Hi all
Some of you know about the terrible heartbreak I have encountered over the last 2 years but for the benefit of others I will explain.
In January 2013 I lost my gorgeous collie cross Sally. She had been diagnosed as having congestive heart failure in March 2012 but it was being controlled with medication. In December 2013 she was diagnosed as having lymphodema and it was very aggressive, she could not be given steroids as they would cause her heart to fail totally. When I got up on the morning of January 6th 1 front leg and 1 back leg was swollen terribly with fluid as a result of the cancer and she could not stand up. I had to have her put to sleep that day and my heart felt like it had been ripped out 
Although I did not know her true age as she was a rescue, I believe she was around 16/17 so she had a good innings and she was spoilt rotten by me. I miss her and yearn for her snuggles every single day. xxx
In February 2013 I lost my dad, again to that vile disease that is cancer. He had been diagnosed as having several brain tumours in July 2012 which they thought they could treat but in November 2012 we were told it was terminal and that it was throughout his body 😞 Again I miss him every single day, he was my best friend and just the most amazing person. xxx
In December 2013 I lost my gorgeous border collie Jess, she had a massive stroke and I rushed her to the vets of course but she had another stroke on the way there and she had to be put to sleep. Again she had a very good innings as she was 16. I miss her too and yearn for her cuddles every single day xxx
As time went on my remaining dog Molly (an aussie shepherd) got so depressed it was pitiful, she had lost both her pals within 12 months of each other and she was lost. At the end of January this year I rescued a 12 week old GSD Collie cross who had been badly neglected and was literally skin and bone. His name is Shadow and he is a big big bear and him and Molly were inseperable, she adored him and he her so despite my heartache I was happy that Molly was no longer depressed bless her xxx
Almost 6 weeks ago I kicked my partner out as I found out he was cheating on me but he had put me through hell for most of our 4+ years together so despite being crazy about it him once upon a time I was glad to see the back of him if that makes sense but nontheless it was painful initially but I am totally over him now as I was able to learn to despise him after everything he put me through (very long story).
Last Thursday evening my gorgeous Aussie Shepherd Molly took ill before my eyes, drooling, struggling for breath so I of course rushed her to the vets. She walked to the car but had to be helped in and again she needed lifting out when we got to the vets but she walked into the surgery albeit at a snails pace. As it was out of hours we had to wait for around 10 mins for the vet to finish off with someone else and by the time we were called in to the consulting room she could not stand up 😞 When the vet started to examine her she discover that Molly was paralysed in her back legs and when she examined her front she discovered that Molly could not see 😞 The vet said that she believed it was a massive brain tumour and I knew I had no choice but to have her put to sleep. At that point I collapsed, my legs buckled under me, I could not believe what was happening to my big bear, she was only 5 bless her. While the vet went off to prepare the injection and give us the chance to say our goodbyes Molly went into a massive seizure which was just totally horrific, my daughter was with us and I did my best to shield her from what was happening whilst shouting for the vet to come and end her suffering quickly as she was dying in my arms in much the same way as Jess did 😞 The vet could not find a vein so she had to inject straight into her heart.
I still cannot believe that she has gone and I honestly don't know how I am going to get through this, My heart feels like it has been ripped out of my chest, I have never known pain like it.
I love all my animals the same but when they are taken from us young you feel cheated, you expect to have them around for 15 years or so, the physical pain is just crippling me and I just do not know how to deal with this.
