I couldn't possibly offend you by offerng payment.

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OFFEND ME! OFFEND ME! OFFEND ME!  

                     

[electric*mayhem*band]

Bought your Red Nose, Willums ? Logs says he's just sticking to the one he's already got.

[bill-xxx]

 Yes, got mine thanks, but thought you might prefer to see Logise's 'warning beacon' first.

    

[bill-xxx]

Logise's? He's even using another name! 

*bins keyboard*

[Anonymous]

.

[electric*mayhem*band]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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Cat Sylvester got your tongue, Harriet ?

Nice piccy of Logs, there. Have you been rummaging through his PB account again ?