Mental Illness/Autism and doing this full time, self employed

[stompysdad]

Understand: THIS IS NOT ME LOOKING FOR SYPATHY. I'm looking for people similar to myself and how they cope.

I've been suffering from depression since my early 20's, asperger's since birth and recently been 'blessed' after graduation 4 years ago with anxiety.

I've been on ebay since it begin but only recently seen it as a full time job op. My first month was december and I got a supplier (I dropship, atm but looking for reliable low cost wholesalers and other stock oppuntinies) and made loads of mistakes. Mistakes I'm STILL working through, late January. This week I thought I sent the whole backlog of my orders. However I got a per-centage of faulty items and most recently me thinking I sent orders off but those orders have been misplaced. As you can imagine, I'm getting a few angry e-mails and I dread looking at my profile for feedback.

Since this week, my sleeping as gone to... Poop. I'm forcing myself to eat and I don't want to interact with people at all. I'm having to force myself to commicate with customers (I also work as a performing artist on fiverr). I currently have little wanting to do anything work wise. But I'm forcing myself to. Been wanting to write this confession for a few days now.

I just want to know if other sellers struggle with health issues, if they drop ship* and how they first month was.

I'm a strong person but when you suffer from depression, imagine your life as a boxing match. You are a whetherweight and life is heavyweight. Now imagine some rounds you are covered in tracle.

I just would like to read stories of other sellers over-coming such demons.

*I am aware of how expensive dropshipping can be and do not wish this conversation to focus JUST on how bad/low profit dropshipping is. I dropship because on weeks like this getting out of bed is an xbox live achievement, let alone sending out orders if I had ALL my stock here.

[*wild*rose]

Hi there stompysdad! 

You are definitely not alone - many other eBayer's have illnesses etcetera to cope with.  Depression is a long hard struggle.

I think this thread would be better on the Seller Central board, and possibly Alan the Community Manager, or one of the Moderators might move it there.  So just be aware that you might be 'moved'.

If you do go on that board ignore any of the jokers who try to wind you up (there are a few), but most people on the eBay fora are very helpful, and kind.

I hope others join the conversation, and I wish you loads of luck. 

Rose.  

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Hmmm, moved to the Round Table.  Not sure that would be my choice of board for this topic (no offence to the RT regs).

Stompysdad, eBay is a tough place to sell.  Really tough.  And they do not tolerate poor performance, whatever the cirs.  So, it is really important to only take on what you can efficiently manage.  Ebay is not into giving sellers any slack, the benefit of the doubt, or second chances.  Sad, I know, and not how it used to be, even a couple of yrs ago.

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

BTW, if you want any help from other sellers about particular selling issues, Seller Central would be the best place to ask.

http://community.ebay.co.uk/t5/Seller-Central/bd-p/27

Good luck!

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Right, so here we are on FH&G.  This is a well travelled thread.  Stompysdad, hopefully some of the posters here will be able to give you some advice.

*hands over to the good people frequenting the FH&G board*

[**towery**]

i am  sorry to be frank but not having stock yoursel,f and using  drop shipping is not a good  idea for  first time sellers.  many others have found that to their cost

selling in the few months before xmas is fraught  enough without being a new seller

and looking at the feedback you received so far i believe  have  you wont have any bother  with ebaybuyers   as i foresee a  selling ban  coming up

[aernethril]

As has been said, sadly you've got off to such a bad start, you won't be allowed to continue selling on eBay and a ban will be permanent.

But, this does not mean you cannot sell as a self-employed person elsewhere.  However, it is so often a very stressful way to earn money and there is a lot more involved in running a business that you don't have as an employee.

Anxiety is part of Aspergers and it's a very real and physical, as much as mental, illness. Depression is also always just hovering when you have even a few things going wrong.

There is so much more help "out there" and understanding of the effects that Asperger's can have on you physically and one of the key factors is to try and avoid stress so you don't end up wanting to hide under the duvet for days on end or self-destruct.

So this is not impossible by any means, but I would advise you do some more research to find out what and who is out there to give you the practical support you need to at least get going elsewhere and in an area that is not so stressful for you. Drop shipping is about as stressful as it can get so I would advise you let go of that as an option.

Have you joined the NAS?  You can do so for as little as £10 per year if you have financial problems.  If not, I cannot recommend them highly enough.  You could also try to contact Prospects which is part of the NAS who may be able to either help you in your ventrure or put you in touch with someone who can help.

If you're still 'young' enough, you could try the Princes Trust.

[*wild*rose]

I don't think the Round Table or Family, Home & Garden are the place for this thread.  

stompysdad is a seller, asking for advice as a seller (a seller, like many with health problems adding to the stress of selling on eBay).

I think the busy Seller Central board would bring forth more advice.

stompy, try looking around on the Seller Central board, and there is also a New to Selling board.

Don't forget to get as much support and help as you can for your health problems from your local GP and support groups, friends and family - the ones who understand.

As before, I wish you good luck both with selling and your health.  

[*pixachu*]

FHG  isn't the right board as others have said, but I can totally understand you trying to find somewhere that is helpful but where people also have some compassion 🙂

Which is why I didn't want to read this and ignore!

