OMG im pregnant again at 41

[funkyfootsies]

Hi all im having a bit of a meltdown i have just found out i am pregnant again today, im 41 and this will be our 5th child.

This pregnancy was not planned i am on the pill but had a sickness bug which i guess must have been the cause of the pill failing.

Im just nervous about my age and if there could be something wrong, our other children are 21,19,11 and 4 funny enough my 4th pregnancy when i was 38 was actually the easiest but i know all pregnancies are different and now being over the 40 mark im in the at risk age.

I know it will be hard work with a newborn that im prepared for and know what to expect, its the tests etc.. that i may have to have because of my age.

Im also worried as i have recently come off Champix the stopping smoking drug, and ive been taking 600mg ibuprofen for headaches, i dont drink but god knows what harm those pills could have done, and if they would even pick up any damage at an early stage scan or if it would not show up until later.

Im booking a doctors appointment tomorrow and hopefully get a scan booked as soon as possible.

Any older mums on here who could give me any advice id be very grateful.

Thankyou xxx

[merc1_clocks]

I think you are incredibly lucky-enjoy every moment-it will be wonderful.

I hope to follow your progress,and see that babby in your arms  :-x

[chickengrandma-2008]

Congratulations!  My granddaughter's mum was nearly 41 when she was born.  She's three now and as fit as a fiddle and bright as a button.:-D

[captainbovine]

oh, and we like piccies;-)

[splodgums]

Congratulations :-x

My Mum had me at 43 & I had my youngest at 38 we were both fine, I was offered certain tests but declined all of them, its down to you if you have any or not ......... don't be swayed in your desicions, personally my opinion is if you plan on keeping the baby whatever, then why have them in the first place, I know its better to be aware if there are problems but some tests have also known to be wrong :-x

Ditto. I just spotted this on a rare visit to FHG and I just had to add my congratulations (Was about to add a smiley but it is just not enough!) I also agree most strongly with cat-knitter and others about mum-age, tests and things.

I just had a day looking after a gorgeous 2 year old whose 37 year old mum will be making her a Big Sister very soon. The best mum I have ever know (possibly excepting my own of course!) and the best 2 year old too! But I am a biased aunty.

A biased childless aunty about your age, with a disability. I see people on the forums for 'my' condition worrying that they should avoid having a baby in case it is like me. Fortunately there are no tests yet! I am pleased that I was born. Even things that sound unliveable-with can be coped with when they actually happen.

I was looking after my neice while her mum took some other kids to the zoo - they all have special needs and they are some of the happiest children I have ever known. There are not so many with Downs Syndrome these days which is a tragedy - prospective parents may have little understanding and may not realise that many young adults with Downs live independently, have girlfriends and boyfriends, can do their own shopping, cleaning etc etc (often better than those with no 'special needs'!) and even if they don't they have happy and productive lives.

I have known loads of people whose 'tests' and prognosis-es have proved very wrong. Several of the children with special needs have outlived the doctors most optimistic predictions and I've known loads of other mistakes and children with various disabilities making much better improvements than thought possible. Lots of tests have high rates of 'false positives', so a baby expected to be born with a disability may well be fine after all. And most babies born to mums of all ages are fine, you have experience and older children to help you out, try to enjoy your pregnancy and your baby and be HAPPY! (It's good for the baby!)

[oh_pee]

Congratulations!!! 😄

Please don't worry about  your medicatios and the tests.  I, personally, believe that it doesn't make any difference in the early weeks anyway as you just can't possibly know any different.

And as for the tests,  just go with what you want.  If you have the tests, you don't need to know the results - you can always ask them to just keep them on file in case you change your mnd or they're needed later. :-x

[funkyfootsies]

Thanks everyone i feel so much better now :-x, i think i will have the normal scans and blood tests done like i had with all the others, its the amnio that scares the life out of me so that one would be the main one id like to avoid.

It has sunk in now and im really excited i was dreading my 4 year old going to school full time in september as i felt like i was being made redundant lol, but now i will have a purpose again being a full time mummy.

I even asked at his school if i could volenteer every day in any of the classes, or i was going to go back into working in a playschool or nursery as i just love being around children.

