Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[logbox]

Hi Doc, I see you are getting the old place up and running again, for say, twenty percent of the taking plus any dodgy pictures of Al I can make sure nothing gets broken, you get my meaning? *picks teeth with thumbnail*

[Anonymous]

Get off my lawn Logs.

[logbox]

You have had your day Harry, time for a younger and better looking man to rule the roost.

*hooks thumbs in belt and looks kind of cool*

[bill-xxx]

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@logbox wrote:

Hi Doc, I see you are getting the old place up and running again, for say, twenty percent of the taking plus any dodgy pictures of Al I can make sure nothing gets broken, you get my meaning? *picks teeth with thumbnail*

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Hi Logsie.

What a nice thieving chappie. But if you can find anything that's not already broken I'll fix that woodworm in your leg for free ~ by sawing it orf!

    Twenty percent?        

[Anonymous]

[bill-xxx]

Anyone serving? tsk! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please!

[electric*mayhem*band]

It's time to talk of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax, of cabbages, and barmen.....got any Mercury landlord, or has Logs drank it all ?

[bill-xxx]

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@electric*mayhem*band wrote:

It's time to talk of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax, of cabbages, and barmen.....got any Mercury landlord, or has Logs drank it all ?

---

I did offer to give him one but he said he's already going steady ~ or unsteady in his case!

[Anonymous]

[bill-xxx]

                                                           

[bill-xxx]

                               

[electric*mayhem*band]

That piccy of the Dubliners, reminds me of the four stalwarts of the Roundy Table.....no names, no pack drill.

Well OK, I will if I'm coaxed with a pint of Cap'n Morgan's Spiced Rum.

*licks lips expectantly*

Edited.

Removes incriminating sentence.

[tommy.irene]

An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in... Bill & Charlies bar... They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!' Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.' Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, 'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit

[bill-xxx]

Thought the RT was shut.   Here's your rum. Now name the gruesome foursome.

                                                                                            

[bill-xxx]

NOTICE: No food or drink can be swerved from the Bar until the Health Inspector has been resuscitated. Meanwhile, repairs will be carried out as usual.

                                         

[bill-xxx]

Swerved?  

[margaret*e]

You need one of these.

[bill-xxx]

Thanks Margaret. Not a good start to the day!

[logbox]

That chewing gum from the machine in the gents must be out of date, it has no flavour, blow some big bubbles with it though.

[bill-xxx]

Oh thanks. I'll get it looked at and check the use-by dates. Had one myself last night and put it back after to save on costs.