Book titles - any more ideas?

[onemorewonthurt]

Elf hypnosis by Si Cologist

[lindum-49]

Playing Lawn Bowls Ruins Your Social Life By Lynn Dumm

.........sorry littleme, start of the new outdoor season and so much to learn as a new Vice Captain of our local club...........L plates up and no time to rest at the moment.........my new playing diary means that only Monday is free for washing the hamster, getting a haircut and shopping..........I jest of course but emails are creating an information overload at the moment..........it will quieten down i have been advised as the league sheets get populated........I am smiling, I think 🙂  

[lindum-49]

How To Dress The Village Maypole By Morris Dancers

.........long time ago the village tradition on May 1st......hope your region still does it littleme........down here getting a 5m pole is difficult enough with plenty of gaily coloured ribbons........... and then there is Health and Safety that put a stop to it all..........ho hum

......hoping your Premium Bonds are a winner..........cheers

[littleme61_6]

Deciding On A New Laptop by H.P Pavilion

Well done on being a Vice Chairman Lindum, sure all will run smoothly. 

Unfortunately same my side regarding the May Pole tradition. I did stick a brush into a bucket of sand, tied some ribbons to the brush  but, the brush kept falling to the side. 

I await the postman to let me know if my Premium Bonds have won. 

[lindum-49]

How To Choose Your Next PC Wisely By Terry Bights

.......shop round for the best deal and best spec you can get for the cash your willing to pay littleme............don't get sucked in to buying something outside your price range...........been there done that and lost out..........:)

[littleme61_6]

Shopping At The Frozen Food Shop By Penny Spentup

Yes shop around I did, and all sorted eventually. 

I got bitten once like that  but for sure never again. 

[littleme61_6]

Having A Nice Time At The Seaside By B. Lackpool

[lindum-49]

Knotted Hankies, Whelks and Paddling By Don Keyrides

...........hoping the weather is fine and your having fun on all the rides littleme......

[lindum-49]

Great White, Chips and Mushy Peas By Vinny Gar and Tom Atoketchup

....basic fare along the Blackpool Mile...........as well as candy floss and toffee apples

[littleme61_6]

Enjoying Time On The Beach By Sandy Tows 

I only went for the day yesterday lindum, but a great day I picked, as so very warm and sunny. Mm, I tucked in well to the candy floss, toffee apples and an ice cream. Had some rides as well. Only on the children's ones as I was beneath the height for the adult rides. 

Wish I could have had a ride on this.. 

I took lots of photo's. 

[littleme61_6]

Tuck In Well To Your Meal By Pete Za

[lindum-49]

You'll Never Know Which Is My Favourite Pizza? By Pepper Rowknee

......and all I had tonight was a cup of soup........with some French bread..........boring!

[littleme61_6]

Baking The Best Milk Puddings by Mack Aroni

....Oo, you need to eat more than that Lindum to make you have big muscles. 

[littleme61_6]

Such Changeable Weather by Ray Ning 

[lindum-49]

Building An Ark For Begineers By Watt Wood and Hugh Biggisit

...parts of Surreyshire are flooded but not where we are yet.......tomorrows bowls match could need wet suit and flippers!!

Stay dry up norf............

[littleme61_6]

What To Put On Cheese Sandwiches by P. Ickull

.. Hope it does stay dry then for the game of bowls Lindum. At least warm here in the Norf this evening. 

[lindum-49]

How To Tell One Old Fossil From Another By T. Rilobite

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty,
and was leaving his mission in the jungle, 
where he has spent years teaching the natives, 
when he realizes that the one thing he never 
taught them, was how to speak English. 

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. 
He points to a tree and says to the chief,
 
"This is a tree." 

The chief looks at the tree and grunts,
 
 "Tree." 

The Priest is pleased with the response. 
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, 
 "This is a rock." 

Hearing this, the chief looks and repeats
 "Rock." 
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about his 
results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.  
As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of 
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. 

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds,
"Man riding a bike." 

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his 
blowgun and kills them both.. 

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that 
he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other,

so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? 

The chief replied, 

"My bike."

[littleme61_6]

Receiving Lots Of Advertising Booklets Through The Door By Pam Phletts

[littleme61_6]

Get Out And Enjoy The Beautiful Weather  By Summer Sunshyne

[lindum-49]

Eating The Cowboy Way By Tex Mex and Al Paso

.......what happened to just cheese on toast?..............yeeha!!!

[littleme61_6]

Holding Your Breath For Exam Results by Betty Passes