Some people think its mad to have children at my age especially when you have ones that have already grown up, and say "god why would you want more when you finally get them off your hands and get some you time"

I dont want me time i want being a mummy time its my life and always has been and i thank god i have been lucky enough to be blessed with 4 beautiful children and now another one, yes this baby was not planned but will be loved and wanted just as much as all our others.

And i believe everything happens for a reason our eldest son was born with alot of medical problems, hearing, vision, breathing and speech caused by a defect in his brain, he had to wear glasses at 8 months had his first operation at 1 year and a further 7 after that.

We spent more time in hospital with him than at home, it did take over our lives and our daughter at the time had to spend nearly the first 8 years of her life round her nans as she could not stay in the hospitals with us, she was the one who long term suffered due to this as she never had a normal childhood our home was more like a hospital ward with all the medication and equipment we had to have.

Our son of course did not have a normal childhood but to him it was normal as he never new any different.

People would say to us how do you cope, you have no choice you have to cope to us he was our baby he had problems and it was our job to help him get through them, with alot of help from doctors and hospitals, now he is a perfectly healthy 19 year old lad his only issues now are having to wear glasses and asthma.

I did look for the pregnancy thread as i know there used to be one but could not find it i will have another look.

And yes believe me there will be photos lol.

Hows your little ones doing now pee ? i bet they have grown so much, i remember when you had your last one only seems like last week lol.

xxxx

[oh_pee]

I think the thread you are after has dropped off the board :-(.  But There's no reason why you can't start another :-D.  This may even turn out to be it! 😄

I'm glad you've relaxed a bit and can enjoy yourself now.  And you sound like it's your vocation :-x.

My two are great thanks.  PJ (Pee Junior) is 5 and H (Who was going to be Baby Pee but Baby P put pad to that!) is two and a half going on seventeen! 

PJ will be going ito year one in September and H starts pre-school in January.  They are sooo different!  Pj is so tall she can sometmes pass for being 7 and H is such a shortie!  If she could keep her little blabbermouth shut I'm sure I'd get away with saying she;s under two LOL!

[vamo48]

Congratulations, funkyfootsies! Don't worry. My daughter had her 2nd baby at 41 and all is well. The doctor has reassured you about the medication you were on and knows you were taking Champix, just have the usual blood tests and enjoy your pregnancy. 

[azanapf]

Congratulations! 😄

[brynteg11]

congratulations, as others have said only have the tests that you want/need the results of and enjoy your pregnancy.

[funkyfootsies]

Hi everyone :-x just spoke to the midwife and gave her all my details and history, she said after my dating scan they will book me in for the scan at 10/16 weeks that one is the one that gives an early detection for some problems, ive had that one each time so im fine with that.

She is also booking me into see a consultant due to the problems i had during the birth with my 3rd child he was a shoulder dystocia delivery with ventouse which resulted in a dislocated pelvis and symphis pubis dysfunction, but only because they did not pick up on his size, im 5ft and our previous 2 were under 5-14 and 6-14 and i struggled to deliver them normally.

Our third was 8lb which was what caused the problems and why i had to have a c-section with our 4th and will have to have a c-section with this one aswell.

Funny though as our 4th was 6-12 so im not sure what went wrong with our 3rd one lol.

I asked about the champix again as thats the one im worried about and she said it should be fine and the dating scan will pick up anything obviously wrong and the 10-16 week one is even more detailed.

She never mentioned my age or amnio's or extra tests or anything so thats good, just basically the same tests everyone has no matter what age they are.

xxxxx

[merc1_clocks]

That's great news funkyfootsies,I'm sure you're much happier now that you have been reassured regarding anything you had been taking before falling pregnant.

I had a late baby,& felt positively ancient compared to some of the girls that were in with me!

Of my three,the last two were elective sections,due to problems with the first.I have to say,I was much more laid back & relaxed with the third,& she has proved to be a wee darling.

Her big brother & sister love her to bits.

There was a short while when she was at High School that it bothered her that her mum seemed so old compared to the other girls' mums-but now she thinks I'm kinda cool!!

