UK Problem Solved

[tommy.irene]

Letter to Mr. Cameron - Genius!!

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[blackburn_stevie]

Copied and sent to Jack Straw (with suitable alterations)

[geographically*challenged]

Well sorted out there tommy.irene

I'll donate 1p om muy DSS towrds Mr Camerons pension.

I think thats a large enough rise for him.

[mr-expresso]

TOMMY...

Do you know what 10 million x one million is?

We would be bankrupt before the 10million would be able to spend it...

[tommy.irene]

TOMMY...

Do you know what 10 million x one million is?

We would be bankrupt before the 10million would be able to spend it...

yes its what the UK gives to other countries each year and the EU..

[mr-expresso]

Well in that case Tommy can you implement your idea..

[upthecreekyetagain]

Give all the MPs a million pound each on condition that they retire immediately. 

Change the electoral rules so that the parties candidates belong to cannot be shown on ballot papers nor on any electoral publicity.

That way we would get a Parliament consisting of members elected on their individual manifestos rather than dictated by a party.

Members of the cabinet including Prime Minister appointed by a free vote in the Commons.

Abolish whips and make it a criminal offense to try and influence an MP's vote by way of inducements, either negative or positive.

[spawnjohnuk]

well said creeky

[flower-buds]

Brilliant!

[mustard-tree]

Change the electoral rules so that the parties candidates belong to cannot be shown on ballot papers nor on any electoral publicity.

That way we would get a Parliament consisting of members elected on their individual manifestos rather than dictated by a party.

Creeky, that very same thing was covered in an episode of Yes Prime Minister about 25 years ago

Professor Marriott explains that under his scheme local MP's become genuinely independent. Their re-election will depend on the people and not on the backing of the local party. This will mean the end of the power of the party machine and the party whips

[mustard-tree]

Steve, did you notice that the letter from Jack Straw to David Cameron included a very loaded comment

"would be grateful for your views on his plan and comments as to why the economy CANNOT be fixed in this way"

[upthecreekyetagain]

Change the electoral rules so that the parties candidates belong to cannot be shown on ballot papers nor on any electoral publicity.

That way we would get a Parliament consisting of members elected on their individual manifestos rather than dictated by a party.

Creeky, that very same thing was covered in an episode of Yes Prime Minister about 25 years ago

Professor Marriott explains that under his scheme local MP's become genuinely independent. Their re-election will depend on the people and not on the backing of the local party. This will mean the end of the power of the party machine and the party whips

So that's where I dragged the idea up from - I loved that show - have both series of Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister on DVD as well as the books.

Will have to have another look at that episode.

[blackburn_stevie]

Mr Ex ..... Simples, (squeek) ... I didn't see it. 🙂

M-T .... Ah, but which way is it loaded? Is he saying, "Just tell this pond scum why it won't work as the idiot has described it." ..... or is he saying, "OK, Smart Alec. Answer that one if you can."

[mustard-tree]

Creeky, the episode you want is Power to the People, Series 2, Episode 5

[tommy.irene]

They are giving Maggie a good send of with a £10 million furneal.....that money could keep a hospital open......Good job Stevie..now we wait on Dave to answer the letter..

[tommy.irene]

Steve, did you notice that the letter from Jack Straw to David Cameron included a very loaded comment

"would be grateful for your views on his plan and comments as to why the economy CANNOT be fixed in this way"

I would like to here why it cant be fixed that way... I await the outcome..

[renomarvinm]

Ah, er, on number five, would it be allright to substitute porn magazines instead of the tobacco. That stuff's hard on your lungs, you know....

[start-the-fire]

Good idea, but inflation would rocket out of control

[tommy.irene]

10  pensioners wont be getting their £1 million each..............In no way shape or form should the money for this funeral be paid for from the public purse...i