Before I venture out for some much-needed fresh air - I've been playing around with an ancient laptop, and this has led to some interesting additional reading.
The laptop is a Toshiba Satellite 320CDT - 233Mhz Pentium 1 (I think) and a mighty 96mb of RAM. It came without a hard drive but eBay to the rescue, as usual. It now has a mighty 6gb HDD (I couldn't FIND an original 3.8gb version without spending serious money), and the total twenty-odd quid has provided even more entertainment than the equivalent value in Dr Tennent's tonic would have done. (Absolutely no practical justification for the whole thing. 'Tis fun.)
Using the machine's restore discs (CD and floppy - a new experience for me - doubtless brings back memories/shudders for all you experienced cybernauts), I reinstalled Windows 95. This only took about five hours - no exaggeration. Perhaps the CD drive is on its last legs or something.
It works amazingly well, and is surprisingly quick. No ways was I shelling out for a suitable version of MS Office, so I installed the last version of Open Office that W95 could handle (thank goodness for OldApps.com.)
Much battling got a PCMCIA ethernet card intalled and even allowed a brief connection to the internet. Early Windoze+networking seem to = This Isn't Fun Anymore. After four attempts, Avast! was installed. Which brought everything to an effective halt, even with just one provider.
My plan was to try Linux, anyway. W95 only used 2gb of the HDD (something to do with FAT 16 apparently), so the remaining 4gb was split between ext3 (in retrospect perhaps a bad move - ext2 might be better on such a slow machine?) and linux swap. I've never seen the GParted CD take so long to load, but it did work eventually.
DSL and Puppy both ran reasonably from live CDs - unclear whether they were using the 256mb of swap. Installation proved a different matter.
DSL just wouldn't install. I suspect someone with command-line knowledge and confidence might force the issue. Installing from the GUI opens a terminal, anyway - after a while this simply vanished; no further activity and no sign of anything having been written to the hard drive.
Puppy did eventually install (I chose the "retro" version in deference to the vintage of the equipment.) It took ages, though, and is nowhere near as fast as it is on any other computer I've tried (eg the blistering T22 with its 800-odd mhz CPU and 256mb RAM.) Both Firefox and SeaMonkey take forever to open and to load pages, and one gets frequent warnings of unresponsive script - even after resetting things in about:config as per Mozilla's suggestions.
Interestingly, installing NoScript has actually speeded things up and reduced the number of unresponsive script warnings - which strongly suggests that the frequent advice on this board to speed up browsing with NoScript is very sound. The result is more dramatic with an ancient machine.
It does look, though, as if Linux and old machinery don't necessarily mix. Giving credit where it's due, the older versions of Windows (95 and 98) are incredibly modest in their hardware requirements. They just seem to crash a lot, demand the insertion of the installation CD any time one tries to do anything, suffer "fatal exceptions" and "illegal actions," and lots of bluescreens/freezeups/the sulks especially when forced to restart following a neurosis attack.
Found a very interesting read here:
http://techpatterns.com/forums/about597-10.html
dealing with these matters. It seems that Linux's superior stability comes at a price in terms of performance, if I read it right - see the comments about Windows's "unified system" with the GUI communicating directly with the kernel etc vs Linux's more modular approach.
So - perhaps one should be wary of recommending Linux for really low-spec computers (except to command-line fanatics who wouldn't be seeking advice here anyway.) RAM seems to be the major limiting factor, with 128mb a practical extreme lower limit for Puppy and 256mb for other lightweights - Slitaz flatly refused to run on this machine. CPU-wise, I'm still not sure - but 233mhz is less than wonderful.
Since this has turned into an essay, anyway - I did a little googling to find out whether Puppy was a security worry (seems to run in root and nothing else) - still haven't found the answer, but did stumble across "the first Linux botnet." It's fairly recent and doesn't seem huge cause for concern - just two of many articles:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/12/linux_zombies_push_malware/
http://www.itworld.com/security/77499/first-linux-botnet
All seems to reinforce the favourite tenet of senior members of this board that the most effective anti-virus is the one between the ears...