Your baby was meant..enjoy every second,& I hope to follow your progress,you lucky thing :-x

[chickengrandma-2008]

I've read and heard several discussions about whether it's fair or not, on the child, who has older parents.  Some of them say it's great having older parents because they're more laid back, have more patience etc, and some say it's not good because they were bullied at school and mum and dad were too old to play football etc. with them. These are all genuine fors and againsts, but the only thing that really matters is, this was this child's time to be born.  If mum was younger (or older) when she got pregnant, it wouldn't be this child that was born, it would have been someone else altogether!:|

[wizilizi]

I have a friend who had an unexpected pregnancy at 43

She says having the baby/child was fine - it's now, at 60, that she finds a 17 year old tiring.  He's a good lad, but there's still a lot of running about

He IS her only, so that is different - & in a sense demanding, in that he has nowhere else to turn & she focusses her energies on him - especially as her OH died 😞

It is such a variable - I feel in my water that the OP will be fine

*Feeling things.. ..'in my water' is something my Grandma said :^O  Did anybody elses's??*

[wizzlewest]

Hi, congratulations on your pregnancce.  As others have said try not to worry about what you have been taking medicine wise, many people take allsorts before they know and goon to have healthy babies.

Not read thru all the thread so don't know if this has been covered or not.   I read that you were worried about Amnio.   There is a different test u can have.  I paid to have it done provately with both my girls.  I was 35 for first pregnancy and 38 for 2nd.  It's a nuchal translucency test which is a non invasive scan where they measure the liquid in the neck (as i recall) of the baby.  If it is wide theres a good chance of downs, if narrow then there is a lower chance of downs.  They do a blood test too to run alongside it.   You have it done between 11 & 13 weeks.    It may not be for you but at least you know it's available and because it's done from a scan no risk of misscarriage or anything :0).   Oh and it cost about £200 each time.  Hope this helps.

[chickengrandma-2008]

I think that's what my granddaughter's mum had, the name rings a bell, is it  'nuchal fold'  ?

[funkyfootsies]

Thats the scan the midwife has booked me in for today she said it will be between around that sort of time i think she said anytime between 10/16 weeks it can be done but im not sure exactly, and the bloods that go with it, so im lucky i can have that non invasive test done free on the NHS.

That scan and the blood tests im fine with and hopefully everything will come back ok, me and my husband are so excited now we never thought we would have another one after already having four.

And i noticed i was alot calmer and laid back with my 3rd and 4th when i was 30 and 38 than when i had our 1st and 2nd at 19 and 23, i just new what i was doing and the babies seemed to be so much less fussy and more relaxed and i think its because they felt safe knowing that i new what i was doing so never picked up on the panicking stressing out stages that i went through as a first time and very young parent.

We could certainly come across the age issue being embarrasing for the younger kids but hopefully us having so many kids keeps us young at heart and up to date with all the modern stuff thats going on, especially as we have 2 older ones aswell it will give the younger ones a big range of different experiences and so many people to help out and be involved in there lives, they will never be lonely or sad xxxx

[funkyfootsies]

Oh and yes wizilizi i have heard that saying many times its a great saying my gran used to say it all the time lol :-x

I can totally imagine it must be very tiring for your friend having the one child at 60 especially as she is on her own i cant imagine how hard it must be.

I suppose im lucky in that respect that i have 4 other children so with brothers and sisters you have other people to fall back on and help out, but as an only child he has no one else but her to go to or rely on it must be very hard.

I think if this baby was my first i would be petrified lol, as id be walking into the unknown without a clue what to expect, luckily i know what to expect the good and the bad lol xxx

[mandiandbenjy]

oooh a new baby thread :-x

congratulations on surprise bump, he/she is going to be spoilt rotten

don't stress over tests etc, you are the one in the driving seat, just find your voice and you'll be fine

(i 'sacked' my first midwife and 2 consultants.....i've got a big gob and google ]:))

oh, and can someone pleeeeeeeease keep a certain ahem 'creative' someone in check......gawd knows what the poor baby would end up with X-(:_|

[cat-knitter]

Ooh yes ............. shouts for Kitten ]:)

KITTEN .... we have a new project for you ..........

baby clothes 😉