What A Day Of Child-Related Contrast

[fishpieface]

Yesterday, in the morning we went to a college open day with our youngest son who hopes to

go there In September.  This is the child who struggled to read and write when he went to senior

school, he couldn't keep up and had to have loads of extra help - he is now predicting mid to high

grades for his GCSEs, Cs, Bs and one A.  I couldn't believe we were sitting there listening to him

speak confidently to the college tutors about hoping to take 2 A Levels in music and philosophy

and a BTec in Film Studies!  He no longer needs a scribe and keeps up with his school work and

homework, and is trying really hard to up his grades.

Then, in the afternoon and evening, we had to sort our eldest out.  Oh dear, not such good news

there unfortunately.  He managed yesterday, singlehandedly,  to get chucked out of his accommodation

and lose his job.  He lost his job for not turning up - a fairly fundamental requirement really, and his accommodation

for not respecting his fellow house-mates and just doing what he liked, which included getting loads of his

dubious mates to stay over one night. doing dodgy stuff.  The others complained when they found them

scattered all over the place in the morning.  Then, after being asked not to do it again, he did just that.

We then found out that he's been having dealings involving drugs (to what extent we don't know) and

hanging out in a boarded up nightclub with some others of similarly dodgy inclination.  He is an adult

now and absolutely refuses to accept help or advice of any kind as the only kind of "help" he thinks is

acceptable is the monetary kind.  In addition to all that, he is wanted under warrant for not turning up at

court twice and for another suspected offence very recently.  What on earth does one do with somebody like

that?  He is ludicrously volatile, flying into a rage over the slightest little thing and very selfish, thus rendering

himself unlivable with.  It's us that's worrying over him, he just blames everyone else and thinks somebody

will bail him out.

So, a day of contrasts with the two of them.  Love them both, very proud of one, very unproud of the other, all

in the same day!  Even sadder is the eldest had even more potential than youngest to do well, he found school

much easier to keep up with but just wouldn't bother to do any work at all.

[merc1_clocks]

Aaach...what a dilemma fishie x

 He shows no love or respect for you & Mr F...hard to step back, but there are more 'worthy' family members IMHO...my heart goes out to you darlin xxx

[rainydaywoman11]

Aaaaw Fishy sweetheart, I wouldn't be in your shoes for all the tea in China.  It is so hard and I think you are dead right not to let him back into the house.  You've worked hard for your peace, for all of you.  Parents both working (you shifts), getting your house nice again, and the wee boy and his success.  You can't jeopardise that.

Golly, I wish I had an answer.  I too would have shelled out for the B&B tonight, but I don't know what to say for the future.

[bitsnknots]

I can understand where you are coming from Fishy. Both you and Mr Fishy have worked hard to have a lovely home for your family.  Hopefully, your elder son will come to his senses sometime soon.

My thoughts are with you and the rest of the family.

[fishpieface]

Hubby's just been waiting ages for him and eventually found him prowling about in Sainsbury's, not

giving much thought to the fact that Hubby's gone all the way over there (about 6 miles), with loads

of his clean washing, sorted him somewhere for tonight and he still couldn't manage to be where

he was supposed to be.  Still, we just have to marvel at the teeny weeny things with him, like the

fact that at least he was in the same town!

[bitsnknots]

Fishy, I think that you and your husbands are saints for putting up with him.  It must be awful for you.  Your other son has done so well and it's obvious that you are ever so proud of him.