Oh Cookie, I send you all my sympathy, poor girl. My brother, who was my mother's designated carer for 8 years, has recently gone through the same, after her death.
Now, he is not a man of many words, but he was almost in tears when he phoned and asked for my help - because just like you, he experienced the same. What if you do not have anyone to ask - or you don't know someone someone with access to a PC? So, I got him sorted out - but he's on the phone asking about this or that - and I'll Google it and hope for the best. From what I have seen and read we are going backwards to means testing and bedroom tax - I cannot tell you how angry it makes me.
He is a clever man, has a degree in something mathematical I could not begin to tell you about, and he found it hard to navigate around the system, doesn't matter who you are. Gave up his job because my mother was only supposed to live a year. A real short straw. I'll shurrup now because that's a whole other book.
I hope you get sorted 
nothing is ever easy when dealing with the unemployment agency.
hope you get it sorted soon Cookie .... onwards and upwards mate!!! xxx
The more I read from different people the more confused I get.
Fortunately I've never had to claim a penny in benefits of any kind in my life, so I can only go by what people write.
But on the one hand there are people complaining about people claiming benefits because they're too lazy to work, and they've never worked in their life, and on the other hand there are people saying they've worked but when they need a little help to see them over a bad patch, they can't get any.
So how come lazy people get help and sick or redundant people can't???
I'm confused.
CG - it is easy, have a family, claim benefits - then you are stuck on them. The whole system of cradle to grave state support is such that once on it you need to stay on it because it is so difficult to get back on it.
Imagine this, you are young, single Mum, trying to claim. First off you have no internet, then you have no or very intermittent phone signal, then you have no credit, you have no computer(irrelevant as you have no internet), computer access available at the local library but you have to take offspring with you, the library is only open 2 hours a few days a week anyway and the next nearest requires using a bus(money), the support "shop" has been shut due to cutbacks and the job centre tells you to apply online!!!!!
Once you finally manage to claim and they tell you you can stay on income support until the child turns 5 or whatever you are probably going to produce 2nd, 3rd, etc because it is easier than changing claim or getting a job and losing benefits.
Ridiculous scenario??? Daughter had a problem with her water. Took 4 hours on the phone(mine) to sort that one. The only way to communicate quickly is phone or email - if you have neither then you are stuck. She got over 50% off so result. Now to get the back history overpayment back(a good 3-400) she needs a letter from the Council. 2 phone calls and we are still waiting, we need confirmation of council tax credit from when she moved in, NOT the reference number showing she is currently receiving it(we already have THAT). Guess whose phone she is using for that one? 30+ mile round trip, find a signal, make the call or she comes to me. Go to council? - they shut the one stop help shop - ring or go online AAARRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now imagine you are young and do not have family to help, if you ever got through all the forms etc why risk having to go through it again? Once on benefits for a few years i can imagine one loses the will to work anyway.
Cookie - now get used to be treated like **** by the people at the job centre.
Must admit I was impressed with the lady sent out to check on daughter's benefits. She came to her, she advised her she didn't need to do anything if she didn't want to
and when she heard daughter's future educational and work plans told her to see her and she would help her claim for the ways she got most money
. She was really rather enthusiastic - so why not enthuse all the unenthusiastic young mums to get off butts, go to college, get qualifications whilst there is no pressure to actually work. Daughter is working 15 hours for nowt, going to college 2 half days and all course fees and childminding are being paid for her. Think it is a fair return.
Well I had a great experience when I phoned up DWP re my mum's pension. She made the mistake of getting married and moving abroad before her 60th birthday. When she got her pension it remained at the same level for the 24 years she lived abroad. To give you an idea of how much she got, it would not have got her one of those special Valentine Dine in at M&S.
When she moved back here in December we phoned up and the person we spoke to was very helpful - only needed mum's NI number to get it sorted. Mum's pension has more than doubled now that she is back living in the UK.
