I WAS AT HOME WATCHING A FILM WHEN MY WIFE INTERRUPTS, "RONNY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW."
I LOOKED AT HER AND SAID, "FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ELECTRICIAN WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."
THEN THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."
I SAID, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE FRIGIDAIRE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? DOH! I DON'T THINK SO."
"FINE," SHE SAYS, "THEN, RONNY DARLING, COULD YOU AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK."
"I'M NOT A FLIPPIN' HANDYMAN AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE CARPENTER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS. I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!" ..... AND OFF I GO.
I WENT TO THE PUB FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS................................. I STARTED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW I TREATED MY WIFE, AND DECIDED TO GO HOME AND APOLOGISE.
AS I WALKED INTO THE HOUSE I NOTICED THAT THE STEPS WERE NOW FIXED. AS I ENTERED THE HOUSE , I SAW THAT THE HALL LIGHT WAS WORKING AND THE FRIDGE DOOR WAS FIXED. "SWEETHEART," I ASKED HER, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"
SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED, ... JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM, OR BAKE A CAKE."
I ASKED, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?"
SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO.. DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!"
