How do YOU cope with pet loss?

[carolyorkie2010]

Its a week tomorrow since I lost Poppy; still very tearful but I know it will take time. I'm collecting her ashes tomorrow. I've planted a little memorial garden and am also making myself a book of her life which I am finding very therapeutic. Just wondered how others cope with losing a much-loved pet? And what you do to remember them by?

[chickengrandma-2008]

We don't have ashes, we just bury them in the garden.  We don't have memorials and apart from numerous photos we find we don't need anything to remind us, we remember them easily.  But each to his own. I hope you feel better soon and can look back and just feel the happiness rather than the sadness.xx.

[wizilizi]

It is the same as any other grief; there's a huge gap in your life which that loved one filled.  Only time, plus the type of things which you are doing, will help.  There is no shame in tears - let them flow, hard though it seems at the time.  You will come to terms with your loss, & eventually as CG says, your mind will be full of good memories

Our family is going through similar - our 16 year old dog Topper died 2 weeks ago - just of old age.  We miss him soooooo much, but are starting to remember & laugh at some of his antics.  Looking at puppy photos of him surprisingly helped us - we were able to think of his young vitality rather than the infirm old boy he'd become

My son wrote a touching on-line eulogy, & referred to him as 'my hairy li'l brother' 

That had OH & I weeping, but of course for the children, who are now in their twenties, they'd grown up with him.  Our dog was a big part of the family

I am sorry that you've lost part of yours too xxxxxx

[bitsnknots]

I think it is up to each individual person as to how they remember their pets.  We didn't have our dogs ashes but we still have an album full of photos of him even though it's over 30 years since we had to have him put to sleep.  Even now, it's the little things that still remind me of him and certain pieces of classical music bring back memories of him running around in the park.

(((((Carol))))) You will never forget Poppy but it does get easier but it does take time.  You will never forget Poppy and you will remember all the happy times you had with her.

[Anonymous]

It is hard but like all losses from within the family the grieving gets less and normal life returns. You dont forget any of them, but you get to a point where you can think about a good memory without being devastated. Things like my2nd GSD acting like a nanny/tutor to the puppy and teaching him every trick in the book, including dropping a ball in a visitors handbag so he could search the bag, but just be getting his ball out and not being naughty at all!!  🐵

I smile whenever I catch the present dogs (12 & 14 now) doing something he taught them. Funnily enough his dog toys are at the bottom of the dog toybox and they will both get them out occasionally, just wash them lovingly and put them back. So I guess its pretty much the same for them too?

When my first GSD went I had a rose bush that had just never flowered. I'd threatened it with the compost heap a week earlier, but after I got back from the vets it had put out 4 gorgeous heavenly scented flowers, and I swear I never saw a bud anywhere on it ever so. Its on my patio right now 25 years later and still putting out beautiful crimson flowers with a heavenly scent. Its survived 2 moves and a few accidents as well.So I guess that's a pretty good memorial.

[margaret*e]

Sorry about your loss, Carol, and Wizilizi.

It's 3 weeks tomorrow since my Amber went.

It's very hard to cope with the loss of a pet, as with as any loss, but as someone else said it'll ease with time, in the mean time try to think of their long and happy life.

[caryl576]

Remember them in your heart,

grieve as long as you feel you need to (and stay well away from anybody who utters the dispicable words 'it was only an animal')

then consider whether you can adopt another pet in need of a loving home from a rescue organisation.

A new pet never replaces the old, but becomes beloved in their turn too

[stampingpat]

Sending big hugs. I usually cry for weeks on end. I even cry over the hogs that pass away. 😞 It doesn't get easier if anything it gets harder. And my poor Roxie has just been diagnosed with malignant tumors too. 😞 Still trying to get to grips with that and what we will do. The vet was supposed to call us yesterday, but we didn't get a call. I think she was as much in shock as we are. Not sure how bad it is and whether surgery would make things worse. And taking in account her age..... Not sure how big a risk it is going to be. So guess at the moment it is a matter of time here and we will give her as much love as possible and spoil her rotten.

