Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[Anonymous]

[tommy.irene]

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him: "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," says the barman. "The circus?" Repeats the duck. "That's right," replies the barman. "The circus?" the duck asks again. "With the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says......... "What would they want with a plasterer??!"

[bill-xxx]

Opens up Bar ~ avoids being trampled on.

    

[electric*mayhem*band]

Follow up:

[bill-xxx]

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@electric*mayhem*band wrote:

Follow up:

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Very true! I'm not silly! That's why I drive a Bentley and you have a moped.  

    *stifles snigger*

[electric*mayhem*band]

(Photograph courtesy of The Logbox Scrapyard Ltd).

There's nothing wrong with my Moped....well when I

get it sorted. Logs sold me it for a hundred notes.....

he said it was worth quadruple that, as it was vintage.

Do you think he's robbed me ? No don't answer that,

I'd rather not know.....................................*ponders*

[Anonymous]

[bill-xxx]

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@electric*mayhem*band wrote:

(Photograph courtesy of The Logbox Scrapyard Ltd).

There's nothing wrong with my Moped....well when I

get it sorted. Logs sold me it for a hundred notes.....

he said it was worth quadruple that, as it was vintage.

Do you think he's robbed me ? No don't answer that,

I'd rather not know.....................................*ponders*

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I won't answer as requested but there's a clue in in this >>> (Photograph courtesy of The Logbox Scrapyard Ltd). 

I bought a bathtub from the very same crook person and it leaked like a sieve. In fact it didn't have a bottom at all. Wasted gallons of water trying to fill it up too!

[bill-xxx]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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What's up, Harry? You are too quite. You're up to something. I can tell!  I'm not scared though.

*locks door and closes shutters*   

[Anonymous]

[electric*mayhem*band]

All day today.

Morning Church Service will be held at Margate Working Mens' Social Club, afternoon tea at the Vicarage, followed by Evensong at Westminster Abbey.

Thank You.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

[bill-xxx]

Round Table Choir.

Conductor: Charlie. Logsie: Front row centre. Harry's the one with the beard.  

                     

[bill-xxx]

Oh, hello Harry. You wasn't there when I posted the choir pic. I wasn't referring to you, btw. I meant Harry..erm..Potter!

[electric*mayhem*band]

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@bill-xxx wrote:

Oh, hello Harry. You wasn't there when I posted the choir pic. I wasn't referring to you, btw. I meant Harry..erm..Potter!

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*sniggers up cassock sleeve*

[Anonymous]

[margaret*e]

Where's that Bill hiding, I brought the whole family for the free Mothers day dinner he promised us, and found the whole place boarded up.

[bill-xxx]

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@marg*e wrote:

Where's that Bill hiding, I brought the whole family for the free Mothers day dinner he promised us, and found the whole place boarded up. 

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                     A coachload of riff-raff from the Medway towns was en-route to the Bar. My first thought was to protect my friend Margaret and her family so I boarded the place up.

[electric*mayhem*band]

(The following announcement is merely a ruse to take the heat off Willums).

Good Morning. Michael Fish here. Today there will be some weather in the North, but not as much down South. Meanwhile I'm off to the park to feed the ducks, and then maybe have a ride on the swings. Bye for now, see you at ten o' clock.