now the seller is refusing to accept a return
Did you open a case under eBay's money back guarantee? The seller couldn't refuse this if you followed the procedure carefully. Unless possibly you said that it didn't fit? (Buyers MUST make it clear that an item doesn't match the description as eBay treats "doesn't fit" as a change of mind return. This stems from eBay's policy that correctly described clothing is not returnable under the guarantee just because it doesn't fit the buyer. eBay cannot seem to grasp that replacement parts for cars that don't fit are not just a change of mind!)
Or did you submit an ordinary return request? If the seller's returns policy is to accept returns, they couldn't refuse this either.
Or did you just ask the seller for a return, without using any of the procedures that eBay provides?
It's so very hard to provide meaningful advice if you don't give us any information. We don't even know when or how you paid, on which so many of your rights depend.