Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[tommy.irene]

Bill uses that on the drunks..

[bill-xxx]

One black coffee for me...:_|

Good morning all...:-)

[tommy.irene]

Quick a case of whisky..he back..he made a mastake ..The world ends on 21st October 2011 now..

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

IT Problems?

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and House cleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.......................................................

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System.  Please enter the command: 'http: IThought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears. Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in thebackground that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband. In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

:^O

[bill-xxx]

Good morning, Caution :-x

:^O

If you can stop laughing for a minute maybe you like something to drink?

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Morning Bill. :-x

Yes, that would be nice.  Lemme see! I'll have something purple today I think.   What have you got?

[bill-xxx]

Caution ~ this is called Purple Sunrise ~ one of my specials...

It will waft you off to paradise...

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Gosh! 😮  That is purple, for sure! :^O  Better try not to dribble it down my nice white t-shirt.

[bill-xxx]

Gosh! 😮  That is purple, for sure! :^O  Better try not to dribble it down my nice white t-shirt.

Yes Caution, it is purple. We bar people are trained, you know. When a customer asks for a purple drink we aim to please by giving them a purple drink...:-D

Could you not mention dribbling down your white t- shirt please? I am all of a dither now! 😮

Oh go on then! :^O

[**caution**opinion_ahead]

Nowt to get in a dither about, I can assure you. 😛

[bill-xxx]

I've just had the Studio Christmas catalogue delivered 😮

Well I was going to buy Charlie a book anyway so that's saved me lashing out :^O

*excited* 😄

[tommy.irene]

Listen when boys when this is over meet me in Bill & Charlies Bar for a pint..

[tommy.irene]

Fancy a pint in Bill & Charlies Bar

Drinks are on me..

[bill-xxx]

🙂

[bill-xxx]

This has just flown over my house 😮

RAF Rescue, and it's heading out to sea.

Hope someone isn't in trouble...

[skyfly2112]

Evening Bill and Charlie, please can I have a double vodka and ice.

Have new shoes one today and my feet are killing me.

*** sits on comfy couch and takes shoes off and rubs feet***

Ahhhhhhhh..... That's much better. taking load off.

I think that helicopter may be about to drop some one off Bill,  hope you have some guiness in:^O

And can you throw in a bag of peanuts Bill to, fnacy a nibble.

[geographically*challenged]

Here ya go talula-tulip

[geographically*challenged]

here are the peanuts

[bill-xxx]

Hello Lin :-x

Sorry neither of us were around but I see Tim has kindly stepped in to help out.

I did hear a squeeky noise a while ago and have been looking for a mouse in the cellar, but I think it could have been your new shoes 😄

Hope you enjoyed your drink and nuts 😮 😄

The helicopter came back over a about ten minutes later and the guy popped his head out to ask which way to the beach. New chap I guess 🙂

Come back soon...:-)

[algasmoon]

Hi there, anyone about to serve up a double Vodka with lemonade? Need it after trying to view the new stupid items sold page on here, scrolling left and right to see it's entirety made me feel I was watching the tennis, what a diabolical liberty!