Alzheimer's related - A big ask please.

[**forum-decorum**]

May I ask please, for your help. Especially those who have experience with alzheimers sufferers - either professional carers or carers of family members.

Sadly my aged father of 85 years has become bad enough to need the care of a residential home and we have now had to admit him into the care of a wonderful home. Wonderful facilities with lovely and very dedicated carers who Dad does seem to have taken to.

On one of his care reviews though we made a request that he gets more attention in the daily activities side of his needs as we observed that whenever we visited he did seem to be just sitting around most of the time with not much to stimulate him mentally. They of course made note of our concerns and understood what we were saying about Dad (and other residents), they did state however that it can very very difficult to find activities that are suitable for people like my Dad.

Today when we went to visit him I saw,  taped to the window of the entrance to the part of the home where he and a few other residents live, a note requesting visiters to submit any ideas they may have for new suitable activities for the residents, and possibly any fund raising ideas to help the home deliver a good activities programme.

Well, I myself have not had any previous experience with alzheimers sufferers and their needs and would like to ask for your help in coming up with good ideas for suitable activities for people like my Dad. Perhaps carers in other homes know of some good ones that they wouldn't mind passing on to me so, I in turn can pass them on to my Dad's carers and help the home and it's other residents.

I would be most grateful for any input anyone may be able to offer. many thanks on behalf of my Dad and his new found friends.:-)

[bitsnknots]

Sorry but I just don't know what I can say to help.  It must be awful seeing someone close to you deteriorate so quickly like that.  

Sending you plenty of hugs and just to let you know that you are in my thoughts.

((((((((((()))))))))))

[auntieannie44]

Hi , just to let you know I understand exactly how you feel.  My Mum had a stroke and survived very well for 17 years but the last 8 were in a nursing home as she was too unsteady on her feet to stay in her own home.  Everything was fine untill one day she started having trouble swallowing, within a couple of days it had become impossible.  The home got in touch with the local hospital, a Consultant came out to see her and said he would have no problems treating her immediately as she was so bright .  They got in touch with me and I went in to bundle her into the car, get her to the hospital and get the proceedure done then bring her back.  I was shocked rigid when she said to me 'you promised I would never go into hospital again' and no matter how much we all tried to tell her she wasn't going in but just attending as a day patient, she wouldn't have it. She then got into bed, the staff fitted a morphine pump as she was seriously dehydrated by then, and we all sat round and waited for her to die.  It took me a long while to arrive at the conclusion that it was her own choice and that at 91 she was entitled to do what she did, but it was the waiting that distressed me most, so you have my total sympathy, it is one of the hardest things to do but at the end if you can look back and say 'I did everything that I could  to help them' then in time you will come to accept and the distress with fade.  You have my best wishes

[**forum-decorum**]

Thank you Books and Auntieannie. Such lovely words xxxxxx

I know I am not the only  one going through this type of heart ache, my heart goes out to all you/those who have been through or going through similar. xxx

[captainbovine]

I'm sorry this has happened to your father. I am thinking of you....

[stan3502]

Sorry no real advice but wanted to send you a cyber hug xxxx

[chickengrandma-2008]

Just think, at 86 he can't complain really.  It is time for him to go.  We had to watch my dad go through similar, although he didn't have dementia as such but he was chair/bed ridden for the last few months.  We all knew (himself included) that it was only a matter of time........a waiting game and to be honest it was a relief all round when it happened.

Funny how when you started this, a year ago, alison said about sunlight and vitamin D and they just said on the news a couple of days ago that a link has been found between lack of vitamin D and Alzheimer's!

All best wishes for the future anyway.xx.

[cookiecookuk]

i work in a care home and our residents have mixed levels of dementia and i have been doing quiz nights for them once a month and i base the questions aroud when they would have been younger like food the war early tv ect and although the ressies may not be able to answer the questions we have a member of staff sit with each team to encourage them and then when  i give the answers they love reminising about things and they really love these nights .we try to encourage memory use..

[wskneil]

Depending on how Alzheimers is affecting him, it is often worse for those on the outside. Music is thought to be a good way of stimuting the memories locked in the mind
 My Dad died on wednesday  from pnuemonia as a complication of mesothelioma, and my MIL has terminal stomach cancer and has very little time left with us. But Alzheimers is particualry nasty as it destoys the people we love, but leaves the shell with us, My mum died of cancer 8 years ago. breast cancer that spread and ended up in her brain, but we were lucky (!!!) that she just regressed into a naughty girl and then just lapsed into a coma
Hugs and stay strong 

[dairyview123]

Hi Forum D, so sorry to read about your Dads falls and how he has ended up, it is very upsetting not to be able to do more for him yourselves but the most important thing is just being there.

He will recognise now and again either a voice or face so try to be strong and keep doing what you have been doing.

Big hugs ((( ))) for you and your Dad.......x

[fishpieface]

Hi ForumDecorum, sorry to hear about your Dad, it must often be painful to see.

An elderly relative of my husband's (not quite sure of the relationship but we called her Auntie)

was in a care home, not alziemers but just a nursing home for the last year of her life, and before

that she was in a home but not specifically a nursing home.  Both these places were lovely, run

by people who really cared and they ran allsorts of activities for the residents from keep fit to

crafts and allsorts inbetween.  Nothing was compulsory, it was all stimulating and they had stuff

to suit all levels of ability, for instance, those who couldn't stand to do gentle keep-fit would have

the exercises adapted to do sitting down.

One thing our Aunty Dora did appreciate though was letters and we would regularly send letters,

often only a page, but she relished them and kept them all (as we found out when we cleared her

stuff out).  My husband unfailingly sent a postcard everytime he went anywhere, for work or for

pleasure - the staff said they'd never known anyone get so many postcards, and how she loved

receiving them.  That's something more individual I know, but it would stimulate and interest him

and he might show them to others as our Aunty did.

The residents were also encouraged to paint/draw and their pictures hung all around the walls

of the home - some of them were very talented and it stimulated conversation when others looked

at them.

Not a bad idea for the home to ask for suggestions, they'll probably be inundated with so many lovely ideas

they won't have time to do them all!  Another one, as Christmas approaches, they could make simple

decorations out of scraps of this and that, they could ask people to donate some stuff to make them.

[cookiecookuk]

they do like singing and this month i had a quiz round all about old songs like hang out your washing on the seigfried line and underneath the archers.etc and they all had a sing song and they loved it.i think we woke all of the other ressies up.and for some ressies who sometimes never sppeak it was good to see them singing..

[rose2008-2008]

Forum just sending you hugs((()))((())). This is a difficult time for you and your family and your dear dad!!!. Its terrible this Alzheimers disease, and upsetting to see it happen to loved ones. Im thinking of you hun.

[**forum-decorum**]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind posts, love and encouragement. I really do appreciate it, it is amazing just what others kind words can do.  xxx

[chickengrandma-2008]

Sorry to hear of your loss too wskneil, and the fact that your mum is so ill. I certainly know what living day by day and hoping for the best is like.  Best wishes.x.