Hi all
Some of you know about the terrible heartbreak I have encountered over the last 2 years but for the benefit of others I will explain.
In January 2013 I lost my gorgeous collie cross Sally. She had been diagnosed as having congestive heart failure in March 2012 but it was being controlled with medication. In December 2013 she was diagnosed as having lymphodema and it was very aggressive, she could not be given steroids as they would cause her heart to fail totally. When I got up on the morning of January 6th 1 front leg and 1 back leg was swollen terribly with fluid as a result of the cancer and she could not stand up. I had to have her put to sleep that day and my heart felt like it had been ripped out 
Although I did not know her true age as she was a rescue, I believe she was around 16/17 so she had a good innings and she was spoilt rotten by me. I miss her and yearn for her snuggles every single day. xxx
In February 2013 I lost my dad, again to that vile disease that is cancer. He had been diagnosed as having several brain tumours in July 2012 which they thought they could treat but in November 2012 we were told it was terminal and that it was throughout his body 😞 Again I miss him every single day, he was my best friend and just the most amazing person. xxx
In December 2013 I lost my gorgeous border collie Jess, she had a massive stroke and I rushed her to the vets of course but she had another stroke on the way there and she had to be put to sleep. Again she had a very good innings as she was 16. I miss her too and yearn for her cuddles every single day xxx
As time went on my remaining dog Molly (an aussie shepherd) got so depressed it was pitiful, she had lost both her pals within 12 months of each other and she was lost. At the end of January this year I rescued a 12 week old GSD Collie cross who had been badly neglected and was literally skin and bone. His name is Shadow and he is a big big bear and him and Molly were inseperable, she adored him and he her so despite my heartache I was happy that Molly was no longer depressed bless her xxx
Almost 6 weeks ago I kicked my partner out as I found out he was cheating on me but he had put me through hell for most of our 4+ years together so despite being crazy about it him once upon a time I was glad to see the back of him if that makes sense but nontheless it was painful initially but I am totally over him now as I was able to learn to despise him after everything he put me through (very long story).
Last Thursday evening my gorgeous Aussie Shepherd Molly took ill before my eyes, drooling, struggling for breath so I of course rushed her to the vets. She walked to the car but had to be helped in and again she needed lifting out when we got to the vets but she walked into the surgery albeit at a snails pace. As it was out of hours we had to wait for around 10 mins for the vet to finish off with someone else and by the time we were called in to the consulting room she could not stand up 😞 When the vet started to examine her she discover that Molly was paralysed in her back legs and when she examined her front she discovered that Molly could not see 😞 The vet said that she believed it was a massive brain tumour and I knew I had no choice but to have her put to sleep. At that point I collapsed, my legs buckled under me, I could not believe what was happening to my big bear, she was only 5 bless her. While the vet went off to prepare the injection and give us the chance to say our goodbyes Molly went into a massive seizure which was just totally horrific, my daughter was with us and I did my best to shield her from what was happening whilst shouting for the vet to come and end her suffering quickly as she was dying in my arms in much the same way as Jess did 😞 The vet could not find a vein so she had to inject straight into her heart.
I still cannot believe that she has gone and I honestly don't know how I am going to get through this, My heart feels like it has been ripped out of my chest, I have never known pain like it.
I love all my animals the same but when they are taken from us young you feel cheated, you expect to have them around for 15 years or so, the physical pain is just crippling me and I just do not know how to deal with this.
:(:(:(
xxx
