So Angry. Never trust a word a buyer says

[vintagechinashop]

Had a buyer purchase an item from me and just as I was about to post they sent me a message asking to cancel. I wish id just done that but they asked me not to send and please don't refund.   I thought it strange but I trusted them so did exactly that. How stupid was I because this morning they opened an item not received case with a very angry message. Refund ASAP as you never sent it. So I sent them a nice message saying I was confused as they asked me not to send or refund. To which they just answered you didn't send so refund now. 
How nice. I'll not be trusting a buyer again because now I will probably get a late delivery mark   

[therenewalworkshopltd]

You shouldn't on principal trust buyers.  They have a habit of changing their minds as it's just a name on the other side of a computer screen, they really don't care.

If you get one like that again, I would suggest, that you reply and tell them that it will be cancelled by the end of the day regardless, unless they mail and ask for it to be delivered.

But how long did you leave it, as they shouldn't be able to open an item not received straight away?

You need a thicker skin with this kind of thing.  I got a customer yesterday F'ing a Blinding at me and threatening to get all their "mates" to buy my stuff and leave negative feedback, Unless I refunded them now!

Needless to say, it got reported.

[vintagechinashop]

Yes I know. Lesson learnt. They waited three weeks before opening the case. I really don't have a problem refunding them. I just wish I'd done it anyway despite what they said because now I've got a case opened and I've been trying to get my metrics improved. Oh well silly me I will make sure I don't trust a buyer again. Sad but necessary 

[myriad*seller]

Maybe a fellow seller got his mate to  buy from you to bring your stats down.....

[therenewalworkshopltd]

Honestly, I know that kind of thing goes on, but in 99.9% of cases, it's buyers who are just ignorant/lazy etc.

[vintagechinashop]

They leave a lot of negative feedback and mostly for items not received so I'm thinking that might be around the corner. I will appeal but I don't hold out much hope. Also I think that maybe they make a habit of doing this. Why anyone should do this for the fun of it I don't know 

[stormatic2015]

I agree with myriad*seller. Sounds like compertition. Could check to see other feedback they have left and see if the items they brought are all of the same type of items you sell.
Report them for that suspsicion and if action is taken, any linked accounts they could have will also be effected (AKA main selling account). Even if it was a mate they might have loged in at the same time under the same IP or work place.

If they sent you a message through the eBay system, you could try and appeal the defects and negative feedback by phoning up eBay CS and pointing that out to them. 

Its always a learning experience and now you know you should always refund on any cancellation even if they say to keep it.

[Anonymous]

Around a year ago I used to see accounts that hadn't sold anything for years - all of a sudden offering laptops at silly prices, the accounts had obviously been taken over.

Just wondering whether your buyer may have been using someone else's accounts - realised he had forgotten to change the postal address - so had to get in touch with you to tell you not to send it.

If a buyer asked me not to send an item but said I could keep the money - I'd either send it anyway or refund, I wouldn't feel comfortable taking money for an item I hadn't sent.

[vintagechinashop]

I've been doing a bit of digging.  Buyer is registered in United States. The address I had on the order was in Southampton. And looking at feedback there's mention of things being sent to wrong addresses and also problems with customs on items sent to them in the US

alll looks very dodgy.  I have reported the buyer and also blocked them but I'm not holding out any hope of eBay doing anything. There's one feedback they left where they claim not receipt and the seller has refunded but they say on the feedback only after opening case. I guess this will be the feedback coming my way too. I really wish there is something I can do about this but I doubt eBay will listen 

[ed_58611]

Please be assured that I am not here to criticise you or your business but...

You don't think it "dodgy" to keep the monies sent for an item never to be sent, despite what the seller said?

And perhaps doing some digging before deciding to keep the money would have proved the wisest course of action... have you previously had any offers such as that... something for nothing?

However you feel about it now, I heartily recommend that you read this article on cancellation as you will find it informative & helpful, not to say extremely pertinent, and will protect you during future transactions and offers which seem to good to be true...

https://www.ebay.co.uk/help/policies/member-behavior-policies/order-cancellation-policy?id=5298

[therenewalworkshopltd]

A little patronising don't you think?

Maybe a little naive, but I don't think dodgy on the sellers part!

Though for some reason you seem to have got buyer and seller mixed up.

[vintagechinashop]

Absolutely. Thank you @therenewalworkshopltd 

I may be naive but there are some genuine people in this world @ed_58611  but clearly you think not  

I can assure you I did not greedily keep the money but when someone says to you please keep the money most people would do exactly that. We are not talking big bucks here £10 and I would have only been able to partially refund as I had already paid the online postage 

I have learnt a lesson here but it still makes me very angry 

[ed_58611]

Not meant to be patronising at all although I do think the seller has herself to blame... there is a process for cancellations and an eBay help page to which I provided a link.

There is no mix up... the seller accuses the buyer's account of looking "dodgy" while I merely return the compliment by suggesting her outrage at having to refund what she had believed "unearned income" somewhat incredulous... "something for nothing".

And I do not subcribe to your suggestion that the buyer is naive having had her current account for 10 years, claiming in a response to feedback it's double that, although that may well be including a different account. 

[ed_58611]

I'm neither an expert on what "most people would do" nor would it matter one iota to me... I only know that I could never feel comfortable in keeping what I had not earned.

Should this unusual situation recur I strongly suggest that you ensure the cancellation is made "official", returning all monies and cancelling labels immediately as these are time sensitive... hopefully you may yet be able to recover the postage fees.

[vintagechinashop]

Each to their own. 

thank you for your advice. My post was not to gain advice merely to point out my annoyance that the buyer changed their mind 

as I've already said lesson learnt. I'm fully clued up on the cancellation process thank you and will definitely not be trusting a buyer when they specifically say please do not refund. I'm unsure why they did so but as I say from THEIR FEEDBACK. that this is a stunt they seem to pull often 

[ojewellery · Accepted solution]

No real advise just offering a bit of sympathy.  I hate that niggling feeling when you know you've got a complex customer, you try to do what they've requested, even if it goes slightly against the normal process.  Then it bites you back - having tried to be helpful!  It's the sitting waiting for their next action that means its hard to just get on with your life, it hangs over you.

I guess the only other thing beyond blocking and reporting is to leave follow up feedback as a written trail for other sellers.  Have to think carefully about the wording so as not to break any rules but if it looks like it may have already happened to others, it may save someone else some of the frustration you've had.  A tiny potential good out of a bad situation.

[vintagechinashop]

Thank you @ojewellery  no feedback as yet. Hopefully if it arrives I can as you say carefully word a response