Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[bill-xxx]

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:

(printed on the bottom of the box):

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! You lose!) :^O

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.) :^O

On a Japanese food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Hmmmm, now I'm curious) :^O

[algasmoon]

Hiya, just a quick passing Vodka and Lemondade please when you're ready, and can anyone explain this 'snipe' thing to the blond please? :^O

[jake*the*plumber]

On a Japanese machine.....

Must installed in the holizontal

I think it needed levelling before use :^O

[suzieseaside]

Hi algas - it's when you get to the 00 post - 100, 200, or on long threads even 000 - 1,000 etc.

[bill-xxx]

Hi Algas ~ one vodka & lemonade :-x

[algasmoon]

Cheers Bill, and thanks Suzie (one thing less to wonder about) :^O

[09charliegirl]

Just orf for a while...

Be back soon...:-)

What's this nipping orf? 😮 Tsk!

I pop in to see if everything's going OK....and...

You've gorn orf for a nap....:^O

CCTV has had to be replaced

Harry! I shall be having words...B-)

and Suzie demanding beef dinners! :^O

if YOU are cooking them Suzie, I guess it's OK...:-x

btw, ARE you a good cook?:-)

Hi Jake:-x

Welcome to the Bar.....even with those exotic ...erm... smokes! B-) :^O

I'm having a margarita....

A "snipe" Algas, is if you can post on a significant number of the thread like

100, 200 ......some like to see if they can pip others to the post! :^O

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

You can also snipe 69.

Or you could ask Bill and Charlie to put roast snipe (it is a small bird ;-)) and chips on the menu! :^O

[algasmoon]

there's an echo in here 🙂

thanks charlie

[09charliegirl]

:^O

Snap, Suzie!

Algas, I think there is...is....is...! :^O

We charge extra for echoes ..

and for cooking snipes Caution! 😮

[bill-xxx]

Hi Charlie :-x

I had not gorn orf for a nap, thank you very much! I have been arranging with 'Dead Piano Players plc' to collect last night's casualty from under one of the tables! :^O

How are you...?

[suzieseaside]

There's an echo in here

Not enough soft furnishings - how about a comfy corner with some sofas and big bean bags 😄

And maybe a handsome young barman to winch us out of them? :^O  I think Geoge's cousin is available 😉

[algasmoon]

(whispers to whoever is sitting next to me at the bar) Im not sure Bill and Charlie expected their bar to be a bar-restaurant, so maybe a sign saying 'sunday lunch is now being poured' might help deter the roast expectees 😄

[Anonymous]

Geoge ?????????:^O Sounds promising...B-)

[Anonymous]

Well...they started this malarkey, so if they want this pub to survive they better get moving.....rapido. ]:)

[09charliegirl]

We're hoping to use Caution's "dishwasher" Suzie, will that be OK? :^O

Sofas and bean bags have been ordered btw....but John Lewis are haggling about delivering to this area, especially after the incident last night! 😮

I see Harry's scarpered..... again! X-(:^O

I'm fine Bill.:-x...you OK?

Jokes flowing nicely? Oh, gawd, shouldn't have asked that...there'll be another 100 10 along in a minute! :^O

[bill-xxx]

I'm fine Bill...:-x. you OK?

Fine thanks, Charlie :-x Glad you are. Also, might need your assistance with a few troublemakers :O:^O

Jokes flowing nicely? Oh, gawd, shouldn't have asked that...there'll be another 100 10 along in a minute! :^O

:^O

Have you heard the one about the shower...? 😮 :-):-D:^O

[Anonymous]

Scarpered again????????

I have never left your place. Lay my head down on that cheap table with formica top and haven't moved since...I'm stuck to whatever someone spilled on it.....

If....someone would have bothered cleaning it..I would have been on my merry way...X-(

[bill-xxx]

Right, where was I...? Oh yes...:-D

The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is, they all run out except this one old man. So the devil walks up to him and says

"Do you know who I am?" and the old man sips his beer and answers

"yep".

The Devil says "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" The old man looks over and says

"I've been married to your sister for 27 years, why the hell should I be scared of you." 😄

[09charliegirl]

...and she's left her mule here, Bill, he's been eating some ciggies left on the back step....

seems happy enough though! 😮 :^O

No, not heard the one about the shower...is it a good one? B-) 😮 :^O