the buyer has not sent me a return of the item to date

[malymax01983]

the buyer has not sent me a return of the item to date

[tressygirl]

No return of the item,  or no notification from eBay that the item has been posted back to you,  then you do not refund.

Sit tight,  and wait for the case to time out and close,  30 days from opening.

[tobiasd4]

If you refunded 1st, then buyer won't be expected to return item.