[carolyorkie2010]

So sorry to hear about Roxie; hope you have heard from the vet by now. I've just been to collect Poppy's ashes; they are in a lovely little pink pottery urn; wasn't sure what to expect, but I am really pleased with it. I feel so relieved now that I have got her back home. Thinking of you pat, I know what its like, all this waiting to hear. You can't settle. Take care. Sending you a big hug. xxxxxx

[captainbovine]

I always got a picture frame and put a nice piccy of my loved pet in it. Of course it used to make me cry at first but somehow it made me feel better. We have loads of pics of the dogs and of course over time you begin to see the funny side of things.

I'm sorry you are still grieving, big hugs to all of you who have lost a pet recently, or at any other time (((((()))))))

[myraandjim]

Take your time  to grieve and do it your way - whatever suits you best is the right way. I still think that I hear Skye moving around and still talk to her when I feel I need to. We are just getting to the stage that we can talk about her with a smile and it has taken us almost 3 months to get to that point. I took on another rescue a few months ago because I could no longer bear the huge gap in my life and that has helped because the new one came with problems so she keeps me busy, but it is up to the individual whether to get another dog or not, for some it is right others it isn't. You will know if or when it is the right time to get another dog but in the meantime if you want to cry/scream or anything else then do so. It will get easier with time, I promise.

[shonafp]

now that poppy is back home with you,

here's a poem taken from the ' many tears ' animal rescue website

' i'm still here '

 i stood by you, by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep. I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well. I'm fine. I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast. I watched you pour the tea. You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me. I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today. You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there. I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there. It's possible for me to be so near you everyday - to say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew. In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you. The day is over ...... I smile and watch you yawning and say, "Good night, God bless - I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand there side by side. I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out . . . then come home to be with me.

Author Unknown

[carolyorkie2010]

Aww that's lovely, Shona, thanks for sharing it. I hope it will bring comfort to others on here who have recently lost their beloved pets too xxxx

[merc1_clocks]

Ach shona...I lost it there...me eyes are leaking

[chickengrandma-2008]

I'm not being crytical, everyone is different, but poems like that just make me all the more upset. That made me want to cry and I haven't lost a pet for 10 years.

[captainbovine]

anyone got a tissue......

[carolyorkie2010]

Used all mine up, crying over Poppy!!  Starting to feel a bit better now that I have her ashes.

[fishpieface]

Ahh Carol, a lot of us have been there and know just how you feel.  We probably all

try to cope as best we can, in our own way, doing and thinking what makes us feel

as good as we can.

That's how you should grieve Carol, your way, the way that feels best for you as there

is no right and wrong way to grieve, we are all different but we've all (well, most of us)

have been there.

I'm not just saying this but the intensity of grief gets better with time, how much time

kind of depends on all manner of things.  It finally gives way to happy memories of

your much loved companion but you never forget, they are always in our hearts.

[aernethril]

When I lost my little dog (had him for 13 years), it took (and I didn't realise this until after the event) 9 months before I could bring myself to scatter his ashes in one of the places he loved the best to go for long walks.

I didn't want to bury his ashes in the garden as I was not settled where I was living and felt I did not want to 'leave him behind' when I left, so sending his remains into the world where he loved to be, just came to me and that's what I did, one lovely sunny autumn day.

Up until then, I'd probably just cried nearly every night more or less but it eased over time, although I still cry for him now.  And that was back in 1997.

I didn't have the lifestyle to get another friend and I'm also glad I didn't as he was a rare individual in so many ways and I always worried that I would want to have the same qualities in another pet and it would not happen.

Someone else I knew would always go straight out and get another dog just a week or so after the last one had been put down - I couldn't do it, but she was happy that way.

So I think, with any bereavement, different people do different things to come to terms with the parting.  But there is no time limit on how you mourn losing a loved one of any kind.