05-12-2013 12:06 PM
I have just had a lovely new friend round for a cuppa and a chat, and have had to be the most emotionally strong.
We have chatted online sporadically for the last 6 months or so.
Her daughter was very ill and has now died of cancer at a young age (my daughter's age) after a long battle. I think I mentioned about her on here once. She was the most beautiful child..... all the local children knew about her (because of fundraising to send her to America) and as is life these days, she posted video blogs, instagrams etc along her journey.
Her Mum wanted to buy something off me (I sell bits n bobs locally via facebook groups) and I suggested she was welcome to call in for a cuppa. This is a first for me as I find it so hard to make friends, and I have never had anyone pop round for a cuppa.
Well, I managed to not say anything insensitive, and not make her cry or myself cry. Which was hard. I had a wobble for a second when my eyes blurred, but somehow gained the strength to keep things positive. Talking about her daughter was hard.
I had never met her but the internet brought me pictures, information and videos about her, so like many many people over the world, I "knew" her a little bit. I don't know if that helps, but it seems to help her Mum know that so many people out there supported them when they needed it. And still do.
I hope that she will be round again one day. Just a lovely person who has spent 4 and a half years caring/fighting for her daughter who now feels a bit lost each day as there's no medical schedule, no care plans....
Life is so *wrong* sometimes. So unfair 😞 That beautiful girl should still be here xxx
05-12-2013 12:36 PM
Pixachu,, thats so lovely of you, im tearing up now just reading this. God bless them,,, yes its always the wonderful kind and loving people that go far too early. Your like me im always worried about saying the wrong thing,, but you did not . You handled it well and its difficult. Because its difficult to know what to say!!.
Bless you love.
05-12-2013 12:58 PM - edited 05-12-2013 1:00 PM
I have cried about this girl so many times in the last two months. I do not cope well with things like that.
I have a real social phobia, and so lack of social contact means I am awkward sometimes. So just having someone new around was a challenge, but she is lovely. Just a normal person who has had a nightmare few years...x
I hope having a very normal chat with me was refreshing for her, as when you have spent so long as a carer, and you suddenly have all the days free to do as you please.... it's not good. She is reminded of her darling daughter wherever she goes.
05-12-2013 1:29 PM
I am glad you have got together & hope it has helped both of you.
05-12-2013 2:49 PM
Pixachu was the item she bought from you meant to happen? you have said you have social issues and find it hard to open up but you did very well talking to her and about the little girl. Read it how you like but she has gone away from your house knowing she can talk to you, she will be back and you have a new friendship. Bless you for talking to her and contacting her even if it was on social networks.
05-12-2013 3:03 PM
05-12-2013 9:13 PM
06-12-2013 9:17 AM
Pix, you did really well and she's probably gone from your home feeling
more comforted than you can imagine. It's not easy to know what to
say but it's awkward when you feel you shouldn't avoid the issue.
Hope you have the beginnings of a lovely friendship. When you find
a friend that you get on so easily with, they're well worth hanging onto.
True friends can be there with you or hundreds of miles away, but
somehow you help each other along life's way, sharing the good times
and stumbling over the difficult bits together.
It's so, so sad when little ones are taken, well when anyone is, but
little children, I don't know, there seems no reason. My sister died
when she was 12, a long time ago now, but such sad things never
make any sense.
06-12-2013 9:43 AM
I hope that we become friends. She messaged me again last night, so seems very positive.
I am sure lots of her friends and family work.... I dont mind if I am just there for a daytime cuppa and a chat. Somewhere to vent.
Some of the things she said were simply heartbreaking; such as how beautiful her daughter was as a baby. I can be aloof and that is what saved me from crumbling. xx
17-01-2014 4:01 PM
Just a quick update.
I can announce that the aloof pixachu has indeed seemingly made a new friend 🙂
We chat online mostly (on facebook) but she just phoned me and is coming round again next week.
Nobody ever phones me - we chatted for half an hour then I had to go and get the kids from school.
17-01-2014 4:09 PM
I'm so pleased for you pix
17-01-2014 4:14 PM
Thanks. I am rubbish at connecting with people, so it's a big deal for me. xx
17-01-2014 4:22 PM
Well done, Pix. I'm a bit on the shy reserved side and can only really connect to people if I feel at ease with them. When I do, I can chatter away like a good 'un! If I think someone is "false" they have no chance with me. Let's hope you can have a very long-lasting friendship where you can help each other xx
17-01-2014 4:49 PM
That's great Pix. Well done,
18-01-2014 3:09 PM
Pix im so pleased,,,,,,,,,,, she obviously wants your friendship and feels comfortable. Its very difficult. Hugs hun ((())).
20-01-2014 10:28 AM
She's a good one, she really is. Just so down to earth and genuine.
Somehow I am able to think about her daughter without blubbing (most of the time) .... I well up but with just a few deep breaths I try to be strong.
But today I feel upset and angry that this happened to her. She was a beautiful child... 11years old. It is just so heartbreaking.
20-01-2014 1:56 PM
Im just the same Pix,, i see babies and little kids with terrible illnesses and things that have happened to them. I think its all for a reason. Their meant to be strong. I well up all the time with just thoughts or things on television. Life can be very cruel,, i have learnt that!!. Your not alone Pixachu. ((())).
20-01-2014 3:54 PM
Well done Pix. I feel very sorry for that lady and I can't imagine how hard it must be for her losing her daughter like that. It is heartbreaking.
Well done again.