Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[09charliegirl]

A man walked into B&C's bar with an alligator under his arm and asked Bill,

'Do you serve bankers here?'.

Yes', said Bill (twerp!) :^O

'Good', said the man

'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a banker for my alligator'. :^O

[bill-xxx]

Charlie walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre - so he gave her one. 😮

:^O

[09charliegirl]

Doc Clarke always stopped at his local pub after work for a hazelnut daiquiri  (a special drink Bill, the landlord,  had created just for him].

One evening, Bill ran out of hazelnut flavour so he substituted hickory nuts instead.

Doc Clarke took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,

This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri, Bill!' '

No, I'm sorry', replied Bill,

'it's a hickory daiquiri, doc.'  :^O

[bill-xxx]

.

One evening, Bill ran out of hazelnut flavour so he substituted hickory nuts instead.

Doc Clarke took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,

This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri, Bill!' '

No, I'm sorry', replied Bill,

'it's a hickory daiquiri, doc.'  :^O

:^O:^O:^O

You berk! :^O

The assistant asked Charlie if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

:^O

[bill-xxx]

Charlie was walking down the road with a pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle!"

:^O

[09charliegirl]

Hey Bill 😮

I've found a parking space ......:^O

[bill-xxx]

Hey Bill 😮

I've found a parking space ......:^O

:^O

Oh what a night that was! :^O

[tommy.irene]

 seen this sign in the carpark

[tommy.irene]

What was i drinking..today

[bill-xxx]

Charlie was cruising down the motorway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.

“May I see your licence and registration, please?” asked the cop.

Miffed, Charlie said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my licence. Now today you want me to show it to you!”

:^O

[Anonymous]

:^O

Hi guys. :-x

[bill-xxx]

Hi Harry :-x

How you doing?

Now here's a direct question: How do you feel like a job at our Bar as a Security Guard?

[Anonymous]

Ok, I can use a few dollars more.....

[bill-xxx]

You look after the safety of the customers ~ AND the staff, but do not shoot up the bar :^O

[Anonymous]

I won't make any promises.....but I'll do my best to keep this place free of nutters.....B-)

[bill-xxx]

Well that should keep the bar empty! :^O

[Anonymous]

Yeahp.....]:)

[bill-xxx]

I tried to catch Suzie today to offer her a job too, but she kept scarpering...

[jake*the*plumber]

Evenin' folks, you still serving Bill? 😛

[Anonymous]

She must have been soaking up that sun....that nice warm yellow thing that we didn't see......X-(