:(:(:(
xxx
Thankyou for your reply saasher, I too have some gorgeous photos but I just cannot bear to put them up on the walls yet. I have several frames all with 3 photo slots in them so that I can put a picture of Sally, Jess and Molly all in the same frame but it is still so painful I just cannot do it. I still have all of Sallys medidose trays with all her tablets in, I just cannot deal with throwing them away 😞 It hurts like hell doesnt it? Sorry for your loss too hun xxx
@saasher2012 wrote:
I also sympathise with you're loss and I think to some degree with all that you have suffered in a relatively short space of time are in shock as well, it's never easy I'm afraid I lost my little pal less than a year ago & I still catch myself when I least expect it looking or talking to her, I also have a beautiful painting of a beloved dog I lost over 10yrs ago & I still can't hang it up.but I'd rather have had the pain than not having the joy of the dogs that I've lost, ((((()))))
Thankyou books xxx
@bitsnknots wrote:I am so sorry to hear of all your troubles JJ. It's been a horrible couple of years for you and I can sympathise greatly with you. ((((((JJ))))))
Thankyou rose xxx
@rose2008-2008 wrote:Its a Heartbreaking feeling losing family or pets which are our family too!!. I only have to look at pictures and can still feel the pain. You need to give yourself time,,, ooohhh dear. Bless you
Thankyou Shona, I will have a look at many tears xxx
@shonafp wrote:nothing i say will take your pain away, but i know exactly what you mean when you say you feel cheated.
when you feel ready to look for a playmate for your gsd, have a look at many tears animal rescue. they have over 200 dogs looking for homes.
i don't know where you are in the country but they have fosterers with dogs almost everywhere. i currently have 2 bichons, a finnish spitz / x and a beagle and i'm in torquay.
currently they have young collies and young gsd's and gsd / x's on their site...
and lots of other breeds - from huskies to pekingeses 🙂
Thankyou myraandjim xxx
@myraandjim wrote:I'm so sorry to hear of your sadness and pain, I know how you feel as I have lost so so many dogs at varying ages, but the pain will ease over time, I promise. Just remember that by taking these rescue dogs you have given them all the love and care that they may well not have experienced if not for you - how they must have loved you for that. A good owner knows when it is time to let them go, and you have proved yourself to be one of the best. Take your time to grieve, one day you will be qable to remember with a smile as well as a tear. I know it will not be long before I have to face this again with both of mine, I just hope I can do the best for them just as you have done for yours.
Thankyou fishy. Its hard to describe the pain, stomach wrenching and so very broken hearted 😞 xxx
@fishpieface wrote:So sorry JJ, I can only echo what all the others have said, that is that time will heal. It feels so raw right
now but gradually it will become a little easier to bear. You've been through a tremendous amount in
just a couple of years, it's not surprising that you feel totally overwhelmed by it all.
Your Mollie, as all your much-loved dogs, knew how much you loved them and loved you as much, go easy
on yourself you will remember the fun times you had and smile.
Just above my computer desk is a photo of my gorgeous Paws Cat, who died aged 21, eight years ago.
I still miss him, I loved him to bits, but I can smile at some of the funny things he did now. I haven't replaced
Paws, I couldn't do that, but I have opened my home and heart to two more gorgeous and much loved
cats from a rescue centre, and one little black one I found on a busy dual carriageway.
One day that empty, alone and such sad feeling might make a teeny space for another needy little creature,
but only you will know if and when such a time has come.
Take care my friend, nice to see you on here but sad that it's in such circumstances.
Hugs,
Fishy x
Thankyou blackadder xxx
@ed_blackadder_1 wrote:
So sorry to hear your sad news. It is true it is heartbreaking when you loose a beloved friend. I too have lost several animals over the years my beloved cat being the last one last year I still miss her but have lovely and fond memories of her and the other friends we have lost. When you are ready there are plenty of dogs that would love to come to you and get the love that your other pets have.
Chin up love.
Thankyou captain and yes I know you are all here for me to talk to xxx
@captainbovine wrote:oh JJ I'm so sorry for your losses, it's so hard when we loose our little friends, but they are waiting for us, to be re-united with us once again.
have comfort in the knowledge you loved her dearly as much as she loved you. You did everything you could for her and she knew it.
I hope things go better for you in the future. We are all here for you to talk to you know that. xxx
Thanks again saasher xxx
@saasher2012 wrote:
I'm so sorry for all you're troubles, sadness & pain, it's our lot I'm afraid that those we love most either human or a pet, we will eventually lose, & that pain is acute as most of us know only too well!.
