Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

[inajiffyuk]

Don't all rush now!

Not quite sure about the role of Scrum Master!

http://www.linkedin.com/job/c-ebay-jobs?_mSplash=1

[Anonymous]

"So its a BS name for a manager then??"

Nailed it in one!

[grandad-dave]

I stll think there all on Scrumpy

[angelah1847]

It's all 'corporate speak' and don't forget we're talking 'US corporate speak' here.

All those job titles came out of one of their 'blue sky thinking' meetings with loads of flipcharts and post it notes followed by a death by powerpoint session

[jambuttyminer]

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@Anonymous wrote:

 One of the job descriptions wants someone "evangelistic" about Ebay/Paypal!!

I wonder if the people who write this nonsense have their sleeves rolled up and wear red braces?!

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I think they'd need to dictate it as their sleeves would be tied at the back

[mrgum]

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@temperate_porcine wrote:

It's all too complicated for me, I guess I won't be applying for a job at eBay unless they have a position for the bloke who empties the office bins.

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There's is a position available at the mo i've been told as it's quite a task due to the amount of cr*p and rubbish in the office bins.

All that have applied for and been accepted into the position of ''Billybay The Bins'' have one by one been demoted and currently are answering the phones in the CS department.

[milly*fiory]

Under the Human Resources jobs, there is one with the title: Snr Manager, Tax Compliance and Controversy. 

I wonder what the Controversy is?

[freakypeepshow]

I think they outsource the bins to China now where theyre used to store our shop listings.

[benedict1066]

In the printing trade we have always had 'Programmatic Guillotines' - means you can set up sets of measurements for cutting............

[grandad-dave]

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@benedict1066 wrote:

In the printing trade we have always had 'Programmatic Guillotines' - means you can set up sets of measurements for cutting............

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Bit of useless info. I served my time as a Linotype Operator

[benedict1066]

Pretty useless, yes - just pointing out that 'programmatic' was a word really.  Linotype - bit before my time, I'm afraid...................

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

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@benedict1066 wrote:

... just pointing out that 'programmatic' was a word really ..............

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I stand corrected educated.

[richardmsstuff]

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@**caution**opinion_ahead wrote:

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@benedict1066 wrote:

... just pointing out that 'programmatic' was a word really ..............

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I stand corrected educated.

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Clearly, it is etymologically related to programmate, programmation, programmatism, programmatistic, programmatistically, &c.

[ruth550_2]

The sad thing is that people who use so much "corporate speak" actually believe they are being clever and are impressing the lower ranks .......

[inajiffyuk]

I think in reality, most of the people don't actually know what half the stuff means, but go along with it anyway as not to come across as stupid for not understanding it themselves!

[tabithas-wardrobe]

I am in the minority (and probably on my own!) as I would love to work for eBay in one of their contact centres.

It's my line of work (management) and the only thing stopping me is living a bit further than a commutable distance from Dublin/Waterford

*runs and hides*

[start-the-fire]

Better definition here-

http://www.mountaingoatsoftware.com/agile/scrum/scrummaster/

[norseway53]

Shipping Logistics based in Twickenham - global shipping program.

If they are gearing up for another round of major changes then I'd guess that rolling out the gsp to the UK is on the cards. 

[sheena-b]

....you reckon!!!

It's all bulls do dahs! If you devise an incomprehensible way of structuring a working model then you shouldn't be put anywhere near a project team! What they are basically saying is .....what have you achieved since we last met up - did you meet your target - what are you doing - what you hope to achieve in the timeframe - do you foresee any problems affecting anyone else...... Unless I mis read all that! If you put it down simplistically on paper your salary goes down by $1000's!!!!

If you can bamboozle people into thinking you are doing something incredible you charge shed loads for doing sweet FA! That's where all our increased fees are going! It's exactly the same rowlocks when you go to university.....once did a project based on encouraging the usage of plain English.....when asked if (given the topic) we should write our thesis in 'plain English', we were told under absolutely NOT!!! It's all about exclusivity....

Personally I'm up for the Snr Man International Tax Compliance job.......I'd make they comply with UK Taxes methinks!

[sheena-b]

But are you fluent in cattle excrement? That's essential as far as I can tell!!!

[designer_label_girl]

The typo in the very first sentence of the very first job ad doesn't inspire confidence.