Book titles - any more ideas?

[onemorewonthurt]

Elf hypnosis by Si Cologist

[lindum-49]

The Secret Of Wishing All The Irish Authors A HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY! By Bea Gorrah

................I have found it only takes ONE pint of Guinness to get me **bleep**ed! I'm not sure if it is the 10th or 11th though!!!!!!!!!!!!.........happy day everybody!

[littleme61_6]

What Began As A Religious Feast Celebration By Patrick Daye

Oo, it do be the 17th today. Put the pint of Guiness down Lindum. 

[lindum-49]

Green Side Up By Lorne Layer

.....R 2B Shore Littleme...........only water nowadays unfortunately.

'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!'
                  

[littleme61_6]

Spending Too Much At The Clothes Shops By  B. Roake

[lindum-49]

How To Look Good & Save Loads Of Money By Charity Shoppes 

.........still can't get my head around a charity shop having a Sale though?............our village now has five charities catered for along our small high street.........and our last bank has now closed!.....ho hum, rural living I suppose.

[lindum-49]

Another Legend Says Goodbye To The World By Johnny B Goode

......Chuck Berry has passed away..........but his music will live on........RIP

[littleme61_6]

Keeping Up With Your Neighbours By Joan Zizz

.......Yes RIP Chuck Berry you will never be forgotten. 

[littleme61_6]

Dame Vera Lynn's 100th Birthday By Will Meetagain

[littleme61_6]

Making A Perfect Cup Of Tea By P. G. Tipps

[lindum-49]

How To Pack 20kgs For My Holiday When The Case Alone Weighs 6kg By Watt Doileaveout

.........at least EasyJet allows a decent overhead case size...... so tomorrow morning at 07.30 "I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane..."  to Malta for a week, hoping for sun, sea, no sand and cold glasses of Cisk..........."I'm all going on a Spring Holiday, No more cooking for a week.............." ...........hotel has wi-fi so may keep an eye or two on what is going on littleme...........I'll be brave going through security as well.............cheers, me

[littleme61_6]

Enjoying A Great Holiday In Malta By I. Will Joinyew 

.... Wishing you a great time Lindum, sure you will have fun, and much better weather than has been had lately in UK.   Erm, are you sure it is wise to pack those bright pink Mickey Mouse shorts and matching t-shirts? Yes be brave going through security, just put your innocent look on your face when you are boarding again to come back home. 

[m25jet]

How To Grow An Oak Tree by A. Corn

[littleme61_6]

Enjoying The Spring Weather By Sonny Rayes

[vanjim50]

It Ain't Over 'Til The Fat Lady Sings by Sally Airy

Hope the Maltese rain gods were kind to you,Richard.

To my eternal shame,i broke a long standing drinking record in one of the Maltese bars.Though,in my defence,i was a young man at the time.

[vanjim50]

Some Things Just Shouldn't Be Shown On Telly by Jenny Talia

[lindum-49]

Always Remembered As The Maltese "Canary" By Juan Overtheeight

......hibernation ended then my old friend? Out with a bang as the clocks went forward and the daffs started wilting...........really hope your well and tickitty boo and the mrs the same....no gremlins in the works telling you to slow down and stop.........just a quick visit out here for a week to recharge the batteries before the start of the outdoor bowls season.......now a Vice Captain so have to fly the flag each weekend of course..........guess which idiot got burnt rotten on day one last week when it wasn't really sunny.........my nose would do Henry Cooper proud at the moment..........back to blighty this Wednesday if HMRC allow us in when Brexit button pushed..............Malta is a lovely island and will be really nice when it is finished........lovely friendly people and they have lots of Cisk, don't drink at home but out here that beer is very nice.....doesnt hurt the Type2 either......off on a Hop On Hop Off Bus today to see again the top of the island......did Gozo last year.......ferry was ok as well. Stay awake and converse soon......cheers Richard the elder.

[lindum-49]

What Programmes I Have Been Watching On FreeView By Hugh Nose

sunny days out here and the swimming cossies get smaller round the hotel pool.........or the ladies get larger.........Cisk!

[lindum-49]

How To Wear Colourful Holiday Clothes And Get Away With It By Lynn Dumm

......got pulled apart by LGW security.........I know they are only doing there job but I told the guard that with my belt off and hands held high, feet apart in the scanning machine my jeans would fall down..........they did........embarrasment to me and the folks waiting to come in and those that had just gone through..........thank goodness my Donald Duck thong covered the parts that were'nt on show........they even looked through my wallet and at every item in my carry on case...........camera, lenses, dvd player, dvd's, cables, books etc....the whole 12.9 kgs were stretched out on the table........nothing found of course........ and to a "Have a nice day" I was released to repack...........grrrr

[littleme61_6]

Fun To Be Had In The Queue With Lin Dum By C. Curitee 

Sure you had a great holiday, and nice to look back over. 

[lindum-49]

Dreading The Return In 2 Days Time By Mustapha Larf & Jam Packedfull

........clean Union Jack undies needed & a stiff....wait for it........ British upper lip needed littleme..............don't normally think about going home this early so will pack with care..........pity the Maltese don't sell those large straw donkeys that we used to bring back from Spain.......he haw.......enjoying the sun and walking and not having to cook....now that's a good holiday.......orft to have a sundowner or two before the hotel dinner starts at 7pm..........Cisk all