Nothing anyone of can say will make that grief any less however take comfort in the fact that you loved them well & it was returned tenfold, yes i know it was a young age in which to lose a pet but in dog terms everything was crammed into that young life with no regrets. I feel for you!. ((()))
Thanks darkcastle, made me cry reading your post, made me cry reading them all to be honest, it hurts so bad, I still cannot believe she has gone to be honest xxx
@dark_castle1 wrote:I am so sorry to hear you have now lost Molly but your heart has not been ripped out, it is just Molly moving all that you have held dear to you to make a space for her. Now she has joined them in your heart you will never ever truly lose any of them because you now carry them with you wherever you go in your heart and although it will take a lot of time too get over the grief of not having Molly actually there with you, the time will come when you will be able to look back at the wonderful times you had together and realise although she had a short life here on earth it was filled with love and affection from you.
Play well at Rainbow Bridge Molly with your friends and my Suzie until we all meet again.
Thankyou rose, means a lot that you are all here to talk to xxx
@rose2008-2008 wrote:Im so sorry that you have lost your beloved dog Molly. You have also had life tough, and youve been tested to your limits!. You have the strength to get through this very bad time and come through to the other side stronger my dear. You might think that will never happen with your grief at the moment ,but it will!!!. You have to believe that!. You have support on here from friends and your not alone!.
. Your in my thoughts and im sending you a hug. ((())).
Thankyou towery xxx
@**towery** wrote:((((((((((J.J.))))))))
im sorry your heart is aching JJ. hope that getting it out has helped you
RIP Molly
oh JJ sending you hugs
We had pets as kids, and remember the loss
I refused to get another pet in the house, but I heard of a wee doggy which was going to be put down, I travelled miles to rescue it.
scamp is now nine, and couldnt even think about him not being here
so I send my love and hugs to you and our other FHG friends who are devastated.
Hi everyone, thankyou for all your replies, it means a lot.
Apologies for not having come back to post sooner, had a lot going on sorting out getting my evil b*****d of an ex gone as well as all of his belongings and just been too overwhelmed with all that has happened.
I knew I would cry when I came back to see my replies and I have been, warms my heart though that as soon as I started crying my big baby bear shadow came straight to me and gave me a hug and licked away my tears, strange isn;t it how they just know that we are hurting.
I am still in shock to be honest, I still cannot believe that she has left us despite having her casket home with me. It just hurts so bad knowing that she was so young and Shadow misses her terribly as we all do 😞
I know that she will be running free now with Sally and Jess and I know one day I will be reuinited with them all as well as all the other furbaby cats I have lost over the years but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
I am torn right now as to whether to look at getting a companion for Shadow, Molly was his best friend and they played and snuggled and ran and just loved life together and I cannot even begin to imagine what he must be thinking now she is not here 😞
He crys and howls whenever I leave him and he never did that when Molly was here. Hurts to hear him so sad anytime that I go out but its at bedtime that it wrenches my heart more because he does not have his pal to snuggle up to anymore and he must be so very sad and heartbroken bless him.
You are all wonderful people and it is heartwarming to know that I can come here and talk, cry, scream, rant, it means a lot to me xxx
Thankyou tara, tough times, very tough in fact 😞 xxx
@hightara wrote:oh JJ sending you hugs
We had pets as kids, and remember the loss
I refused to get another pet in the house, but I heard of a wee doggy which was going to be put down, I travelled miles to rescue it.
scamp is now nine, and couldnt even think about him not being here
so I send my love and hugs to you and our other FHG friends who are devastated.
Hi Shona
No Shadow didn't come to the vets with us as she was just too poorly and yeah I appreciate he is wondering where she is, wish they could talk and understand exactly what we are saying to them 😞
She was left at the vets and collected by Green Pastures, a fantastic pet cremation company and she had an individual cremation and was then returned home to me in her casket, all 3 of my dogs have the same casket and they are all in my lounge 😞
This is Mollys, she has her favourite squeaky toy with her :(:(:( xxx