I can't really help with the selling/dropshipping.... it just sounds too complicated and messy.

Selling on ebay can be hard and I think that you need to re-evalue why you chose this method. I sell occasionally on ebay and it is hard enough when you have the item and you know it is good/as described etc and you can post it yourself and track it ....

Think about other options 🙂

You are trying to overcome the obstacles in your way and that has to be applauded. I hope when my Aspie son is older he will have a bit of drive and try hard like you. There must be some support out there for you; please try to seek some assistance/support/grants etc to help you set up a sound business that you can work slowly at and be successful at.

Good Luck x

[the-ginger-ninja]

Stompysdad

You have got off to a very bad start as a seller, I doubt if the account is saveable but if it is then your only option now is to sell a larger number of items with inclusive postage. You add the cost to the start price, remembering to add 10% for the ebay fees.

Do not continue with drop shipping - on here it is account suicide, you need to have the items in your hands so you can control the sale.

1 - take good clear photos of the item, not a stock photo 

2 - lose this bit of your descriptions - I'm only a small trader and this is my few months of trading. Please be patience and allow me to serve you better and honestly. Cheers.  - it won't help 

3 - Dispatch same or next working day 3-5 days is too long for buyers to wait for dispatch

4 - Don't ask for feedback in the listings - you could get more of the sort you don't want

5 - You need more information in the descriptions, a gamer may know exactly what you are selling but someone like me who lives with a gamer and buys for him has to be spoonfed the info, write them as though you were selling to me, I don't have a clue 

This is a tough road for anyone and when you are suffering from depression it gets steeper and lonelier, I am about to lose TRS on my selling account because of the issues I have with my mental and physical health. I will get it back but it will take a huge effort, one which at present is triggering migraines every few days.

Aerne has given you good advice which I would recommend that you follow.

As for the thread being moved to seller central, maybe it would get more responses however I am not sure they would be so supportive and  😞  tis a bit of a gladitorial arena on there at times 

[guardpig]

As somebody else says get some support in place.  Would be seeking help with the depression too.  At least you are trying . Good luck to you.

Ebay is not the place to sell stuff you do not have in stock or the dropshipper cannot ship the same day.  It is a pressured selling platform.  Why not set up a website, get some local advertising, only list on Ebay stock you actually have when you can cope with the despatches and send flyers with all orders.

[stompysdad]

Moved again?! Grrrrrrrrrr!

Just been moved from the Ebay Cafe... Sometimes ebay nor paypal are doing nothing to help my illness...

[merc1_clocks]

 stompy...I don't want to sound harsh - but neither ebay or Paypal have any influence over your illness.

Please speak to professional, medical doctors...they are the ones who can help you - not Ebay.

[topcat83]

have to day when  it comes to getting help  there is a lot of waffle about what help you can have  and what you actually get

 when push came to shove  the only help I managed to get for the other half was  from macmillen  who pointted me in right direction and talking to other patients  they had drawn a blank  every where too

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

---

@stompysdad wrote:

Moved again?! Grrrrrrrrrr!

Just been moved from the Ebay Cafe... Sometimes ebay nor paypal are doing nothing to help my illness...

---

You're still in the Cafe.  Just a different section.

[*vyolla*]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but ebay is not the selling platform for you. I can't think of a damage limitation exercise here, either.

Your feedback and DSRs (stars) are now way below what ebay consider to be acceptable.

You need to take a look at your Seller dashboard and check how many low ratings (1s or 2s) you've received.

All info about how ebay's Seller Standards works and how to monitor it is here:

http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/seller-non-performance.html

[kiss*my*pixel]

Strompy - FHG is a very good place for sympathy, empathy and moral support for this condition, but if you are asking for help with your selling, then Sellar Central is the place for you.

My Mum suffers most dreadfully with depression (has done since I was born, 54 years ago, think I was the cause of it!!) I suffer to a lesser degree, so do understand what you are feeling.

If you haven't already, then please, please, please seek professional help - it is virtually impossible to overcome it on your own, and as others have said, you won't get the help you need from a forum, as nice as most people on here are . . .

Love and best wishes to you 

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid to be selling on ebay these days as a small business seller you need to have a cast iron constitution, a thick hide and the stress levels of a dormouse.  Sellers in full  health are struggling so I really think you need to step back and reassess the situation.

Trying to run a business on your own, with no back up, is a huge undertaking, if you are going to have a percentage of your time unable to cope with the demands. It doesn't matter what type of problem you have, but if you have issues you will usually be better off without that sole responsibility. If you have a statemented condition you should be able to get extra help towards finding your ideal position from job centre etc. The citizens advice bureau are usually the ones to start with.

Drop shipping was not a good choice. Buyers hate it, even if they know up front and if they dont they get annoyed and reflect that in feedback and ratings when the parcel arrives and they can see its been dropshipped. You are totally reliant on the dropshipper and any mistakes they make will end up on your feedback. The very large sellers can withstand the damage but a small seller starting out cant. I wish you had popped in for advice before you started selling.