Trying (and failing) to keep up contact with a friend

[**streety**]

Hi all.  Hope everyone is ok.

I wonder if anyone remembers the thread I made about trying to keep in contact with a friend who never seemed to phone me

and never seemed to have the time? 
It was all one sided and over the years we would only speak or meet up if  I instigated it.

I was going to leave it and let her get in contact like i've done before, but never able to leave it more than a few months before I would worry and feel bad incase something had happened.

Ofcourse nothing bad had happened, she was just busy and really pleased to hear from me.  In my thread I wrote about just leaving it as I'd had enough.  I had written a short note about a rough time I'd been having in a Birthday card and still heard nothing and you guys advised me to just phone one more time incase something was up.

Well, a few months ago I did, and spoke to my friends hubby who is also a friend and a lovely genuine guy, he promised he would let her know as she had mentioned that she must phone me but never got round to it.

Well two weeks after that I moved.
I never bothered to say that on the phone as I thought I would tell if she phoned, but she didn't.
So I moved and thats that.. I'm not hard to contact as she has my mobile no.
I've had enough of chasing someone that obviously doesn't want to be friends anymore.

I know she's ok as I've seen her out and about with others.  I have got the hint.

[carolyorkie2010]

Just look upon it as her loss not yours. I get fed up with email pals who don't keep in touch, some going back a few years, then I also give in and email even though it's "their turn" if you like, they don't even think about emailing out of turn; then I'll get a reply saying, "lovely to hear from you; I've missed our emails!" Words fail me sometimes.

[merc1_clocks]

I do remember streety, & IMHO, she just ain't worth it.

You deserve better

[hightara]

i remember too streety,

its so hurtful when that happens......but hey her loss and an opportunity for you to have new friends which i undoubtly know you will..

with my illness............. all my fair weather friends left.... not even a phone call when i was at my worst.

but i have one special friend (just one) and although i dont see her often, i know we have the closest friendship ever...... now on 36 years now.

so dont fret we all loves ya

[**streety**]

It cant be helped.  I tried.   I bet if I bump into her it'll be my fault that she couldn't contact me as I failed to tell her I had moved.
I can count my friends on half a hand, so really couldn't afford to lose her friendship.  We had fun times, even both families going on holiday together a few years back.

[dark_castle1]

hightara & streety, never mind about all those fair weather friends because in here you both have many new best friends. Ok they cannot just pop round for a cup of tea or a blether face to face but they are always here to listen and give support and advice.

In this forum I have seen much support and warmth extended to people that most will never meet but they will never desert their new found online friends and will always be there when needed.

So chin up ladies and put your best foot forward and embrace your new best online friends because they are all lovely warm giving ladies.

[carolyorkie2010]

Very well put. And I for one, am so glad I found this site. I'm always popping in to see what new topics there are and to add a few of my own.

[**streety**]

Thats kind and very true   However my kids have missed out seeing their friends (her kids) too which is a shame.

Anyway.  Nuff said on that.  As far as I'm concerned enough is enough and I will contact her no more

[bitsnknots]

Rescued Corgi, I think that that is a brilliant post and very well put.  You're right, we are all here for one another.   I know that we all act daft but if someone has a problem, we are all there to help.

Streety, I can see where you are coming from and, deep down, it must hurt a lot inside.  People like your so called friend aren't worth bothering with.   Sending you loads of cyber hugs.  

[**streety**]

By the way should I be selecting the 'accept as a solution' box

[**towery**]

just ignore it streey,  they are going to do away with it

it assumes you asked a question that had sensible and correct answers

its not really applicable for the ebay boards,  Alan the pinkieblue mentioned them on the new community thread the other day , asked if the general posters wanted them,  there was a definite  NO !!  

LOL

there is a verse about friends and angels  i have some where, i'll see if i can find it

[**towery**]

just ignore it streey,  they are going to do away with it

it assumes you asked a question that had sensible and correct answers

its not really applicable for the ebay boards,  Alan the pinkieblue mentioned them on the new community thread the other day , asked if the general posters wanted them,  there was a definite  NO !!  

LOL

there is a verse about friends and angels  i have some where, i'll see if i can find it

[*golddust*]

So good she said it twice 

Fine weather friends are not worth worrrying about 

[coco*club]

I am still waiting for a "friend" to get in touch with me, last heard of in December 2010!

We used to work together, and socialised, including partners.

We both moved into different parts of the country, but would still keep in contact including the odd visit, but gradually I noticed that all the impetus came from me.

It was so odd how she would never ring me or email first, but whenever I got in touch she was chatty and appeared to be glad to hear from me.

Then in December 2010 I'd had enough. I'd sent her some books for Christmas for her kids, and she got in touch to say thanks but she wasn't doing Xmas presents. OK, fine.

But there was no birthday card for me that month either, not even a birthday email.

I waited to see if she would send a birthday greeting for my son a few months later - nothing.

So I decided that was the last straw, and haven't made the effort since.

I go through phases of wondering just what changed, and was it my fault in some way?

Then my rational head kicks in and accepts that people change, move on, and just can't keep up with every single person.

I obviously rated the friendship more than she did, but then I think So What!

It has made me look at my other frienships and perhaps put a little more effort into some of them.